Annie's last soccer season in MA

Cam's last soccer season in MA

Water boy...

...to the rescue. Younger brothers are the best!

Long day

The second half of the third, straight soccer game. His turn starts next week. He's a little excited.

Remind you of anything?

LaLaLaLa...LaLaLaLa...

Someone has a slight obsession (kind of like his big brother).
And someone's mother couldn't help but make a totally frivolous purchase.

But look at his face? Wasn't that worth a few dollars?

Love this boy.

Star rank

Last night, we all attended a Court of Honor for Campbell's scout group. Cam was awarded his Star (as well as several merit badges) and we were pretty proud of him for sure.

Sitting at the meeting with these people that have been a part of our lives for almost five years, made me realize once again, how very much we will miss these leaders, these group of young men and their parents.

 

One more bit of big news

I've been planning this post for a while. But after what happened yesterday, it seems kind of small and insignificant. Yet, I have to remember it is a big deal to our little family and we at least wanted to share.

After an unexpected prompting last fall, and many months of fasting and prayer, our little family is moving to Utah. Yes, the state where Jacob and I both grew up, but have been away from for almost eleven years.

Surprising to some, it has been a difficult decision for several reasons. One of those being that with Jacob as the bishop, we didn't take leaving lightly, to say the least. And yet, the Lord let us know over and over, that this is right for us right now, for some reason.

And so, next month, we will pack everything we own and move back to where we started. We are excited, scared, thrilled, sad and grateful. Grateful to know what is best for our family and grateful for these almost five years in Massachusetts. They have changed me more than any other time in my life and I am a different person than I was when I arrived here many years ago. And for that reason, I will be forever thankful to have lived in New England.

To all of our friends here in the Boston area, how we will miss you.
Thank you for your friendship.

To all of our friends in Utah, what a blessing to live back by you again.
Thank you for your friendship.

And to all of our friends who live somewhere in between and
not so in between, you have blessed our lives.
Thank you for your friendship.

Well then, here we go. As they say, nothing is more constant than change.

And the blessings of the Lord. (I don't know if they say that last part, but they should.)

Oh, and if I haven't mentioned it, thank you all for your friendship. We are so grateful.

Marathon Monday

This morning started lazily and happily, thanks to spring break here in the Boston area. Jacob left for work and the rest of us sat around in our pajamas, grateful not to have anything we had to do or anywhere we had to go. The Boston Marathon has become a tradition for us to watch and we decided to turn on the television to watch some of the stories before it officially began. Years ago, we tried the trek up to Boston to watch, but decided that wasn't for us. The energy of being there is pretty amazing, but we prefer to be where we can actually see what is going on. Plus, no one we knew well was running it, so watching it on TV was the plan.

Oh man, I love hearing the stories of those running the marathon. The man whose mother had leukemia and he was running to raise money for the hospital she was a patient in. When we turned on the television early, he had already run the race from the finish line to the starting line and was now going to run it again, from the starting line to the finish line. Absolutely incredible.

The elite group of men and women who not only run 26.2 miles, but run it in a time that does not even register in my brain as something possible to do. They have spent their lives focused on running and they are the best in the world. It is something else to watch.

And then there was the group from Newtown, Connecticut. As I watched this group of people who were running "26 miles for 26 lives" my eyes welled up with tears. They had lost 20 of their children and 6 of their educators to a senseless act of violence. And here they were to honor those lives by running a mile for each of them. As the officials at the race announced there would be 26 seconds of silence for those in Newtown, my children instantly became silent. Even the youngest. And I sat with tears falling down my face, praying for those that had been through something so hard and so awful. What an incredible tribute to those that they lost in this life.

And then the races began. The wheelchair race first and then the elite women and then the men. And finally the waves of incredible marathon runners began. We continued to watch and be amazed by the human spirit and what the human body can do. It was pretty amazing.

A couple of hours later, we finally knew it was time to move on with our day and we started getting dressed and doing our chores around the house. We still felt happy and only a little less lazy.

Just before three pm, my cell phone rang. Jacob was at his office just over a block from the finish line. He had gone out earlier to watch the runners and was back inside working again. He had called to see how we were all doing. We were in the middle of our conversation when he stopped and said, "What in the world?!....Our building just shook. Linn, it feels like an explosion just happened! I'll call you right back."

