So many miracles

Random Thoughts:

One of the candy bars here gives you the nutritional facts if you were
to eat 5/6ths of the candy bar. Make sure you stop with 1/6th left.

All of the books in the Book of Mormon and the Bible have different
names in Portuguese. The new name for Revelations is Apocalipse.

A grilled banana sandwich is much better than a
grilled ham and cheese sandwich we found out.

Also, Nutella is apparently not allowed in the cafeteria.

On P-Day we accidentally talked to a very drunk dude
who asked us why angels couldn't carry guns (I think).
.
I've shared a small part of Campbell's email that makes me miss his hilarious self,
but so much of the rest of what my boy wrote was so sweet and touching. I think this
was my favorite letter thus far and he took every chance he could to testify of his belief in
what he is doing, in God's love for each of His children and of miracles. So many miracles.

Another first day of school

11th grade, 9th grade, 5th grade and 1st grade.

Getting ready for school

A few of the things we've been doing the last few days to get ready for school:

Finding Annie the perfect Newsies boots. She made the play at her high school and
I'm so excited to watch her perform, I can hardly stand it. This girl is amazing.

The boys needed haircuts. And I snuck back to get a picture of Nate getting
his hair washed. He loves it so much I think I should probably just purchase
him 12 shampoo sessions for his Christmas gift. He would be in heaven.

The girls didn't need haircuts, so we got pedicures instead. Mostly because
I needed one desperately, so I decided to be a kind mom and bring
Annie and Grace along. And now our toes are ready for school.

Back to school night at the elementary school. I love both of the
boys' teachers and feel so grateful to have them in their classrooms.

And cupcakes the night before school starts. Just because.
I asked Matt to pose with his cupcake. Lovely eh?

I just love them so much

How do you adequately thank someone for a gift that means everything to you? I'm not sure,
so I'll just say, Dan Page, I'm so grateful I could burst. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
This first picture makes me teary to have in my possession. The rest are just a beautiful bonus.

These last two pictures that totally crack me up. We are apparently the worst at sweet.
As you can see, I couldn't quit laughing, Campbell was being Campbell, Matt was
being Matt and Nate gave his best smile of the night right here (missing the memo
to look at his parents). It's a mantle photo for sure and I seriously love it.
.
And this last photo makes me want to jump on a plane to Brazil and hug
that boy of mine. My sweet bookends. That is a picture I will love forever.

Happy day

These two darling people were married today. And I felt honored to be there.
That beautiful girl is my niece and is one of the sweetest people out there. And her
handsome husband just seems like such a tremendous guy. It was a wonderful day.
.
Especially because they were married in the temple and my sweet dad performed
the sealing. I don't have words for the intense emotions I had. All I know is my dad is wise
and incredible and sweet and humble and just amazing. And God is so very, very good.

Congratulations Kennedy and Chandler! We are so happy for you both.

Life is good

Just sitting at soccer practice (not mine, in case you were confused and thought I should
probably stand up) and appreciating the sky and thinking life is really good. I feel so thankful
to be married to Jacob Allen and to have my sweet kids and to be blessed so tremendously.

His keyboard has no apostrophe...if you can't cannot tell

Today was a really good day for Portuguese because, for one, during choir, I was talking
to a missionary from Brazil and he asked if I was Brazilian. It made me so happy.

I'm so proud of this son of mine and so grateful to the Lord for blessing him so incredibly.
And then after the tears of gratitude, I couldn't quit laughing when he closed his letter with,

I think Ill leave you all with some random thoughts that Ive had.

My shampoo is vegan just in case I hated natural food and also in case
I wanted to try and eat my shampoo.

The ant colony that comes out of my shower faucet is named San ANTonio.
They experience frequent hurricanes.

My roommate thinks that LeBron is not the best player in the NBA.
He thinks its Paul George so thats hilarious.

In São Paulo they serve hot dogs with mashed potato in them.

Love you all! Hope yall survive another week.

Elder Allen

Two photos on the Sabbath

Sunday afternoon creations.

And writing our favorite missionary.

I love Sundays.

Remembering

A few minutes ago, I pulled the small notebook I carry in my purse out to write down a few thoughts. Completely unexpectedly, it flipped open to a couple of silly drawings that Campbell drew for Grace the last time we were waiting for haircuts before his mission.

