Another round of wisdom teeth

There are four less wisdom teeth in this boy's mouth today. It was super quick
and went well. Grateful he is feeling quite good tonight. Less grateful he
didn't act even slightly loopy from the anesthesia. Zero for three. Bummer.

Sacred and hard

I watched my greatest fear play out in the lives of our sweet friends this morning. Yet even with shattered hearts, their grace, goodness, vulnerability, honesty, light and mostly, their love, shined through. It was absolutely incredible to watch. And I couldn't quit weeping.

Do I know that their boy is safe and happy and protected and with his Father in Heaven and his Savior? Without question. Do I know that eventually every tear will be dried and all of this will be made okay in the end? Without a doubt.

And yet.

Even alongside that knowledge, this feels too hard. Like too much to ask of anyone and too much for a mother and a father and siblings and friends to have to lose. It feels heart-obliterating and life-altering and makes mortality seem cruel and cold and not worth living.

I believe those two truths can coexist. That this terrible tragedy doesn't need to be fixed or the perfect words shared or our friends told to focus only on the eventual good. We can trust God and still feel pain and hurt, the likes of which we didn't know was possible.

And that is why I sat in a room full of people today, all of us weeping together. Because God is good AND this incredible young man is no longer on earth. Because the Savior overcoming death means everything will eventually made right AND life feels so very long for Isaac's family right now. Because heaven is real AND losing a child feels like a version of hell here on earth.

Today was beautifully sacred and heartbreakingly hard. I'm so grateful for a God who knows we feel both and loves us through it all. And allows us to mourn with others when it matters the most. I was changed during the celebration of Isaac today. And I pray I let that change always remain with me.

Our trip to Powell

Seven days in Lake Powell. Twenty-one kids, eight parents, 183 sandwiches and 96 dangerous

jumps, flips and flops attempted. It was the best. We are home now and doing laundry like
professionals. Pictures coming soon. But let's not pretend like you didn't know that.

My sweet Mom

The sweetest picture of my darling mom. Today was such an odd day. I thought of her dozens
of times and wished deeply for one more moment to hug her, tell her I love her and to have her
near, even for only a second. Our third birthday without her here with us and it's still just as surreal.  

Happy Birthday my sweet Mom. One year closer.

My sweet girl doing what she loves most

Pure magic

I know I keep saying it, but this Narnia performance really was incredible. I knew it would be

amazing, but it blew any expectations I had out of the water. And the fact that I got to photograph
it was truly just an honor. The setting, the lightning, the dancers...it was just pure magic.

I wish I could share all of my favorite photos, but that would take a whole lot of posts.
So I'll settle for these ten. And be happy that I sent on the others to @illumedancecompany's
owners, teachers, dancers, students and parents. I hope they find as much joy in them as I did.
Because they represent a whole lot of talent, hard work, beauty, goodness and joy. And magic.

Have I mentioned the magic?

Gracie girl and her darling siblings

This darling little love danced in four performances of Narnia
the last two days and it was truly magical! I wish every one of you
could have seen it, as it was so well done, I'm still just blown away.

And Gracie girl was incredible. Not to mention that she loved
it so much, I thought my momma's heart would burst.

It was a wonderful couple of days. And I'm sure grateful for these kids of mine
and how well they support each other and how sweetly they love their little sister.

Oh, and you'd better believe I have some more pictures coming.
Both of our girl and a few of the performance in general. I was asked
to photograph it and it was one of my favorite jobs to date.

Stay tuned darling friends. More loveliness headed your way.

Les Misérables (again)

Last night I was able to see Les Mis again. But this time with my sweet Dad.
I took him for Father's Day and it was one of my favorite nights in a long time.

I think the play was even better the second time and being there with one of my greatest
heroes just made me think so much more about the storyline and the beauty of the truths
shared. And that last scene (pictured) had me in tears. Because it is gorgeous and touching,
but mostly because it feels like my Dad and I recently did something similar with my sweet
Mom. He and I were the last two people to be with her in mortality and I walked out of their
home, less than five minutes before she died, to let my Dad have that experience with her
alone. It was the hardest thing I've done in this life, but I've never regretted giving him that gift.

