My New Life

I cannot imagine a more beautiful tribute to motherhood.

I loved this video.

Photo taken from this post on Stephanie's blog.

One of my motherhood heroes

"We women have a lot to learn about simplifying our lives. We have to decide what
is important and then move along at a pace that is comfortable for us. We have to
develop the maturity to stop trying to prove something. We have to learn to be content
with what we are. Don't dwell on your failures, but think about your successes."

~ Marjorie Pay Hinckley

Being a mother

With Mother's Day coming soon, I wanted to share a few posts in the next few days about the privilege of being a mother. (I guess I already started it with yesterday's post. Oh, how I love those kids.) But before I do that, I just wanted to record some thoughts I have had lately.

I have often heard that Mother's Day is a difficult holiday for many. That breaks my heart. I feel grateful that is not the case for me. And believe me, it has nothing to do with my capabilities as a mother. I'm not sure of the exact reason, but if I had to guess I would say that it is a few things.

Gratefully, I have not suffered the loss of my own wonderful mom. I can't imagine what that would be like and how that would completely change the day for me. Devastating isn't a strong enough word.

I also suppose, that while I know I fall short in so many areas as a mom, I have to cling to the hope that I am doing the best I can, and that I love my four little souls so much it sometimes takes my breath away. And that has to be enough. It just has to. It doesn't give me reason to quit trying or not want to be better, but it does give me reason to do my best, and leave the remainder up to the only One who is worthy and able to take it.

And mostly, because being a mother is such a tremendous privilege to me, I just have to choose to be grateful, instead of wasting my time reminding myself of how inadequate I can be at what I do. Some events in the recent weeks have shown me that it is nothing less than a miracle that I have four little ones. I have to show the Lord, as often as possible, how truly grateful I am for each of those beautiful miracles.

That being said, my heart aches for those that struggle on Mother's Day, because there are so many reasons for that struggle--not just because of insecurities, or sadness, or horrible injustices, or loss, or wanting to be a mother so badly it hurts. It is complicated. And completely individual. And no one person knows how another is feeling, no matter the similarities in the situation. And so, I guess what is most important for me to say is this.

With all of my heart I believe that our Heavenly Father loves His daughters. With a love that is only for them and that is deeper than you or I or anyone on this earth can truly comprehend. Whether we are wives, mothers, daughters, aunts, sisters, friends or a combination of each, we are His. And His love is astounding. I have been blessed with a few quiet moments of late, when a small part of that reality has been witnessed to me, and I will be forever grateful. I wish so much every woman on this earth could feel that. It would change them. And they would be easier on themselves. And on others.

So my hope for this Mother's Day is that you...I...everyone... would know that you are loved.

Because you are.

And that you are enough.

Because you are.

And that you are His.

Because you are.

Mine

Speaking of being jealous...

I was asked yesterday to speak in our upcoming stake conference in two weeks.
I can just feel all of you turning green with envy. I've turned green also. But for a
different reason. Have mercy. Am I the only one that never imagined being asked
such a thing? Please say no. Oh, and if your envy is just too great, come on by.
I'm sure I can convince them to accept substitutions.
Especially considering their current plan.

Boiling

Oh boy, I bet you are jealous.

Gratitude

The last few days I have been feeling particularly overwhelmed with gratitude for those that
serve our country. I don't even have words for how much I appreciate their sacrifice and for
what I have because of them. I take every opportunity I can to teach our children that we
should always acknowledge what they have done and are currently doing. This morning,
I watched this video and sat and cried for all of those that have sacrificed so much for us.

For those that actually serve, and for those that stay at home so they can,
please know I am so incredibly grateful And that you are always in my prayers.

Jack Sparrow would be so proud

As I walked into the family room a few minutes ago,
Ben greeted me with a swing of the arm and an exuberant,

"Hey Ho Matey!"

Okay then. Apparently our two-year old has been studying pirate when I wasn't paying attention.

Growing up

I knew it was coming, but he still seems so much like my little baby.
Makes me a little sad and a lot proud—all at the same time.

Miles for Madey

I have some darling friends who have a daughter with cancer. Just typing that sentence makes me emotional and puts a pit in my stomach. She is a basketball star at her junior high, has a heart that is absolutely incredible and is an amazing fighter. Today, a fun run and silent auction is being held for this sweet girl and her family. Unfortunately, it is in Utah and I am not.

