Closing night...but I guess not really

Closing night. I don't have words for how amazing Annie was or what it did to
my heart. I was simultaneously so insanely proud of her and so incredibly
upset by the show. I guess you call that a successful performance.

And Annie came home with the news that their show was chosen out of all of
their high school one acts to perform at region! So, so happy for my darling girl.
She deserves every bit of it. But that doesn't keep me from feeling deeply
grateful that she and the cast are being recognized for their outstanding work.

These boys

This is Matt's tremendous group of friends. I could never put into words how hilarious they are,
how much I adore them or how hard they make me laugh on a regular basis. In this particular photo,
they were celebrating the birthday of that guy next to Matt. Hence the Christmas wrapping paper,
the clearance birthday cake and the goofy looks on their faces. Actually, that is always what they do
when a camera comes out. I made Matt smile normal, so he threw his weird thumbs up in the photo
out of rebellion, I imagine. These boys are honestly the greatest. I'm so grateful they have each
other. Even if they give each sour cream and dog leashes with stuffed dogs for their birthdays.

Wealthy

I just received this reimbursement check in the mail and I can't
quit daydreaming about all of the different ways I can spend it.

Oh the happy

When you work hard enough for several weeks and buy your own drone.

First talk

This sweet girl gave her first talk in Primary today. She did an amazing job. Her reading
was amazing and her testimony makes me teary. Sure love this little one and her goodness.

Our incredible Annie

This beautiful girl had a big night last night. She starred in a play at the high school and
I cannot get over how incredible it was or how she did. It was really difficult to watch, as
it is about the Holocaust, and every time I practiced her lines with her, it gave me a pit in
my stomach. Watching it was that much harder. But I reminded myself that sometimes
remembering is more important than being comfortable. I adore this incredible girl. She is
amazing and talented and mostly, just so good. It is such a privilege to be her mom.

(That purple ribbon is for International Holocaust Remembrance Day tomorrow.)

My Uncle Jim

 

My sweet grandma came from a family of 12 siblings. Most of them have passed
on, like my Gram, and today I had the privilege of attending her youngest brother's
funeral. It was sweet and good and I was more emotional than I expected, being
as it has been four months, almost to the day, since my Mom's funeral.

I mentioned to my Dad, while we were waiting for the service to begin, that I felt
like he was there representing my Mom and I was there representing my Gram.
His eyes filled with tears, and mine did also, and I wished with all my heart that
we could have been attending with them, rather than in their place.

What a happy reunion they all must be experiencing in heaven. It makes me thrilled for
them. And excited for the day, in so very many years, when I get to join their family party.

That last photo is of the two remaining siblings, my great-aunts. I'm so grateful for them. 

Six months

My sweet boy. Today marks six months since he left. There is nothing like having a

missionary out. A part of my heart resides more than 5000 miles away and I can feel that

all day, every day. He is in my prayers constantly and his letters and pictures make my

entire week. I miss him with every part of me and yet, wouldn't want him any other place.

Six months down, eighteen more to go. I love this son of mine something fierce.

Fashion statement...or something

Just headed to his weekly Wednesday night basketball game. Obviously.

Overachievers

Just headed out to pick up junior high carpool and
as you can clearly see, we are winning at life today.

My favorite books of 2018

I just looked at my past posts and realized this is the eighth year I've shared my favorite books. That is pretty crazy to me. For those that continue to care and ask about my favorites, I'm glad to keep going. Thanks, kind friends.

And no surprise, for the eighth year in a row, I have the same favorite book. The others aren't in any particular order, but the first one will always be first. I love it so.

The Book of Mormon
I had some remarkable experiences with this sacred book this year. I shared them here and here. I think about them often and feel so much gratitude for this book the I love with all of my heart and that I read more than any other book in my life. It truly testifies of Jesus Christ and consistently reading parts of it and having them in my mind, on a regular basis, changes who I am. I'm so blessed to know of this book and to read it constantly.

Educated
Holy frijoles people, this book. I couldn't put it down, couldn't quit thinking about it after I finished and whenever I see that anyone has read it, I want to talk with them for three hours about their thoughts. It was just that mind blowing to me. What do I say, except read it if you haven't. It is a hard read, but absolutely worth it, in my opinion.

