The longest post ever

I’m telling you people, I warned you about being let down. I really did. No complaining do you hear me? Okay, as long as we are clear.

On with a quick little (well, really an incredibly long and painfully boring) story. Let’s start at the beginning.

So two hundred twenty-five days ago I decided I wanted to do something significant. Something different. Something hard. At least to me. I decided upon my goal, wrote an annoying blog post, made many people think I was expecting a baby and moved forward.

For the next four months, I did okay. I worked hard at times, slacked off at times, felt incredibly motivated at times and felt incredibly lazy at times. I made progress, but slowly and sporadically.

But the end of May, I knew it was time to really get going and surprisingly, I finally kicked it in gear. I trained, I worked hard, and while I still had times of not feeling well or not being perfect in my training, I was consistent. And as we all know (and I try hard not to accept) consistency is the key. And it does pay off.

Two days ago, I ran my first road race. To so very many of you, you could run it in your sleep (which would be strange if you really think about it), but to me, it was a big deal. It was a 5K (3.1 miles for all of you reaching for your metric conversion calculators) and while that may seem simple, it wasn’t to me.

I will tell you that the first time I ran 3.1 miles, I was as slow as tar, or whatever is slower than that. It took me 45 minutes to get through those miles. Painful to admit, but hey, it is true so what do you do about it? I’m not a runner, I’ve never been a runner, I don’t think I’ve ever even wanted to be a runner. I played many sports in junior high and high school and while I was an okay player, running was just not my thing. And I definitely didn’t run distances. I was trying to remember back and I’m honestly not sure I’ve ever run more than a couple of miles at a time. To top it off, I’m a little older than I was in high school, I’ve had about four more kids than I did back then, I have a pound or two (or many) on me that I didn’t used to carry around and I have a little less time to train than I did at the ripe old age of sixteen. So don’t all of these scream ‘Run a 5K old lady!’?

Even though I had a slow start, the workouts the last three months really helped me to increase my speed and I brought my time down quite a bit. Anyone that runs, and I still don’t feel like I deserve to put myself in this category…yet, knows it is hard to bring down your running times. Luckily, when you start so painfully slow, you are bound to get better. And I did. I’ll tell you that I decided I would be thrilled if I could ever (and I mean in my whole life) run a 5K in under 35 minutes. So I was very happy that even before the race, I was getting a couple of minutes under that time.

Race day came, and lucky for us (Did I mention Jacob was running it too? Plenty more on that later...) a hurricane was headed to our area. Which was doubly fun because we were running the race in a little town on the coast of Massachusetts called Scituate. And it was going to be good friends with Hurricane Danny. It was raining a lot.

And it didn’t get any better. In fact, except for a few seconds after we arrived of very light rain, it was wet. Extremely wet. For the most part, it didn’t bother me, as I prefer wet to hot, but at the end, when every step felt sloshy and puddle-like, it was just gross. But rain or not, I did it. And I didn’t even finish last. In fact, I got a huge personal best and I was beyond thrilled. I was praying for under 35 minutes, would have been thrilled beyond belief to get close to 32 minutes and ended up getting 30:51. Not a big deal to true runners, but a huge deal to me. It was a wet, happy day for sure.

Two hundred twenty-five days ago, I set a goal. And while I was not the fastest or the coolest or the best, I did it. I finished the race. I did not stop running even for a second. I got a new record. And I have to admit, it feels pretty awesome.

But before I post a bunch of pictures, can I just tell you that my amazing husband is the best?! He really is. He is that cool and that amazing and that wonderful. He is one of those that could run a 5K with very little effort. But Jacob always wants to challenge himself and do better. So he decided to run the race with me. And he trained like a crazy person. When you are already running three miles in what I consider a very fast time, cutting time off is beyond difficult. But Jacob trained and trained and ran and ran and ended up getting not only a personal record, but shaving one minute and thirty-four seconds off his previous 5K. He finished within seconds of twenty minutes. He is one of the most motivating people I have ever been around and I loved training with him and running this race with him. He is amazing to me!