But I woke up with morning thinking about the "Miles for Madey" and wanting to be a part of it somehow. And so, even though it is something pretty small and inconsequential, I ran a 5K for Madey this morning. And prayed throughout the entire time that somehow, her family would know how many are thinking of them, supporting them and praying for them.

And mostly, that Madey would know how many love her and feel like it is a privilege to pray for her every single day. She inspires me in ways that I could never put into words and I'm so grateful to watch her story and remember what truly matters in life.

Sure thinking of you today...and always...Madey! What a blessing you are to so many.

I loved today

Powerful beyond words

This video is powerful beyond words. You will not regret taking the time to watch it.

Scissors

Before

After

Race day

This is how someone feels about participating in another Pinewood Derby.

Easter joy

Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives:

"I know that my Redeemer lives!"

I say it every six months

And I mean it each time.

I love General Conference.

I am so grateful for prophets.

This coming weekend

I can't wait to spend Saturday and Sunday with my family,
listening to General Conference. I'm so blessed.

Tender mercies

This video is, without question, one of my favorite messages the Church has ever produced.  

I believe we are tied, Mr. President

As of this second, President Obama and I have the same number of points earned on our NCAA tournament bracket.

You know what would have been interesting? If the success of the health care bill had depended on the success of President Obama's March Madness bracket. Now I call that entertaining politics.

Counting the seconds until tomorrow

This has been the best March Madness in years.

Oh please, let it continue being so much fun to watch.

The Lord's Prayer

My word, this is powerful and beautiful. I hope you love it as much as I did.

He's back

A day late and quite exhausted at all a certain airline put him through, but we'll take it.
Seven days seemed really long to me, but made me incredibly grateful I get him on
all of the other days he is not in Brazil--or some other place that is not home.

*Deep sigh*

Life feels right again.

Mission accomplished

I planned a surprise party for our cute friend, Lorri, tonight. It was mighty fantastic,
if I do say so myself. The party wasn't necessarily fancy or amazing, but the surprise
was the best I've pulled off in a long time. And someday, when Lorri forgives me,
she might agree. Until then, I'll just be happy for myself. Bravo me, I say.

Should I be worried?

This is what Ben does if you ask him to be a rock star. I don't have a clue in the world
where he learned it. He kept making these crazy faces and hand gestures and I told
him he looked like a rock star. Apparently he is a fan. You should see the
other 37 'rock star' photos he wanted me to take of him.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Ours has already been a fun one. Leprechauns apparently visited our home in the
very early hours. They made quite a mess as they checked our house for anything
green, even collecting piles here and there throughout the house.

They also must have thought it was okay to use my camera to take a photo or two.
Looks like one of them didn't quite get out of the way. Crazy leprechauns!

But these rainbow cupcakes and the note they left is definitely worth cleaning up their mess.

And almost worth the 47 times I started shutting cupboards last night before
I remembered they were supposed to be that way.

Well, if it had been me, which obviously it was not because do I have footprints the
size of my fist or write in very small script? No, no I do not.

Have a fabulous day of greenness and sugar everyone! (If that is your thing, of course.)

A little light reading

While I was putting my makeup on this morning, I saw Ben walk by me and
into Cam's bedroom. A few seconds later, he yelled out,

"Mama, read Arry Potter?"

Well, okay son. I guess if you are done playing with your blocks and
don't have anything else pressing to do. Go on ahead.

Rain, much?

As requested by a friend

The Day of the Dead (second anniversary)

Does anyone remember this post from one year ago today?

Well, Happy El Día de los Muertos everyone!

I've done the day proud--exhausted beyond words.

But what is that I see? A reward at the end of the exhaustion tunnel?

And it looks a whole lot like an orange ball...and a hoop...and some madness.

Seven days. One hour. Fifty-eight minutes.

Be still my heart, I can hardly wait.

Happy Birthday Matthew!

Matt is so darling and so fun to be around and makes us all happy.
We are so grateful that six years ago he joined our family and that he is ours.

Happy Birthday darling Matt!

Tomorrow's cake

Does it look a little like a giant root beer float? Well, pretend if you could. This here is a
root beer cake with a fancy float frosting, my friends. (Thanks Kathy for saving the day with
your root beer extract!) The small practice cake from yesterday was deemed to be delicious.
We'll see if today's cake is just as good. I have a feeling it is going to be even better.

Because our birthday boy completely deserves it!

