I made it into our town paper a few weeks ago. You really should be impressed. They quoted me a lot and I felt like a celebrity. I don't mean to make anyone jealous, I just thought I should mention it, you know, for posterity.
Why did I make the paper?
Well, thanks for asking.
A while back, I was asked to be the PR representative for the PTA at the kids school. Is that hilarious to anyone else?
Me, the PR representative? I'm really good with the public. I always say the right thing. And I should for sure be asked to talk to people who print things permanently, for all to see. Anyway, I asked my friend, who is the president, if she was sure. She said yes.
Well, alrighty then.
Making it in the paper was the exciting part of the day. Stealing the paper later that evening was a little less so. When my friend called to ask if I had seen the article, I hadn't. She said it was good. That it would help the school raise money for the playground we need. Hurray, because that is just what we were looking to do. So what choice did I have, but to go grab a copy? And unfortunately, I literally meant grab.
I asked a friend (different friend than the one mentioned above) where you can get the town newspaper. (No need to point out that I have lived in this town for two years and I didn't know where to get a paper.) She told me she thought most anyplace. I asked how much it cost. She thought it was free, as the town she lived in previously was always free. Awesome. I took myself to the 7-11 up the street, walked in and started looking around for papers. And what do you know, they were right up front. I grabbed our town paper, made sure the article I was looking for was on the front page and walked outside to my car. As I was starting the car to go home, I noticed the manager, who must have been in the back while I was in the store, walk to the front and stare out the window at me. Weird, but he is kind of an interesting fellow (one of those who seems bothered whenever you come into his store), so I just assumed he was annoyed I had showed up once again.
On the way home, my mind started thinking.
What if the paper wasn't free? Of course it was free, why wouldn't it be? But what if it wasn't? For the last time, of course it is. I'm a trusting person and someone told me it was, so that is the answer. Guess what? It wasn't. There on the front page, in addition the the wonderful article quoting a certain brilliant person, was the cost. Fifty cents. I had just shoplifted a newspaper. Being a criminal doesn't give you the high I thought it might.
I turned the car around, grabbed two quarters from the change compartment in the Honda and headed into the 7-11 to explain.
So, I seriously thought the paper I just took was free. But I just realized it wasn't. So I'm here to pay you. Here is your money. Sorry about that.
And do you know what? Mr.-Please-Don't-Come-Into-My-Store-And-Buy-Things-Because-It-Bothers-Me smiled. And then laughed. And even though he was laughing at me, the crazy lady who would actually assumed a town paper was free, I was okay with it.
Because not only was I no longer a criminal, but two quarters had just purchased my PR debut.
You know, I really should have grabbed a Slurpee as long as I was there, to drink while I was reading. And
yes, I would have paid for it.
Rude.