My darling boy

There are two specific reasons I am doing better than I thought I would with Campbell's departure.

The first is that my boy gave me a blessing before he left. And it was one of the sweetest
experiences of my life. I won't share details that were meant solely for my heart, but I will
say that God is real. And the Savior's promise of peace is something we can have in our
life. Even when, actually especially when, our heart is simultaneously breaking.

The second has to do with these four pictures. Campbell had not been in the security line
for more than thirty seconds when I saw him, thanks to the longer lens on my camera, put a
bag over his left shoulder. I knew he didn't have a duffel bag himself, so it only took me a
few seconds to realize that the sweet elderly gentleman in front of him was the owner of that
bag. And then watched as my son proceeded to talk and listen and serve that darling man,
who graciously gave him the opportunity, the entire time through security. When I saw him
start his mission this way, peace filled my heart and hasn't left it. I know he will struggle.
I know there will be times that will be tremendously, tremendously difficult. But he has been
asked to be a disciple of Jesus Christ in a different way than he ever has been. And he began
his discipleship within thirty seconds of his walking away from us. I will never forget it.

And I don't believe my Savior will either.

Fly high my darling boy, you are so very loved

Today was the most beautifully, horrible experience I've ever had.
But we are focusing on the joy. And there is so much joy.

Elder Allen

My boy has a new title.

Just a few hours ago, he was set apart as a missionary of the Church of Jesus Christ

of Latter-day Saints. He has put away his cell phone, his music, his regular clothing

and will leave behind those of us who love him most. Tomorrow afternoon, he will

begin his journey to Brazil where he will spend six weeks at the missionary training

center in São Paulo, learning the language and studying the gospel. Then he will travel

to Porto Alegre and spend every day, all day for two years, serving the incredible

Brazilian people and making sure they know that God loves them, that Jesus Christ

is their Savior, that the gospel brings peace beyond comprehension and that

through temple covenants, we can be united as families eternally.

The conflicting emotions running through my heart are overwhelming and

beautiful and heartbreaking and raw. But mostly, I just feel the deepest pride

in this boy who made me a mother and who, no matter how far away he goes,

will ever travel outside the reaches of my all-encompassing love for him.

My firstborn, my boy, my Campbell.

My Elder Allen.

Seize the Day

Newsies with cousins today, courtesy of Jacob's sweet parents, who bought the
tickets before their mission call this last December. What an amazing cast and
incredible performance. We loved it. And loved being with family especially.

SO much joy

Jacob took these three darlings to the temple. Where Campbell was able to baptize
and confirm his siblings and his dad in behalf of those that have passed on.

Yee to the haw

It's that time of the year again. Rodeo night. Fun times with darling company
and sweet thoughts of my dad who taught me to love rodeos.

Oh, and Grace was cheering for the animals. I loved it so much.

High adventure camp

This guy is with the young men in our ward at high adventure camp this week and we have
missed him. It was so wonderful to get this picture earlier today from one of his fabulous leaders.

Family pictures

We had family pictures taken last night by the incredible Dan and McKenzie Page
of Dan Page Photography and I just want to cry with happiness. Mostly because that
darling boy in the middle leaves for Brazil a week from yesterday and we were able
to get pictures before he left. And also because Dan and McKenzie are talented
beyond the talent that normal human beings are usually gifted with and that
is a huge blessing in my life. For the second time. But definitely not the last.

I'm so grateful for a beautiful night, two amazing photographers, six sweet
and cooperative chicklets and my kind husband and his happy compliance with
these pictures that matter so much to me. It was a wonderful evening for sure.

My girls

Haircuts for the girls today. This little sweetheart felt so grown up.
She's not my baby girl any longer. At least technically.

Seriously, isn't she the cutest? And she'll be just as cute in a couple
of weeks when those wisdom teeth are out. I really adore this girl.

Called to serve our King

One of my dearest friends gave me this gift today and it makes me sob. I love it so, so much.

He will be three hours ahead of us

His clock is purchased and hung. I just can't believe it is almost time to turn it on.

Webelos day camp

Scout day camp for this handsome guy.
So grateful for fabulous leaders and fun scout friends.

It's almost time

She has the need for speed

And apparently vitamin D.

Our sweet grandmas

Campbell and I visited these two darling grandmas today. It was the best. We also shopped for
missionary clothes for a considerable time. That wasn't the best. Because I can't stand shopping.
And his leaving is getting very real. But being with him was worth it, so I'll just be grateful. Also,
we were able to spend time with these two sweet grandmas of ours. Did I already mention that?

Best cousins

Yesterday morning, we were able to attend the baptism of that handsome boy on the right.
My kids love all of their cousins, but Campbell and Tommy have such a sweet relationship.
Tommy has been drawn to his oldest cousin from the time he was little, as you can tell.
And Campbell just adores this mighty bundle of energy. It was a good morning for all of us,
but for these darling cousins who won't see each other for the next two years, it was extra sweet.