Where There's Hope
I admire Elizabeth Smart more than I could ever say, considering what has happened to her and how she has chosen to come out on top of it all, but this book blew me away. It sure made me want to handle life better and I loved everything about it.

The War That Saved My Life
This is a book for youth that I sincerely believe everyone should read. It had depth to it that I certainly wasn't expecting, never mention how much I related to parts of this book. I could read it many more times and still get more out of it than I did the first time. Every person I've recommended it to, has really loved it. So there's that.

Romancing Daphne
Oh Sarah Eden and her Regency Romances are kind of the best. This one is not exception. I loved it.

Okay For Now
Another book for youth that everyone should read. It is a hard one for sure (it is a clean book, but the topic is difficult) and I couldn't put it down, just wanting so much for something good to happen to this boy. I highly recommend this one.

Sisters First
I am enthralled and fascinated by the Bush family (and not just because Jacob has more photos with several members of their family than I think he has with me). I've just always watched them with admiration and loved reading books about each of them. And this was no different. I liked it a lot.

Lost in the Sun
Apparently youth books were my thing this past year. This one had a different story line that I really enjoyed (as much as you can enjoy some terrible happening to someone). It is a good one, folks.

Well, there you go. I finally wrote this post before the end of January, which is kind of miracle the way this month was going. Hopefully it is helpful in some way to others. Thanks friends. Happy reading!

Sweetest pup in all the land

This is getting a tad ridiculous

So would it take seven or eight floods (all from different causes) in a single home
before one would throw their hands up in the air and give up? Asking for a friend.

Basketball fun

Matt and his rec basketball team are seriously the best. They are the funniest
group of boys I have ever known and watching them play ball is pretty fantastic.
I sure love this boy of mine and am grateful for his tremendous friends.

Little smarty pants

The light went on today and seeing her begin to really get reading makes me so happy.
I keep teasing her that she can't grow up this fast, but deep down, I'm not sure I'm completely teasing.

My darling boy

His first week as a senior companion went well. He is healthy and happy and as funny as ever.
I miss, miss miss him, but wouldn't want him anywhere else, but where he is most happy
and content and consistently pushed outside of his comfort zone, at this time in his life.

"Let us all press on knowing that He knows everything and He will help us to know enough.
We just have to trust in Him, in His power, in His glory and in His plan for us."

~Elder Campbell Allen

My girls

Lorri's celebration

In very few minutes, the service to celebrate Lorri's life will begin. I knew I couldn't
make the trip out east again, with taking care of the kids and this time of the year, but I
wish I could have. Not just for Lorri, gratefully she knows how I feel, but to be there
with so many wonderful people I adore, remembering the greatness of someone
who made a huge difference in the world. That is hard to miss.

But I didn't miss the last many years of her life. Or miss watching with awe as she
quietly and calmly, but with fierce determination, served and served and served and
served. Paraphrasing what a friend of mine said, "she saved an entire generation
of youth." I actually believe it was more than one generation. But either way, she
is the reason so many children and young women and young men know their
Heavenly Father loves them. What a legacy, what a daughter of God.

That, indeed, is reason to celebrate today.

And she rambles

Three random things I'm thinking about when I should be sleeping...

1. Yesterday at the temple, it took me almost 20 minutes to find a parking spot. Above ground parking was full, street parking was full and below ground parking was full. I finally creepily followed three ladies (driving two miles an hour, no exaggeration), who were just coming out of the temple, to take their space. They had the last one in the entire garage. I kid you not. The very last one. Next to a trailer of some sorts. I barely fit into it. And had to shimmy out of the passenger side because the trailer wheel kept my own door from opening. Isn't that the greatest problem? The Lord must have been so happy to have so many of His children serving/being served in His temple yesterday.

2. I ordered 15 kitchen brushes today. Fifteen, folks. Sweet waffles, I have me some issues. I am super picky about my sink brushes and have searched high and low for the ones I always use and they are nowhere to be found. So when I finally found them in some strange hiding place on the Walmart website, I stocked up. And got some free shipping in the meantime. I'm even embarrassed for myself.