Okay, on to the photos. They are not fancy or pretty, but they tell a story that is super happy to me. I loved doing something that was hard for me. I loved knowing that even when I got off track, I had to keep trying. I loved finishing something I started. And believe me, I love that tomorrow I start on a new twelve-week training program. Because come Thanksgiving morning, I have another 5K to run. And my goal is to get below 30 minutes on my time.

Yikes, I’d better get hauling.

A little bit of rain on the drive there. But isn't MA beautiful and green?

A quick picture right after getting out of the car. I'm not sure what look I was going for here.
I'm freezing, no I'm cool, no I'm scared out of my mind. Um actually, can we just get out of this rain?

Um hello? Does anyone happen to know my number in sports?
How did you guess? I took this as a very good sign.

Mr. Handsome. He looked as good starting the race as finishing.
Kind of annoying. In a loving sort of way.

Once again, what is this pose? I heard once that if you lean toward the camera you
look more confident in your pre-race photos and like you are not about to fail a 5K.
Okay, not really, I was trying to justify whatever I was doing here.

This I like to call, 'Holy frijoles is that the finish line I see? It better be because I am about to die.
I look like I am just intense and focused? Not so much. I'm seriously about to die! And my feet
 feel like mobile puddles.' I sure wish I had a photo of Jacob at the finish line, but that would mean I
would have had to finish before he did. And very few people did that. Did I mention he is awesome?

But here he is after the race. Yeah, a little nicer than my post-race photo, but I'm not bitter
or anything. Just impressed. And all full of love again for this amazing person I married.

Life.is.good.

Oh and PS. the other posts were just running times, or miles run or something to do with
my training. I really can't even remember them now. Sorry to torture. At least I didn't
just make you read the longest post ever. That would just be ridiculous.

Tonight's sky

A whole lotta nothing

Ben went to the doctor this morning and got a Get Out of Boot Free card. He is good to go, there is absolutely no sign of the break any longer and we are beyond thrilled. Especially because he is at that age when he screams like a rabid hyena when a doctor, or anyone who plays a doctor on television, shows up. Radiologists must have some sort of extra doctor superpower (maybe x-ray vision, okay, that was even painful to type) because that was a fun seven minutes. I almost asked them to x-ray my eardrums, you know, just in case.

Our parakeets behave worse than our children. (And if anyone was sitting behind us in sacrament meeting yesterday that is saying a lot.) They, the birds not the children, had a big old squabble and one of them ended up with an injury and drops of blood throughout the cage. Umm, hello? Who cannot keep control of parakeets? The answer would be me. Well, your answer would be "Linn" not "me," because that wouldn't make any sense and...oh nevermind. Anyway, we've worked through the issues, received Petco counseling (you know, where the pets go) and things seem happier tonight. I've also told them to "use their words" when they get angry and I think that's going to work out swell. Now if I can just get a hold of parakeet band aid because their cage is in in the corner of the dining room and the dried blood on Loud is a tad less than appetizing.

Speaking of that last sentence, did I ever mention I named the parakeets? Remember I said I would know the name when I heard it? Well, I heard it in my head (worrisome, but not unusual) and they immediately became Loud and Louder. And they are true to their names. Although as of tonight I'm thinking Squabble and Squabbler More has a better ring to it. But I already call two of the kids that and worry it would be confusing.

Why do I keep thinking about that ridiculous movie I watched a few nights ago? Creepy times ten and I can't get it out of my mind. (If you haven't seen it, don't read the rest of this paragraph. I'm serious, skip over it or you will hate me.) Or maybe it is because I need one of those machines so that there will be more than one of me and I can actually get something done. That's it, it had better rain and lower the humidity or I'm headed to visit a Mr. Nikola Tesla. Seriously though, did you know he really existed? I didn't. Did you also know that I am full of a whole lotta nothing? Yup, I'm confirming that one painful word at a time.

One of my cutest friends in the whole wide world had to have some surgery today and I went by to visit her tonight. (By the way, only she looks beautiful after major surgery, but at least I'm not bitter.) Can I just say that it was too much fun? She would ask me a question and then proceed to fall asleep as I started to answer. Every time. Then wake up a little while later saying, "Did I just ask you a question?" I loved it. And I love her. And she will be thrilled when we reads the blog and sees she is once again famous.