And just as a side note, listening to Bring Him Home when my girl is about
to leave on her mission is brutal. It was hard the first time, worse the second.
Because my brain automatically changes the "him" to "her" and it just about
does me in. I'll leave it at that, but oh how I'll miss her. And pray constantly that
my God will bring her home to me safe and happy and the second it is right.

It was a good night. Just a really good night.

Vaccines and busy days

What a ridiculously crazy day. All good things that happened, but man was it full.

I'll mention this darling boy first, even if his vaccination wasn't first in
our day. But did you just catch that? This boy was vaccinated this afternoon.
His second shot to be exact. And now our family is officially and completely
finished with our COVID shots. Again. And I'm super happy about it.

Before this momentous moment, I spent the first half of the day taking Narnia pictures for
the dress rehearsal today (so counting the seconds until tomorrow evening) and attending
the funeral of our sweet Aunt Julie's dad (her darling mom passed away just 47 days ago).

And then this evening...oh my word, the joy. Coming soon to a post near you folks.

The Oramigos

These six incredible friends were back together again, for a night, last week. It has been
a long time since this happened and this picture did something to my heart. Love that boy
of ours, and his tremendous friends, a whole lot. So much goodness in one tiny square.

Darling boys and gratitude

This sweet boy, just after his allergy elimination appointment a few days ago.
We haven't been in years, but something else popped up and I was so grateful to
know we had an option of how to make things better. Oh I love this boy and am
so grateful for our chiropractor and how he has honestly changed Nate's life.

When I think about how bad things were a few years ago and how strongly I believe they
would have compounded and quickly become unmanageable, I just feel so thankful that my
stubborn personality gave something a try that I absolutely didn't believe in. Only so I could
know I had tried everything for our boy. Oh, and so I could prove it was all ridiculousness.
.
Fortunately, I was so very wrong. And am grateful every single day for that fact.

I sure love our incredible Nathan Grant. And how life is so much better for him
than it would have been otherwise, thanks to an amazing man Nate continues to
call his "best friend," no matter how many years occur between appointments.
If that's not the cutest thing you've ever heard in your life, I don't know what is.

Our Father's Day

Today is Father's Day at our house. Due to our busy schedule next week, we couldn't celebrate Jacob like we wanted on the real FD, so today was his special day. And oh man, we are just so grateful for him.

I love these two pictures of our kids' incredible dad. He is adventurous and fun and hard working and exciting and always ready to be there alongside them for what matters most to them and what matters most in life.

And that picture on the right.

Always coaching (and I'm not just talking about soccer), encouraging, cheering, pushing them to grow and learn and excel and stretch, just being there whenever they need him. And mostly, guiding them with his powerful testimony and his love of God and our Savior.

Oh we are thankful for Jacob Allen at our house. Really, really thankful. And were so honored to celebrate him today.

Happy {Early} Father's Day Jacob Ethan! Thank you the dad you choose to be that blesses every single one of our children on a daily basis. I'm so thankful, the kids are so thankful and I've felt all day, that our Father in Heaven is so thankful. And so proud of how you take care of His children, so very well.

Half marathons and PRs

A really cool guy I know ran a race this morning, very early in the AM.

A half marathon to be exact. And got a PR. You know, as you do. He's amazing,

this guy I know. I'm super impressed with him. And happen to love him a whole lot.

Les Misérables

Jacob and I saw Les Mis at Hale Center Theatre last evening and no words,

only a rush of incredible feelings and emotions and breathlessness.

My children and their lack of cavities + entertaining photos

These little monkeys went to the dentist today and the result was no cavities. That is my favorite
kind of visit for sure. So I told them I wanted to take a picture of their awesomeness.

 
Afterwards, I remembered that Matt and Ben visited the dentist yesterday and they also had
a lack of cavities. So as a joke, I asked them if they wanted a picture taken for their grand
achievement. And to my surprise, they said yes. Although I'm pretty sure they were also joking.
But to humor their mother, they decided to take a photo imitating their younger siblings.

And...you're welcome.