3. I'm literally falling apart. I'm not kidding. As in, I expect to find pieces of me left in my wake, any second now. I have that ridiculous sinus infection, plantar fasciitis in my right foot (was gone, now back), some crazy joint pain in my left knee from some strength exercises last week, a stunned nerve in my left elbow (I'm not even going to tell you how I got that one--clumsy old lady, party of one?) that hurts like the dickens, a cold sore and apparently I now have something called labyrinthitis. No, I didn't just make up that name. My world is turning right round, baby, right round. Add my overachieving brain that gifts me with extra spinal fluid and my sweet friend passing away on Sunday and 2019 is looking mighty bright and hopeful. Seriously 2018, you contagious or something?

This is my sacred duty

I have never had a more sacred, beautiful experience than I had in the temple today. God is good.
Revelation is real. And being a disciple of Jesus Christ is the greatest privilege I've ever been given.

When you get on your knees and plead, "Father in Heaven, please let my love for Thee
be greater than the depth of my hurt and heartache" and then sit in the temple and weep
because you are so overwhelmed with that prayer being answered so quickly and so
abundantly, you know God loves His children. And not just me. Every single one of us.

 

I love that my mom's grave is only seconds away from the temple.

Elder Allen's missionary wall

I love it so.

My sweet friend

She's gone. One of my dearest friends passed away this morning from cancer. Exactly three months ago today, she left me a message to let me know of her diagnosis and this morning, she took her last breath and returned home to that God who gave her life.

When she let me know she had been diagnosed with cancer, her worry was about how hard it would be for me to hear the news. She had waited a short while to share with me, because just days earlier, my mom had died from cancer, and she was concerned how I would feel when she told me. That is so her, never worried for herself, only for others.

I have so many thoughts rolling around in my head today. The news that she would shortly be graduating this mortal life came quickly and it still doesn't make sense in my head or heart. Maybe I'll share later some of those thoughts and the kindness of our Father in Heaven surrounding the last three days. Until then, this world seems less bright without Lorri in it and I feel a little lost at the thought of her not being there for me to reach out to. But heaven is so lucky to have her. There is no one I know who deserves the glory of heaven more than Lorri. No one. And picturing that on this snowy, cold, heartbreaking day helps a lot.

I love you my sweet friend. Thank you for the privilege of your friendship the past
many years and into eternity. Like it or not, you're not getting rid of me very easily.

Sickness and chocolate, but not related

Bad news: an InstaCare doctor just let me know that I have a massive sinus infection that's been going so long it has messed up my ears, my throat and even my lungs a bit.

Good news: nothing's coming to mind, I'll get back to you in a few days.

You can't sense my grumpiness can you? Because I'm fine. I'm fine.

All joking aside, I really am. Just anxious not to feel so crummy every second.

  

Well, I thought of some good news. Okay fine, just news. Which is pretty lame to share (to say the least), but I don't know when that has ever stopped me. And I remembered said news by seeing this bottle of chocolate milk in our pantry fridge, waiting to be given to my dad for his birthday tomorrow.

Remember when I went off of chocolate for three years? And then, early last year started eating it again (for a particular reason that ended up not even working that well with a health issue I had)? Well, I lasted almost a year (it was a tasty year to be sure), but I'm saying goodbye to that brown deliciousness again, hopefully for even longer than the first duration.

It's already been almost two weeks off for me and for some reason, it doesn't seem like a big deal. (Imagine my surprise.) I really just think I feel better when I don't eat it. I'm not a dieter. (If you just said you could have told me that, you are super rude. Yet accurate. Yet rude.) But no chocolate in my life is just something I found that makes me think more clearly, have less teenager skin and feel better in general. So here we go. Again.

What say ye? Five to seven years without probation? I'll give it a try.

Turning eleven

Oh my darling boy, you are so incredibly loved. Eleven years ago, this very day, you joined our
family and we can't imagine life without you. You are hilarious, brilliant, athletic, close to the Spirit
and amazing in every way. Happiest Birthday Benjamin Jay! We are so grateful you are ours.

Coolness

He's seriously one of the coolest kids I've ever known.