I can tell you, I didn't especially want to be disconnected and to wait for a call back, but I hung up, wondering and worrying. In my heart, I felt Jacob would be okay (or maybe just hoped so very much), but deep down, something felt really wrong. I don't know why, but I knew something serious had happened.

After several minutes of sitting and praying, my phone rang again. Jacob told me that they were not sure what was happening, but that emergency workers were running down the marathon route, that ambulances were everywhere and that runners had been stopped. "Linn, I think someone set off some bombs by the finish line."

All I could think, after making sure that he was completely okay, as well as everyone at his work, was "What is the matter with people? Who could do such a thing?" and "How much more can the people of Newtown handle?" But I quickly put the thoughts aside in order to focus on keeping calm and getting Jacob away from what was happening and home safe.

It took a long time for that to happen. Getting home was no small feat. I told him to please just take a taxi and stay away from public transportation. (I offered to go get him, but he said there was no way in the world I would make it into Boston and that he didn't want any of us near what was happening.) He said that he truly felt he would be fine and he would call when he figured out a way to make it to the train station. Oh friends, I really did feel that he would be fine (or again, maybe just hoped with all of my heart), but those couple of hours were so very long.

I kept it together when talking to my kids, but being pregnant does not help my emotions, especially when the news started trickling in about what had happened. I just couldn't wrap my mind around it. It was beyond anything I could understand. And those people who had been killed or seriously injured...it felt like too much to even comprehend.

I did tell the kids that someone had set off a couple of bombs at the Boston Marathon and that while their dad had felt them, he was okay and he was coming home. That there were many that were seriously injured and we needed to pray for them. And that while their dad would be fine, we needed to pray for him, that he would be safe and that he would be directed on how best to get home. I don't want to share anything that feels it is just for my own heart, so I will just say that I will never forget how my kids immediately went to their knees. And knowing I couldn't be the voice of the prayer without getting emotional and worrying them, I asked my oldest to pray. I will forever remember what he said and how sincerely he prayed and the feeling we felt kneeling in our family room together, pleading for our dad and for those that had been hurt. I will never forget it. Nor do I ever want to.

Within about 30 or 40 minutes, Jacob let me know he had made it to the train and that he was waiting for the next one home. I asked him to pray hard to make sure he felt right about it, but then to get on the next train out of Boston, even if it wasn't coming straight to our little town. We just needed him out of Boston and closer to us. He called a little while later to say he was on a train that would come to the town next to us. We jumped in the car and left to go get him. My heart felt overwhelmed with gratitude and sadness at the same time.

When I drove up to the train station and saw him, I felt like I could breathe again for the first time in several hours. Although, I honestly don't think the full weight of what happened hit me until much later. I think it hit both of us much later, especially Jacob. He had seen and felt some terrible things and while he is one to always remain calm, I think the reality of being that close to something so horrific shook him quite a bit. It has been a pretty quiet evening. Just sitting together and trying hard not to think too much.

And as grateful as my heart is, and it is beyond grateful, it feels heavy and a bit broken. Today was a sad day for the people of Massachusetts. We are so thankful that many we know and love are okay (we were able to confirm that everyone in our ward was safe, as well as in our stake), but many who are known and loved by others are not. And the reason feels so terrible.

As I prayed and prayed yesterday, I tried to focus on the peace that I know our Heavenly Father is willing to send each of us and the knowledge that He is in charge and He will bless us in spite of, actually because of, our grief and pain. And yet, at the same time I felt His peace, I felt something that I have felt only a few times in my life. I felt His tears at all of our tears. I felt His sorrow for what some of His children are capable of doing. And I felt His protectiveness and love for each of us. Especially, at this time, for those that are consumed with worry and heartache. And while I don't understand everything, especially something like what happened a few hours ago at the finish line to a marathon, I felt like I didn't have to. I could let Him carry that knowledge and feel peace at the knowledge that His ability to make all things right in the end is all I needed.

My responsibility is to increase my prayers for so many who did not get the same result that we got yesterday. And to never stop being grateful for what I have been given. And mostly, to trust Him. In spite of bombs and guns and worry and heartache and just the hard of this world. Yes, the finish line to the Boston marathon signifies something absolutely incredible was just accomplished. But after this morning, it will now signify to me that in spite of what some are capable of doing, the Lord is capable of doing so much more.

And that is enough for now.

More than enough.