Sweetest little love

Sweetest little love right before one of her rehearsals for the Narnia dance
performance she will be in next week. With that natural spotlight shining down on
our girl. As it should. She is something else and I'm so honored to be her momma.

And speaking of people that are something else, I love the company Grace dances
with so very much. They are truly incredible with technique and teaching and helping
the girls to grow and progress. But that they choose not to focus on these little wonders
trying to get attention with their bodies (through certain makeup, costumes or
provocative moves), but rather, choose to see our bodies (rightly so) as an instrument
and something to be celebrated and enjoyed in its goodness, simplicity and power.

I truly couldn't more grateful for good people, incredible companies and my darling chicklets.
The combination does something to my heart. As does that fact that in a few short days,
I'm going to see this incredible girl dance in a performance she loves. I cannot wait.

My grandpa

Twenty years without one of my greatest heroes. I still miss his kindness, positivity, hilarious
teasing, silly rhymes, pure goodness and unconditional love nearly everyday. It is an absolute
honor to be named after him. And one day, I will run into his arms and tell him what I did with
his name, how proud I was to carry it and how much I missed him for far too long. I would give
almost anything today to hear his voice one more time, exclaiming, "Well hello there my honey!"

My grandpa, my hero, my guardian angel.

Outstanding plays and incredible girls

Tonight, Annie and I went to Daddy Long Legs at Hale Center Theatre.
We invited Annie's darling roommate (from last semester) and her mom to join us
and I'm so sad I didn't get a picture of all of us. They were truly so fun to be around.

And this play. Oh my word, I loved it so much I can't even stand it.
I literally couldn't quit smiling. It was just outstanding in a thousand ways.

But mostly, mostly, spending time with my girl before she leaves on her mission is my
absolute favorite thing of late. I almost can't talk about it to others or even her (yes, I can
talk about the mission part, but not the leaving part, it about stops my heart when I even
imagine it) because I'll miss her so much. I don't know how to do this again. Especially with
my Annie girl. So nights like last night are just the best and so good for my momma's heart.

Just like that oldest girl of ours.

And clearly, just like me and my ability to pull cute and natural
faces when we take a picture together. Good grief.

Artsy pics and this darling boy

This kid is something else. He went to Bear Lake this weekend with some friends and
a friend's family and when he got home, I asked if he would please send me a picture
that I could use, just to make sure this fun trip was included in our family history.

And clearly, he made that happen for me. Minus the "clear"ly part.

All joking aside, the picture is pretty cool in my opinion. But not nearly as
cool as the incredible boy in it. I just love him something ridiculous. And think
being Matt Allen's mom is a really great gig. Artsy lake photos and all.

Missing this boy

I asked this darling son of mine to send me a picture because "I missed his face."
Oh, he is good to his mom. And so handsome and obedient. I just really adore him.

He loves where he lives, his roommates and friends, his new job and just life
in general. It isn't perfect, and it isn't supposed to be, but man he does it well.
He's beyond positive, beyond extroverted, beyond hilarious, beyond amazing.

I would feel outrageously blessed just to know him and to be called his friend,
never name the honor of being his mom. I'm a fan of this oldest child of mine.

Summer and swim lessons

Nothing says the beginning of summer, quite like swimming lessons. So grateful

for the best teachers, best program, best location. We are huge fans for sure.

IKEA wear

 Remember when a certain daughter of mine used IKEA bags to make herself some lovely
(and loud) blue pants? Well, apparently what those pants needed was a hooded jacket to make
them complete. And so that is exactly what this amazing seamstress made. Oh my word, I love
her creative, hilarious, fabulous self so crazy much. She's tremendous, this Annie girl of ours.

Otra vez

And because it wasn't fun enough the first time, Ben decided to break his wrist again last
night. The same left one, again while playing soccer, just twenty months later. He's even
sporting an identical black brace, only larger this time because he's grown so much.

I would have bet cold hard cash that it wasn't broken before the doctor came in, because Ben
was handling it so well and being so positive, even though it really hurt. But alas, I was wrong.

And so, here we go. This darling boy of ours, so amazing and funny and brave and willing to deal
with whatever comes his way, even though I know this isn't easy. I learn from him every single day.