Speaking of famous, oh blasted, that story has to do with my post that is coming up on Monday, so I will ruin the surprise if I share it now. But it was funny. You would have liked it. I tell you, anyone that has an ounce of anticipation about my big reveal on Monday is going to be sorely disappointed. Sorely disappointed. If I were you, I would just skip it all together. But if you were also me you would have parakeets that have domestic issues, children that forget how to behave in sacrament meeting and be full of a whole lotta nothing. Count your blessings, friends.

Count your many blessings.

One year ago today

One year ago today our little family moved to Massachusetts. I wrote this post two days after we arrived. When I read that post, it brings back so many emotions—excitement, fear, sadness, loneliness, anticipation, love. All of the others make sense to those who have moved, but why love?

Last August 22nd, I was a completely different person. I mean completely different. Not necessarily worse or bad, just different. Maybe less grown up, more fearful, less tested. I guess I'm not sure how to explain it, except in my mind. What I am trying to say is this has been the most difficult year of my life. Hands down. I don't say it to be dramatic or to have anyone feel sorry for me or to make myself look all tough. It is just the truth. An absolutely-brought-me-to-my-knees-more-times-than-I-can-count kind of year. Literally brought me to my knees.

This past year, I have cried more, had my heart broken more and felt more intense loneliness than any other time in my life. Some of the instances were related to our move and some were not. Some I anticipated and some I definitely did not. But do you know what? I have also laughed more, felt peace so intense I could hardly breathe and felt the love and support of so many good people more often than I could ever have imagined.

And that is why my post a year ago brings up such a strong feeling of love. Because while this year has been harder than I expected or would have chosen, I would truly do it all again to get to the point I am now. To become the person I am becoming. I have Jacob. I have Campbell. I have Annie. I have Matthew. I have Benjamin. And being married to Jacob and being the mother of these four children is all that matters to me. Their love is enough. No matter what happens around me or to me or because of me, their love is enough. I hope they know that. And I plan to use this next year to make sure that they do.

I also have friends and family that have stood by me no matter what. They have shown their love to me in times that I least expected it and at times when I least deserved it. A kind email, a phone call, an unexpected package in the mail, a prayer on my behalf, and the list goes on and on. I have truly tried to express to them how much their love and kindness toward me has meant and more than anything, I hope they know.

But mostly, the love that my Heavenly Father has shown me has been, and still is, absolutely overwhelming to me. Because these particular experiences are personal and sacred to me, it is important I keep them where they belong. In my heart. But it is also important for me to let you know that there is a God in Heaven. And He is literally and truly our Father. And that His love for His children, every single one of us, is deeper and stronger than even I, as a mother and wife, can comprehend. But I have felt it at times when I truly thought there was no way to get past what I was going through and that the loneliness inside of me was too great to handle. I am His daughter. And for the rest of eternity, I will be grateful beyond words for that.

Thanks for letting me share. It was important for me tonight. But I should be getting to bed and will sign off as I did one year ago. When the house was brand new to us, when my children were getting ready to attend a new school thousands of miles away from their last one, when my husband was about to start his first day on the job, and when my mind and heart could not comprehend the days ahead. But my Heavenly Father could. And He was there for me. He always is.

Good night from Boston everyone.

Umm...come again?

Holy frijoles, has anyone out there seen the movie The Prestige? Jacob and I just watched
it last night, at the recommendation of my cute friend Lorri (who lives with us and also
loaned us her copy—so nice of her). And I'm not quite sure what to say. It is one of those
movies you go to bed talking about and wake up thinking about. It is also one of the few
movies I would consider watching again because now knowing the end, I know I missed
a lot of things I should have caught. I really liked it, I think. That is if I could wrap my head
around it. When it ended, I sat there stunned and all I could think was "Umm...come again?"

A heartfelt letter

Dearest Rain,

I beg of you. Please come back. I miss you. In your absence Humidity has shown up and won't go away. Not only does he not go away, but he is causing great grumpiness, headaches and loss of sleep in my cheerless self someone that will remain unnamed. The window a/c units, while super stylish, are not accomplishing anything in your absence. I am Certain people are miserable, which makes those around them miserable.