My grandma

This is my sweet grandma. Could anyone be any more cute? I think not. She and I talk nearly every day. And when I say every day, I mean every day. Eleven years ago this June, my grandpa passed away, and almost every single day since then, we have talked on the phone. I love her so much and am so incredibly grateful for her. She has always been there for me.

Today when we returned home from church, there was a message from my uncle, telling me that my grandma was in the hospital. He said that she had had congestive heart failure last night and they had taken her to the emergency room. And that she was doing much better today. Apparently I didn't know what congestive heart failure actually was, because I literally thought my heart had stopped when I heard what he said. And while congestive heart failure isn't a good thing, it, gratefully, wasn't as bad as I had first imagined.

I called my grandma, who was resting in her hospital room, and started crying the moment I heard her voice. I was so very worried about her, I was so grateful she was okay and I was so sad to be so far away and not be able to be with her. But she is going to be fine. And I am thankful beyond words.

I love you Gram! I'm so grateful you are okay. Thanks for being the best grandma ever.

Ben's 5th birthday party

Ben's 5th birthday friend party finally happened! His birthday was clear back in January, but he wanted to wait until the weather was warm enough to have it in our back yard. I think we were all glad he waited as we had a fabulous time!

We decided long ago that our kids would only get friend birthday parties at certain ages, so this was Ben's first, and he was really excited. Ben wanted to invite all of his friends from preschool and most everyone was able to make it. The general theme was animals and we had a fun animal hunt (using photos rather than real animals, just for the record), sticker tag and pin the snout on the alligator. We opened presents from his kind friends and then had birthday cupcakes. His little friends were so cute and it was just a happy day for Ben and for all of us.

The day was a perfect one, even though rain was predicted all week for the day of his party. But Ben decided to pray hard it wouldn't rain and not only was there not a single drop, but it ended up being the most beautiful day of the whole year. It seemed like a small thing, but it wasn't--at least for this mom.

How we love our sweet Benjamin! And are so grateful he had such a happy party!

Cub scout awards

Matt had his first court of honor since becoming a cub scout last year
and was awarded both his Bobcat and Wolf badge during it. He also earned
one Gold Arrow Point and two Silver Arrow Points. He has worked so
hard at his scouting and it is so fun to see how excited he gets by it.

 

We sure love this Matt boy of ours!

Easter Sunday

It has been a wonderful Sabbath. During a lesson for the ward I was asked to teach, I shared
my favorite Mormon Message. For anyone interested, it can be found here. And while it may
not initially appear to have anything to do with Easter, to me it has everything to do with
Easter. Our Savior is truly our "High Priest of Good Things to Come." And with every part
of my heart and soul, I know that His Atonement and His Resurrection are enough. For all
people and for all time. He lives. And because of that, everything will be okay in the end.

He lives, my one sure rock of faith,
The one bright hope of men on earth,
The beacon to a better way,
The light beyond the veil of death.

My Redeemer Lives, Hymn #135

Our little one

At an early ultrasound yesterday, they were able to tell us that our little one is a baby girl.

We are beyond thrilled and deeply grateful. Especially that she looks just perfect
at this point. This never gets old. And my love and attachment to our little sweetheart
is already deep and strong and such an incredible privilege.The Lord is so very good to us.

And there was much rejoicing

The Big Dance begins in just over 24 hours. Oh the joy.
And my team is back this year. Actually, both of my teams are back.
One that I've been extremely vocal about the past several years.
And one that has struggled a lot for the past many years, but that I have loved since I was very young and my grandpa taught me to love them. I cannot wait!

Here we go friends...

You might be expecting a baby if...

...you end up putting on your sunglasses during the early morning drive to church, so that the kids can't see you get weepy during the audio reading of the final feast of the first Harry Potter book.

Sweet waffles, Neville being awarded ten points for standing up to his friends--I still can't even think about it.

Let's just hope we don't get too far into the series before this baby joins the family. I don't think my emotions can handle it.

And no need to point out this is our second time through the books (third if you count that I've read them all myself also) and that I should handle better what is coming. I actually think, in my case, it makes it worse.

Matt's favorite birthday gift

My number

From the time I was very young, I loved the number six. For many reasons really, but sufficieth
to say, it was my number for many, many years. When we had our little Nate, I decided five was a
fabulous number to love and call my own. So I did. But apparently that wasn't the plan for long.

Six is officially now my favorite number. Once again.