Buying me some happines for ten dollars

There are a lot of things that don't matter to me that probably should. When I find a purse I like, I just use it, and only it, for years and years and years. When I have a cell phone that works, I sort of forget that every couple of years you can upgrade to a new one without any cost (could have had a new one last July, but I keep forgetting to get on the website and choose one). If a car works and fits our family, I really could care less how old it is or what company makes it. (I just wish I were this way about everything, but alas, I am not).

A month or two back, I realized my purse was bordering on pathetic. It was about five or six years old and the wallet inside was approximately the same age and the same patheticness. They were looking pretty junky. So I went on a search for another purse I would like as much. I am quite particular about the kind of purse I use, so it took me a few weeks, but I finally found one that I loved. And it was on clearance. I like.

Since that time, I have been using the old wallet because I could not find a new one that both matched the purse and worked well for me. But yesterday at Target, I found the wallet I have been looking for all my life. Or since February. Either way.

It is kind of vintage and different than anything I have owned, but I love it. It wasn't on clearance, but coincidentally cost the same amount as the purse. I figured it must be a sign.

I am now the proud owner of a new purse and a beautiful wallet to put inside it. Who knew that so little money could buy such happiness? Watch out though, next thing you know I will be posting about my new cell phone. But that would mean I would have to remember to get on the website and look at cell phones. And apparently this is low on my priority list.

Oh well, I'll just be content with my pretty wallet for now. Because seriously...I like.

There aren't even words...

...for how much I adore my little brother and how hard he makes me laugh.

Happy Birthday Sweetheart!

Thirty-three years ago today, the man I married was born. And I don’t have enough words to express my gratitude for that event.

We met for the first time when we were thirteen. Why is that so funny to me? For twenty years I have known Jacob Allen. Correction, for twenty years on this earth, I have known Jacob Allen. We hung out with the same group of friends, attended a dance or two together in high school and I wrote him faithfully while he was on mission—okay, maybe not, but that one letter I sent must have been pretty amazing.

But it wasn’t until he stepped off the plane from his mission/staying with his parents on their mission, that my soul completely recognized him. Looking back, I knew what was coming. And from the deepest part of my heart, I knew it was what should happen—what both of us knew should happen.

Because almost twelve years ago, a handsome, wonderful, funny, gentle, happy 21-year old boy stepped off a plane and completely stole my heart. Although, it really was his to begin with.

And today is his birthday. I’m so grateful to be the one celebrating it with him.

You are everything to me, Jacob Ethan.

You are my best friend. You are the first one I need to talk to when something makes me happy or sad or frustrated or confused. You are the one I laugh with and cry with and want with all of my heart to please. You make me laugh harder than anyone I know and you make me feel like I can do anything. For some reason, you never seem to doubt me and never act surprised when I do something I didn’t think I could. You are logical when I want to act with only my emotions, you are calm when crazy is not a wild enough word to describe me, you are completely trusting and faithful when I am overwhelmed and past understanding.

Happy Birthday, Love.

You are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.

Not quite what I had in mind...

...when darling Jacob offered to tend the kids while I finished cleaning up the house.

In his defense, there was a Frisbee thrown on the roof. And the kids were so excited
it was almost worth the heart attack I suffered after being called out onto the deck.

Dads are much more exciting then moms. And about eighteen times as dangerous.

These kids are so blessed to have their incredible dad.
Even if the adventures he chooses about do me in.

Well hello March!

Oh happy day, I love this month. There are so many things about March to love. Sure I'll name a few, thanks for asking.

Jacob's birthday. Can't wait. And not just because he will finally be the same age as me, after a long four weeks, but because I love torturing showering him with crazy birthdayness.

Matt's birthday. Now that was the fastest six years of my life. He is so excited, I am so excited, we just can't wait. Every detail is being discussed several times a day. And Matt brings it up every once in a while too.

Lorri's birthday. This is our darling friend who lives with us. Now she is going to be thrilled that I mentioned this on the blog, but I couldn't help it. She lives with the crazy birthday lady, so she is out of luck.

Spring. Oh spring, spring, how I've missed you. Please come soon.

March Madness. I am doing everything I can to keep from writing in all caps and with a plethora of exclamation marks. Oh my word, do I ever LOVE MARCH MADNESS! I couldn't help it. Sorry.

Welcome March. You've always been good to me. Please don't let me down now.