Leadership

This past Friday night, we were at the elementary school for an activity for Annie and were all waiting in line outside to get into the school. Matt had found several of his friends and they were running races off to the side to entertain themselves during the wait. I looked over a few times and noticed Matt seemed to be the one deciding the details of all of the races.

I shook my head and teasingly said to Campbell, "Good gravy, we have bossy kids."

Cam smiled and replied, "And that is why we are so great."

I responded, "You all are great, but I don't think it is because you are bossy."

To which Cam replied, "Actually Mom, I prefer not to call it bossy. I prefer to call it leadership."

This man

This man is one incredible soccer coach. And one incredible dad.
And one incredible husband. But mostly, one incredible person.

How I love him.

Nate's last sideline soccer season in MA

Ben's last soccer season in MA

Matt's last soccer season in MA

Annie's last soccer season in MA

Cam's last soccer season in MA

Water boy...

...to the rescue. Younger brothers are the best!

Long day

The second half of the third, straight soccer game. His turn starts next week. He's a little excited.

Remind you of anything?

LaLaLaLa...LaLaLaLa...

Someone has a slight obsession (kind of like his big brother).
And someone's mother couldn't help but make a totally frivolous purchase.

But look at his face? Wasn't that worth a few dollars?

Love this boy.

Star rank

Last night, we all attended a Court of Honor for Campbell's scout group. Cam was awarded his Star (as well as several merit badges) and we were pretty proud of him for sure.

Sitting at the meeting with these people that have been a part of our lives for almost five years, made me realize once again, how very much we will miss these leaders, these group of young men and their parents.

 

One more bit of big news

I've been planning this post for a while. But after what happened yesterday, it seems kind of small and insignificant. Yet, I have to remember it is a big deal to our little family and we at least wanted to share.

After an unexpected prompting last fall, and many months of fasting and prayer, our little family is moving to Utah. Yes, the state where Jacob and I both grew up, but have been away from for almost eleven years.

Surprising to some, it has been a difficult decision for several reasons. One of those being that with Jacob as the bishop, we didn't take leaving lightly, to say the least. And yet, the Lord let us know over and over, that this is right for us right now, for some reason.

And so, next month, we will pack everything we own and move back to where we started. We are excited, scared, thrilled, sad and grateful. Grateful to know what is best for our family and grateful for these almost five years in Massachusetts. They have changed me more than any other time in my life and I am a different person than I was when I arrived here many years ago. And for that reason, I will be forever thankful to have lived in New England.

To all of our friends here in the Boston area, how we will miss you.
Thank you for your friendship.

To all of our friends in Utah, what a blessing to live back by you again.
Thank you for your friendship.

And to all of our friends who live somewhere in between and
not so in between, you have blessed our lives.
Thank you for your friendship.

Well then, here we go. As they say, nothing is more constant than change.

And the blessings of the Lord. (I don't know if they say that last part, but they should.)

Oh, and if I haven't mentioned it, thank you all for your friendship. We are so grateful.

Marathon Monday

This morning started lazily and happily, thanks to spring break here in the Boston area. Jacob left for work and the rest of us sat around in our pajamas, grateful not to have anything we had to do or anywhere we had to go. The Boston Marathon has become a tradition for us to watch and we decided to turn on the television to watch some of the stories before it officially began. Years ago, we tried the trek up to Boston to watch, but decided that wasn't for us. The energy of being there is pretty amazing, but we prefer to be where we can actually see what is going on. Plus, no one we knew well was running it, so watching it on TV was the plan.

Oh man, I love hearing the stories of those running the marathon. The man whose mother had leukemia and he was running to raise money for the hospital she was a patient in. When we turned on the television early, he had already run the race from the finish line to the starting line and was now going to run it again, from the starting line to the finish line. Absolutely incredible.

The elite group of men and women who not only run 26.2 miles, but run it in a time that does not even register in my brain as something possible to do. They have spent their lives focused on running and they are the best in the world. It is something else to watch.