And we are so incredibly thrilled and so deeply humbled.

Matthew Davis

NINE words to describe this sweet boy:

• Trusting • Loving • Energetic • Playful • Smart • Happy • Helpful • Funny • Kind •

Happy Birthday our darling Matt! We love you so very much.

{Insert sarcastic voice here}

Oh Spring, how we've missed you!

One down

Anyone remember this post from almost three years ago?

Well, apparently we don't light as many candles as I might have thought,
because below you will see a picture of our first lighter that finally gave up the ghost.
Apparently I miscalculated the time it would take us to use our free box of lighters.
Originally there were 37 Bic lighters in the box. We gave five to friends that dropped by
here and there. Then you see the one below that is no longer in operation. Thirty-one left.
At almost three years per lighter. Oh dear, we'll be running out sometime around 2106.
Mark your calendars folks. No more birthday candles at our house after I turn 129.
I don't care how much the kids whine about it. I'm not made of money you know.

Happy Birthday Jacob!!

Happy Birthday Love! May this year be everything you
deserve and more. I'm so grateful to be yours. Love you so much.

xoxoxo

This boy

There are so many reasons this photo that makes me
simultaneously laugh and shake my head.

A few of those reasons would include: 1) You are apparently never to young to set up a lounge chair. 2) We are likely the only people in the universe that still own a tube TV. 3) I truly don't believe that Nate has actually ever watched TV for more than five minutes in his life. 4) So the fact that he turned it on himself and I found him sitting like this is hilarious. 5) As is the fact that this photo was taken this morning. Of course Nate would choose the only day our family does not watch television to suddenly decided he was interested in TV watching. And 6) This would pretty much sum up life with Nathan Grant Allen.

PS. For the record, it didn't last. Apparently, TV is only interesting to Nate baby on the Sabbath.

Worth every penny

At the beginning of this year, our family started an allowance program for the first time. I've always struggled with the right way for us to do allowance, as I personally don't believe in paying kids to do things they should just normally do to contribute to the family. But after a great idea from one of my favorite blogs to read, we have a system that is really working in our family. (We altered it slightly for our family, but the basic idea is so great.)  And it has been working for weeks and weeks, which definitely makes my heart happy. (I'll share details sometime soon, if anyone is interested.)

Our kids are very consistently working on good things. And learning how to manage money and their time and that thing called life along the way. I'm so very pleased.

The best part to me is that there is not a lot of nagging on my part. They really seemed motivated on their own. And when they are not for a bit of time, no worries, that is how life goes. In addition, they are starting to truly enjoy some of the skills they are learning and will often want to spend extra time on one of their areas--as long as a sibling is not standing in the wings, waiting for their turn.

One of the things they must do each weekday is work on learning Spanish. We decided to invest in Rosetta Stone (and gratefully got a good deal on it) and boy am I a fan. So are the kids apparently. In fact, when I come in the room and see a note like the one below, written in Ben's handwriting, it sure does something to my heart. And makes me realize that we should have started this a long time ago. But now is definitely better than never.

How I love his five-year-old handwriting. And how he writes his As just like
they do on the computer program. And don't even get me started on that tilde.

The month that is March

I don't know if you heard, but tomorrow is March.

March happens to be one of my favorite months for several reasons:

1. Two of my favorite people in the world celebrate their birthdays this month.

2. El Día de los Muertos falls in the month of March.

3. Spring attempts to show up here and there and makes me feel like I can actually breathe again.

4. Our annual "Good Luck Dinner" makes the kids so very happy!

5. But mostly--mostly folks--we have the madness that is March.

And you better believe I am counting down the seconds. 

 
1,702,282 for the record.

Over the hill

There are several things that make me feel old. Trying to keep up with a 16-month old. Buying our oldest son men's shoes, in a size 10. Trying to stay awake past 10:30pm and failing miserably. And several other things that my old lady brain can't remember right at this moment.

But I think near the top of my list is receiving a wedding invitation in the mail from darling friends. And then opening it to realize that they are announcing the marriage of their child. The one I used to babysit. Don't get me wrong, I'm extremely happy for the joyful couple, I'm just not sure how wise it is of their parents to let them get married at the ripe old age of twelve.

Now to figure out if a remote control car or Legos make a better wedding gift.

Love

"There is power in our love for God and for His children, and when that love
is tangibly manifest in millions of acts of Christian kindness, it will sweeten
and nourish the world with the life-sustaining nectar of faith, hope, and charity."