I've heard horror stories of moms allowing their children to watch hours of television on a daily basis, because going outside causes heatstroke and pathetic whining. And the heat inside the house leaves these lazy mothers with very little desire to be entertaining or make the children come up with their own inside games. Worse yet, I heard of a woman today that ate cookie dough for lunch. Just to spite Mr. Humidity. (Because you know how upsetting cookie dough can be to him).

Take pity on these poor people. And please come back.

Please.

With adoration and great faith in you,
Linn

(and Jacob who would sign this if he wasn't at work,
in an attempt to try to get away from his incredibly
grouchy wife a certain irritable someone)

Swimming with friends

Another fun afternoon with the Laws and their super fun pool. We had a fabulous time!

This handsome guy jumped right in within about two seconds and
never looked back. He loves swimming like nobody's business.

This darling girl enjoyed the water, but spent most of her time trying on
 all of the pool accessories. Fashion first and always for our Annie.

This cute boy acted practically allergic to the water for the first thirty minutes or so.
And then remembered he loves to swim. And adjusted accordingly.

And this sweet baby spent a lot of time in the shade, being his charming
and adorable self. He seemed to like the chair better than the water.

(He probably gets that from his dad. Or his mom. Either way.)

Beach pictures are the BEST!

As is spending the afternoon with cousins.

Photos I pulled off the kids' camera (part two)

She's about to sneeze, or the flash is too bright, or she's attempting to

catch a fly for dinner. It's like a Choose Your Own Adventure photo.

I've neglected to take a picture of our ceiling fan for so long. Phew, now I can rest easy.

Um, those legs are a little long for Ben don't you think? Once again, what is
it with my kids and capturing their disobedience to the rules on camera?

Finally, documentation on the kids' Wii obsession. Posterity will be so grateful. And another

of my crazy rules is being ignored. "No creepy Miis please!" The guy right under the hand?
Yeah, that would be categorized as creepy in my book.

I would be distraught if I was this red too.

Annie and Matt play this game where they try to take photos of the other person, as the
other person clearly tries to avoid the camera. After downloading the photos, it is like
a little Where's Waldo? for the family. Here is one just for your enjoyment. You're welcome.

Photos I pulled off the kids' camera (part one)

Now my mom won't have to go looking all over for a photo to show my first date.

I'm a little girl with a colored paper plate for a hat. And I'm dancing about it. Because I'm that cool.

A super tall tower built out of colorful blocks. That calls for a GQ pose. Times two. Perfect.

Um hello, I happen to be in the Witness Protection Program. Could you put that thing away already?

They say that the camera adds ten pounds. Kind of an issue with
 those of us that only weigh twenty-five to begin with.

I call this"I did something against the rules and decided to have a photo taken of it so my mom
could punish me later." I think I captured the moment perfectly. And now I'm in big trouble.

Some fishing and some hiking

Jacob and the three oldest went fishing and hiking with our fabulous friends from church today. And they had a great time. There were many fish caught and many excited kids. Jacob kept the girls on his side of the lake, while the bishop and the boys fished the other side of the lake. Annie was beyond excited to catch her first fish and apparently the princess pole is very attractive to the fish in this particular pond, because each of the girls had success with it. All of the kids are incredibly anxious to fish again very soon.

Afterwards, the whole group headed up to one of our favorite hiking spots and spent some time there. Jacob met up with one of his coworkers, his wife and their three darling kids and they all enjoyed hiking together. All in all, it was a fabulous day and the kids are excited to try it all again. And Ben and I are hoping his leg will be completely well by then and we can join them for the next go round.

Thanks Laws! You guys are fantastically fabulous!

Cool

The temperature didn't get above 70 degrees today. The humidity that has been
torturing us didn't show up. The windows are open and we are feeling a lovely breeze.
And this is how happy we are at our house right now...

Danny boy

Jacob's brother, Danny, is here visiting for a few days and we sure love having him.
He is seriously one of the funniest people I know and he is so easy and fun to have
around. The kids love playing games with him and he is so kind to spend so much
time with them. We are sad he is leaving tomorrow and hope he comes back soon.

Thanks for coming Danny boy! We love you!