And then there was the group from Newtown, Connecticut. As I watched this group of people who were running "26 miles for 26 lives" my eyes welled up with tears. They had lost 20 of their children and 6 of their educators to a senseless act of violence. And here they were to honor those lives by running a mile for each of them. As the officials at the race announced there would be 26 seconds of silence for those in Newtown, my children instantly became silent. Even the youngest. And I sat with tears falling down my face, praying for those that had been through something so hard and so awful. What an incredible tribute to those that they lost in this life.

And then the races began. The wheelchair race first and then the elite women and then the men. And finally the waves of incredible marathon runners began. We continued to watch and be amazed by the human spirit and what the human body can do. It was pretty amazing.

A couple of hours later, we finally knew it was time to move on with our day and we started getting dressed and doing our chores around the house. We still felt happy and only a little less lazy.

Just before three pm, my cell phone rang. Jacob was at his office just over a block from the finish line. He had gone out earlier to watch the runners and was back inside working again. He had called to see how we were all doing. We were in the middle of our conversation when he stopped and said, "What in the world?!....Our building just shook. Linn, it feels like an explosion just happened! I'll call you right back."

I can tell you, I didn't especially want to be disconnected and to wait for a call back, but I hung up, wondering and worrying. In my heart, I felt Jacob would be okay (or maybe just hoped so very much), but deep down, something felt really wrong. I don't know why, but I knew something serious had happened.

After several minutes of sitting and praying, my phone rang again. Jacob told me that they were not sure what was happening, but that emergency workers were running down the marathon route, that ambulances were everywhere and that runners had been stopped. "Linn, I think someone set off some bombs by the finish line."

All I could think, after making sure that he was completely okay, as well as everyone at his work, was "What is the matter with people? Who could do such a thing?" and "How much more can the people of Newtown handle?" But I quickly put the thoughts aside in order to focus on keeping calm and getting Jacob away from what was happening and home safe.

It took a long time for that to happen. Getting home was no small feat. I told him to please just take a taxi and stay away from public transportation. (I offered to go get him, but he said there was no way in the world I would make it into Boston and that he didn't want any of us near what was happening.) He said that he truly felt he would be fine and he would call when he figured out a way to make it to the train station. Oh friends, I really did feel that he would be fine (or again, maybe just hoped with all of my heart), but those couple of hours were so very long.

I kept it together when talking to my kids, but being pregnant does not help my emotions, especially when the news started trickling in about what had happened. I just couldn't wrap my mind around it. It was beyond anything I could understand. And those people who had been killed or seriously injured...it felt like too much to even comprehend.

I did tell the kids that someone had set off a couple of bombs at the Boston Marathon and that while their dad had felt them, he was okay and he was coming home. That there were many that were seriously injured and we needed to pray for them. And that while their dad would be fine, we needed to pray for him, that he would be safe and that he would be directed on how best to get home. I don't want to share anything that feels it is just for my own heart, so I will just say that I will never forget how my kids immediately went to their knees. And knowing I couldn't be the voice of the prayer without getting emotional and worrying them, I asked my oldest to pray. I will forever remember what he said and how sincerely he prayed and the feeling we felt kneeling in our family room together, pleading for our dad and for those that had been hurt. I will never forget it. Nor do I ever want to.

Within about 30 or 40 minutes, Jacob let me know he had made it to the train and that he was waiting for the next one home. I asked him to pray hard to make sure he felt right about it, but then to get on the next train out of Boston, even if it wasn't coming straight to our little town. We just needed him out of Boston and closer to us. He called a little while later to say he was on a train that would come to the town next to us. We jumped in the car and left to go get him. My heart felt overwhelmed with gratitude and sadness at the same time.

When I drove up to the train station and saw him, I felt like I could breathe again for the first time in several hours. Although, I honestly don't think the full weight of what happened hit me until much later. I think it hit both of us much later, especially Jacob. He had seen and felt some terrible things and while he is one to always remain calm, I think the reality of being that close to something so horrific shook him quite a bit. It has been a pretty quiet evening. Just sitting together and trying hard not to think too much.