~Elder M. Russell Ballard

It's incredibly tacky...

...but it's totally saving my sanity.

Third time's the charm

Yesterday I mentioned I was so thankful for the kindness of our neighbors. And I can tell you after the amount of snow we had the past couple of days, I would have been grateful no matter what. But I felt especially touched by their kindness to us, because we've been without Jacob for several days. And going through a blizzard, when you are the only parent home with five kids, is a bit intense.

I truly felt like we could handle it and we would honestly be fine no matter what, but I don't think I realized how much it was emotionally taxing me to wonder if we would lose our power and I would have to figure out how to keep five children warm and entertained in our cold, dark house. So when I woke up this morning and realized we had made it through two nights with our power, I felt so deeply grateful. And so utterly exhausted.

But finally, after three flight attempts, Jacob is officially on his way home. And we are pretty thrilled that is the case. There have been very few weeks in the last six months that he has been home the whole week. (In fact, the other day we counted it up and in the last 22 weeks he has had 18 business trips. Each trip has been anywhere from one night to eight days so the time gone has been pretty significant, at least to me. Supposedly this one should be the last for quite a while, but I've heard that one or twice already, so we will see. Insert smiley face to soften that last sentence.) So I knew the odds were not great that he would be around for the storm, but was still surprised when his work had those on this particular case fly off, knowing this huge blizzard was coming and their families would be alone.

Mostly though, I'm grateful that the Lord is so very kind to us in so many small and large ways. I've already mentioned the power and our safety 46 times, but over and over again, we were so blessed. Last night, I was headed up to bed and was closing things down. I sat down to turn off the computer and had the strongest feeling to check Jacob's flight that was supposed to bring him home this afternoon. It was a strange prompting because I wasn't even sure of the info as Jacob hadn't passed it on yet. But I started to look into it and found three flights leaving Dallas today, headed for Boston. And the middle one, the one I was pretty sure Jacob was booked on, had cancelled.

I quickly called Jacob and he took a look and confirmed it was his flight. I think both of us were pretty disappointed. He told me he needed to call the airline and he would call me back. Several minutes later he called and reported his flight had cancelled, but that they had booked him on an earlier flight. The airline representative said it wasn't likely that the flight would be happening, but because the only other option, a flight late in the day, was booked, Jacob took it. We both knew he would probably be flying home Monday, but we had to give it a try.

And it paid off. Right at this moment, Jacob is on his way home. Both last night as I was falling asleep and early this morning, as I was listening to a baby who should not be awake talk to himself from 5:45am on, I just felt overwhelmed with gratitude. If we had not seen the flight was cancelled last night (and we would not have without checking, because with all of the changes and craziness of the weather here, notifications were all over the place--hence the 12:35am call I received on our home phone about Jacob being on the new flight), Jacob would not be headed home today. The only other flight was full and he would be headed home Monday afternoon at best. And yes, five days is tolerable and we would have made it until the got there, but that doesn't mean I am not grateful to my core that we didn't have to. And that after several days and a bit more stress then we are used to in our normal lives (just for the record, the bishop's phone rings a lot during a blizzard, which it truly was my pleasure to be of help), things seem to be calming down. So that prompting last night made today a much different day than it might have been. And took quite a bit of responsibility and burden off my shoulders. The Lord is so good to me.

I'm so grateful for all of my blessings. They are many. And today I'm especially thankful for warm homes, kind neighbors, the promptings of the Holy Ghost and airplanes. What a good Sabbath, indeed.

Nemo ~ Part II

We kept our power all night and I truly woke up about nine or ten times last night,
realized it was still on and lay praying in gratitude. I'm so thankful. Especially because
we've been told that we accumulated between 30-40 inches of snow. That is a lot of snow,
people. A whole lot. I wish this picture portrayed it as accurately as looking out our window.
But hey, did I mention we still have our power? And our house is warm? What a blessing.

6:59am

10:10am

5:40pm

But here is my favorite photo of both days. This was taken this afternoon after our wonderful
neighbors with a snow blower left. Their kindness meant a whole lot (for several reasons, one
of which I'll share a little later). But having someone be so good to us sure meant a lot today.
And finally, it appears this big storm is over. And I'm positive that will be enough
snow for the rest of the winter. As they say in Massachusetts...we're all set, thanks.