It totally took my heart by surprise and I couldn't stop the tears.

I know there's nothing wrong with missing my boy and feeling emotional about it, so I let myself cry for a bit. But afterwards, I reminded myself of the tremendous miracle that the Lord gave me during church on the day Campbell gave his farewell talk.

It was an emotional day, feeling so proud and thrilled and overwhelmed and sad at the thought of Campbell's departure the next day. I was trying hard to let myself feel all of those valid and conflicting emotions, yet also attempting to be present and in the moment during those last few hours with my boy. The young men in our congregation began passing the sacrament and soon, the bread was passed to me. As I took a piece, this thought came to my heart. "Here I am, accepting this tangible symbol of the Atonement of my Savior, Jesus Christ, which gives me everything in this life. It is how I repent, it is how I feel peace, it is what gives me hope and it is why I get to be with my husband and my children not just for this life, but for eternity. I am choosing to accept my Heavenly Father's sacrifice of HIS Son. The very least I can do is to trust Him with MY son for the next two years."

I could never express how sweet and beautiful that moment was and while I truly believe my Heavenly Father completely understands how deeply I miss my boy and that I ache to hug him and to be with him, I also want so much for Him to know how much His unimaginable sacrifice of His Beloved Son means to me. And one small way I can show that is to always remember that incredible experience He gave me almost three weeks ago.

It is such a privilege to be a mom. And to have the gospel. And to miss my boy. And to trust the Lord with his safekeeping. As a missionary and throughout his entire life.

I feel blessed and rested

I just finished my fourth book in just under two days, I think my shingles are finally
turning a corner (that was in my whisper font since I don't want to jinx things)
and my husband is still the kindest person I've ever known. Who insisted that
I go away for several days to sleep and relax as much as possible.

I'm just so blessed to be married to Jacob Allen.
And to have my sweet kids. And the life I do. Shingles and all.

Our little unicorn girl

Annie is the queen at this unicorn look for Grace and I'm dying at the cuteness.
The relationship these two sisters have makes me so happy and so grateful.

Go! Do! And be happy!

"Guys, I love you and miss you all, but I know that there is a work to be done
and I have been called to do it. As my amazing Branch Presidency
member said in very broken English, 'Go! Do! And be happy!'"

He sounds so good and more settled and is just loving life as a missionary.
My heart could absolutely burst with gratitude.

I love this curly-headed kid so much

When Matt was a baby, he had curly, red hair. I loved it so much. Around his first birthday,
I gave him his first haircut and the curls didn't grow back. I was devastated for a very long time.

Well ladies and gentlemen, it appears I just had to wait approximately thirteen years,
because those curls are back. And I couldn't be more happy.

Rinse and repeat

Yesterday I finally finished up with my shingles medication. An antiviral drug that I had to take five times a day. Five. It was kind of the worst. And also a steroid to keep me from having nerve pain at the site for possibly many years to come. Oh steroids, I'm grateful for you, but I also hateth you. Just hours before I took my last pills, I noticed some intense pain and several clusters of a new rash beginning.

I have started a new cycle of shingles. And I seriously want to cry. They are worse this time and they want me to come in to InstaCare again, because apparently this isn't normal. I could have told you that, I don't do normal when it comes to medical anything.

I know there are real problems in the world and this isn't one of them, but I honestly haven't felt this discouraged in a long time. I don't know if I have the ability to go through this again. But I guess that isn't an option, so ready or not...

But in trying to end on a positive, I have to say that you kind people, family and neighbors and friends, have been incredible to me. This is a silly little problem and I know that, but your kindness and calls and texts and treats and even meals (in spite of my adamantly refusing) make me cry to feel so loved. So please know that. Even if I couldn't be any more grumpy and sad then I am this second, I'm truly so sincerely grateful. Thank you so, so much friends.

Now to will myself to go into InstaCare. I'd kind of rather find someone who could put me into a coma for the next week or two until this goes away.

Good thing I'm not dramatic. Because that would be super annoying.

And that about sums it up, folks

These three have loved their first week of swimming lessons with our darling neighbor.
Heading home today, Nate commented, "I wish we could take swimming lessons..."
and before he could finish, Grace interrupted with, "Every day until we die."