And as grateful as my heart is, and it is beyond grateful, it feels heavy and a bit broken. Today was a sad day for the people of Massachusetts. We are so thankful that many we know and love are okay (we were able to confirm that everyone in our ward was safe, as well as in our stake), but many who are known and loved by others are not. And the reason feels so terrible.

As I prayed and prayed yesterday, I tried to focus on the peace that I know our Heavenly Father is willing to send each of us and the knowledge that He is in charge and He will bless us in spite of, actually because of, our grief and pain. And yet, at the same time I felt His peace, I felt something that I have felt only a few times in my life. I felt His tears at all of our tears. I felt His sorrow for what some of His children are capable of doing. And I felt His protectiveness and love for each of us. Especially, at this time, for those that are consumed with worry and heartache. And while I don't understand everything, especially something like what happened a few hours ago at the finish line to a marathon, I felt like I didn't have to. I could let Him carry that knowledge and feel peace at the knowledge that His ability to make all things right in the end is all I needed.

My responsibility is to increase my prayers for so many who did not get the same result that we got yesterday. And to never stop being grateful for what I have been given. And mostly, to trust Him. In spite of bombs and guns and worry and heartache and just the hard of this world. Yes, the finish line to the Boston marathon signifies something absolutely incredible was just accomplished. But after this morning, it will now signify to me that in spite of what some are capable of doing, the Lord is capable of doing so much more.

And that is enough for now.

More than enough.

My grandma

This is my sweet grandma. Could anyone be any more cute? I think not. She and I talk nearly every day. And when I say every day, I mean every day. Eleven years ago this June, my grandpa passed away, and almost every single day since then, we have talked on the phone. I love her so much and am so incredibly grateful for her. She has always been there for me.

Today when we returned home from church, there was a message from my uncle, telling me that my grandma was in the hospital. He said that she had had congestive heart failure last night and they had taken her to the emergency room. And that she was doing much better today. Apparently I didn't know what congestive heart failure actually was, because I literally thought my heart had stopped when I heard what he said. And while congestive heart failure isn't a good thing, it, gratefully, wasn't as bad as I had first imagined.

I called my grandma, who was resting in her hospital room, and started crying the moment I heard her voice. I was so very worried about her, I was so grateful she was okay and I was so sad to be so far away and not be able to be with her. But she is going to be fine. And I am thankful beyond words.

I love you Gram! I'm so grateful you are okay. Thanks for being the best grandma ever.

Ben's 5th birthday party

Ben's 5th birthday friend party finally happened! His birthday was clear back in January, but he wanted to wait until the weather was warm enough to have it in our back yard. I think we were all glad he waited as we had a fabulous time!

We decided long ago that our kids would only get friend birthday parties at certain ages, so this was Ben's first, and he was really excited. Ben wanted to invite all of his friends from preschool and most everyone was able to make it. The general theme was animals and we had a fun animal hunt (using photos rather than real animals, just for the record), sticker tag and pin the snout on the alligator. We opened presents from his kind friends and then had birthday cupcakes. His little friends were so cute and it was just a happy day for Ben and for all of us.

The day was a perfect one, even though rain was predicted all week for the day of his party. But Ben decided to pray hard it wouldn't rain and not only was there not a single drop, but it ended up being the most beautiful day of the whole year. It seemed like a small thing, but it wasn't--at least for this mom.

How we love our sweet Benjamin! And are so grateful he had such a happy party!

Cub scout awards

Matt had his first court of honor since becoming a cub scout last year
and was awarded both his Bobcat and Wolf badge during it. He also earned
one Gold Arrow Point and two Silver Arrow Points. He has worked so
hard at his scouting and it is so fun to see how excited he gets by it.

 

We sure love this Matt boy of ours!