Tonight's walk

 

Just so much joy

Outside the temple was dark and windy and we were so happy. Last night was incredible.

My darling mom's health hasn't been great of late and we missed her tonight for sure.
My sweet dad had spent the entire day as a temple worker and still chose to come back and
share in this special evening. Jacob's wonderful parents are seven thousand miles away serving
the Lord and there was a hole we all felt with their absence. After an invitation from us,
our amazing stake president tried to be with us tonight and did everything he could to attend,
but releasing a newly returned missionary is mighty important too. But his incredible wife
came and supported and loved and kindly lessened the bit of sadness we were feeling at not
have either grandma there. Both my cute dad and darling Carolyn left before pictures, but I
will never forget their love and support on this joyful night. Not in a million years. 

Tonight will always be one of my favorite memories of mortality. I just sobbed at the
overwhelming happiness I felt to be in the most wonderful place on earth with this boy
who made me a mother and who makes me so proud I could burst. God is good.
He is so very, very good. And I am so ridiculously blessed.

On the way home, I had so many thoughts floating through my mind. Going through the temple
for the first time with Campbell made his upcoming mission more real than anything else thus far. 

I will miss Campbell with a fierceness that I can't even describe. And while I'm allowing
myself to feel how I feel without judgment, I also try hard to focus as much as possible on
how proud we are of him and his decision, how kind the Lord is to let us be a part of His
work here on earth and what a blessing I am being given to allow myself to trust my
Heavenly Father enough to turn my son over to Him for the next two years.

In addition to all of that, what also makes my heart break a little is the knowledge that
when Campbell leaves, our family will never be the same. Even when he returns, he will be
off to a new and different world and that is exactly how it should be. That is what I'm raising
all of my children to move toward and to focus on and to rejoice in. So I'm thrilled. But this
era of having all of my six chicklets home where I can keep them close and love them and be
there and fully available is coming to a close. And as excited as I am for this next step,
and I really am, I'm mourning what has been and what feels so very brief to this mother.

Life is good. And is filled with beautiful memories behind us and so much wonderful ahead.
I feel grateful beyond measure. Last night was glorious. Onward and upward.

Last night

Thirty-three feet for Jacob

The cherry pit spitting contest on the 4th of July is an Allen family tradition, as far back as
Jacob remembers and long before. We loved being with Jonny and Taunya and their darling
family to have dinner, a soccer tournament and to spit pits. It was a good Independence Day.

Theater kid, times two

This sweet child of mine (on the left) is slowly, but surely, turning this sweet child of mine
(on the right) into a theater kid. It is awesome. Grace is obsessed with music and plays and her
older sister. So when Annes asked Gracie if she wanted to go to a play with her this afternoon,
just the two of them, Grace's face made me want to laugh and tear up. She was so, so happy.
And now, they are off to watch Hello, Dolly! and have a sister's afternoon together.

 

I really love EFY

These beautiful girls went to EFY together this past week. And had the greatest time.
So grateful for good friends who are such a wonderful influence on our kids,
for Annie and her amazing heart and to have all of my darlings together again at home.

Jacob in London

Three friends

I've lost count of what number we are on, but one more for the collection.

Oh I love Jacob Allen

Yesterday began really early (and ended very late). It was a busy, busy day. For all of us, but especially my incredible husband. He was on a business trip for most of the week and then was only home for a bit before leaving again for many a day.

But that sweet guy that I get to be married to spent every second of his free time (which was very little) painting the three bedrooms that were involved in our fun flood. And he finished with literally about twenty-two minutes to shower and pack before he was off to catch his flight to London.

It was incredibly important to him that he didn't leave again until those rooms were in a place where I could clean and organize and redecorate them, after the chaos of the last three weeks. He knew what it would mean to me and he made it happen.

I'm thankful everyday that the Lord let me marry Jacob Allen. And not just because the kids' rooms are painted (although my gratitude is off the charts). But because he is good and kind and thoughtful and loving and works hard in every way to take care of our little family. And is so good to me, it is kind of ridiculous.

They are home

That beautiful girl on the left was at girls camp all week until yesterday morning and that
handsome guy on the right was at EFY until this morning. It was strange only having four kids
at home all week. And it feels good to have all of my chicklets back under one roof again.

Oh I love these kids

Jacob recently shared with me this photo he took in Hawaii and I love it so much. I mean seriously,
so much joy in one picture. Our time there is full of so many wonderful memories. I'm so grateful.

My darling bookends

Often, the crazy of having a child who just graduated from high school as my oldest
and a child who still has one more year of preschool as my youngest is both hilarious
and overwhelming. Gratefully, it was made extremely clear that the Lord was in charge
of our family and that these chicklets that we love, love, love came exactly when
they were supposed to. So it is perfect. Crazy and perfect. Just like our life.

Four-year-old speedster

This little nugget learned not only to ride her bike without training wheels, but to start by
herself, which is every parent's dream. Or maybe just mine. She is amazing and I adore her.