Letter day is the BEST day

We received Campbell's first official letter today entitled If You're Ever Feeling Down Just Remember
That I Forgot a Tie To My First Day as a Missionary. I love that boy something fierce.

He made me laugh and cry and feel so homesick for him, it took me a second to catch my breath. All
as it should be. He testified of God's love and specifically, "...That the gift of tongues is so real. I have
been here a week and I can pray in Portuguese, bear my testimony in Portuguese and have a basic
conversation in Portuguese. No thanks to me though. I am just trying and that is all that He asks for."

We're a great big mess at our house

I have shingles, Matt has chicken pox. I've had shingles before. Matt has been vaccinated for chicken
pox, as have all of our other children. Um, riddle me that one folks. Apparently I have a limit to the
amount of stress I can handle and Matt is super susceptible to the pox that is related to poultry.

The first picture I took after leaving InstaCare where they informed that I indeed had shingles.
Let's just say there was a lot going through my mind. Then the next morning, Matt's "rash"
had become bad enough to run him to the InstaCare where he posed for a picture, showing one
of his clusters. Which has since become much, much worse. And spread all over. Poor boy.

We're a giant mess at our house. If you can't tell.

He's the handsome one in the light gray suit

The sweet email we received from Campbell the day after he left, letting us know he had
arrived and was so happy, meant everything to my heart. Then today, the president of the CTM
(Centro do Treinamento Missionario) sent such a kind letter sharing his love for these new
missionaries and the promise to take care of them like they are his own. And attached
this photo. The first of my boy with his missionary tag. I'm so, so happy.

Another round of wisdom teeth

Zero for two. Like her older brother, this girl had no reaction to the anesthesia.
And I was so disappointed. But her wisdom teeth are gone, she is healing quickly and
doing great and for that I am extra grateful. It is nice to have over. Now just four more to go.

I love it so

The last picture of my six chicklets together for the next two years.

My darling boy

There are two specific reasons I am doing better than I thought I would with Campbell's departure.

The first is that my boy gave me a blessing before he left. And it was one of the sweetest
experiences of my life. I won't share details that were meant solely for my heart, but I will
say that God is real. And the Savior's promise of peace is something we can have in our
life. Even when, actually especially when, our heart is simultaneously breaking.

The second has to do with these four pictures. Campbell had not been in the security line
for more than thirty seconds when I saw him, thanks to the longer lens on my camera, put a
bag over his left shoulder. I knew he didn't have a duffel bag himself, so it only took me a
few seconds to realize that the sweet elderly gentleman in front of him was the owner of that
bag. And then watched as my son proceeded to talk and listen and serve that darling man,
who graciously gave him the opportunity, the entire time through security. When I saw him
start his mission this way, peace filled my heart and hasn't left it. I know he will struggle.
I know there will be times that will be tremendously, tremendously difficult. But he has been
asked to be a disciple of Jesus Christ in a different way than he ever has been. And he began
his discipleship within thirty seconds of his walking away from us. I will never forget it.

And I don't believe my Savior will either.

Fly high my darling boy, you are so very loved

Today was the most beautifully, horrible experience I've ever had.
But we are focusing on the joy. And there is so much joy.

Elder Allen

My boy has a new title.

Just a few hours ago, he was set apart as a missionary of the Church of Jesus Christ

of Latter-day Saints. He has put away his cell phone, his music, his regular clothing

and will leave behind those of us who love him most. Tomorrow afternoon, he will

begin his journey to Brazil where he will spend six weeks at the missionary training

center in São Paulo, learning the language and studying the gospel. Then he will travel

to Porto Alegre and spend every day, all day for two years, serving the incredible

Brazilian people and making sure they know that God loves them, that Jesus Christ

is their Savior, that the gospel brings peace beyond comprehension and that

through temple covenants, we can be united as families eternally.

The conflicting emotions running through my heart are overwhelming and

beautiful and heartbreaking and raw. But mostly, I just feel the deepest pride

in this boy who made me a mother and who, no matter how far away he goes,

will ever travel outside the reaches of my all-encompassing love for him.

My firstborn, my boy, my Campbell.

My Elder Allen.