Friday, November 29, 2019

Zambia ~ Part two

Second, I feel strongly that it is important to feel compassion for others we meet, while being
extremely careful not to confuse that compassion with pity. There is no question that my wonderful
life includes freedom and ease that I am thankful for on a daily basis. I have a really good life.
But my time in Africa taught me lessons that made me want to be more like the beautiful Zambian
people I met. It helped me to see where I am lacking (often in significant ways) and made clear
that those living in what we would consider trying circumstances, are handling their lives
tremendously well. And witnessing that in person taught me many life-changing lessons.

And yet...where there is lack, we have a responsibility to show up. It is our duty to have eyes that
see where there is a need in our Father in Heaven's children and then work to lessen that need in
the way that it will help His children the most. Not in how we think we should solve it or how how
it will make us feel better, but in the way God asks us to help. Because He knows His children.
Including each one of us. And letting Him guide us, in helping them, will always have the better result.

Compassion, coupled with great amounts of time on our knees to direct our work, will change the
world. In the smallest of ways. Which will sometimes lead to really big ways. Oh how thankful
our Father must be for every small and big effort made by any of us, toward any of His children.

I'm so grateful for my brothers and sisters on earth who teach me lessons that help me
want to be more like them. And like my Savior. Both are such a privilege to emulate.

Thursday, November 28, 2019

Zambia ~ Part one

I can't think of a more meaningful day to share some of my photos from Africa. I still don't have
the words necessary to convey the feelings of my heart. Which tells me that most of what I
experienced and felt should stay where it is at. But there are several truths that I learned, or that
were reinforced in profound ways, on my trip to Zambia. And these feel important to share.

First, Mary's Meals is an inspired organization that is doing incredible good in the poorest
communities of this world. The way the program is set up, functions, grows and blesses
the lives of more than 1.5 million children (and their families and villages) every single day
is humbling and beautiful to witness. I want to be a part of @marysmeals for as long
as God allows me to be on this earth. I feel such gratitude to know of them, and to
be associated with them, for the last several years. And mostly, for the privilege
of my being a small part of their inspiring goodness for many years to come.

If you want to know anything about this organization, please don't hesitate to ask me.
It is one of my favorite things to share about and I promise you will be as fascinated and
in awe as I am. It is a whole lot of goodness my friends. You will love learning more, truly.

Sunday, November 24, 2019

God's kindness

There are moments in mortality that make me weep with gratitude for a God that is so good,
so kind, so loving, so merciful, so all-knowing, so...everything. This morning was one of
those moments, as Annie received her patriarchal blessing. I feel so honored to be her
mother and my Father in Heaven's daughter. God loves us. Of that, I have no doubt.

Friday, November 22, 2019

My darling Dad

My darling Dad joined me for Annie's play last night. He's the best. Any time I get to spend with
him makes my entire week and I'm so thankful for the Dad and Granddad he chooses to be.

Thursday, November 21, 2019

Stage face

There is no one that pulls better faces on stage than Annie Allen. And missing her opening
night of Matilda, because I was out of the country, was really hard for me. But I ran to the
first performance I could, just hours after I landed on Monday. Oh this girl, she is amazing.

On a side note, Annie is so like her dad, it is tremendous. She is so calm and sensible
and lovely and easy to be around. And yet, when I see pictures like this one I took at a
rehearsal before my trip, I realize that maybe her mother also contributed to her gene pool.

Wednesday, November 20, 2019

Our incredible Matt

One of the things I was the most sad to miss while away, was Matt speaking in
church last week. Jacob said he did incredibly well and I wasn't surprised in
the least. I read Matt's talk when I returned home and it really touched me.

Matt is named after my dad. And several of my dad's greatest attributes
and characteristics, Matt has also. One of those, is that he not only
speaks extremely well, but he has a way of writing that gets to the
heart of things, without flowery language and lots of extra words.
What he writes comes across as sincere and genuine and very wise.

Our Matt is just a really tremendous kid. I admire him more than he could
ever know and truly want to be more like him when I grow up. I often can't
believe that God's love for me is so great, He let me be Matt Allen's mom.

Tuesday, November 19, 2019

My new favorite answer when anyone asks how I am doing




This sweet little love wasn't feeling well when I got home. Her dad had been taking tremendous care of her, but she just felt junky, no matter what anyone did. Hopefully, the doctor can help out the situation in a couple of hours. I've missed my kids so much. I just love being the one that gets to take care of them and be here when they need me most. Being gone for so many days made me appreciate that even more.

And just because it was so dang cute...I was in the other room a few hours back and called out, "Gracie, how are you feeling sweet girl?" To which she replied, "I'm pretty much just a little bit okay."

Monday, November 18, 2019

Saying goodbye

Just over fifty-three hours ago, I flew away from this sunset and said goodbye to Zambia. I am
home now. And so very thankful to be with those I love most. But I'm having a hard time talking
about the last ten days in Africa because it feels so sacred and gorgeous and life-changing to me.

In the gospel of Luke, there is a verse in chapter two that reads, "But Mary kept all these things,
and pondered them in her heart." Much of what I experienced and felt alongside these beautiful
people, feels like it belongs in my heart. God shared with me truths and impressions that make me
weep when I think about them. I'm so grateful. But there are other things that I do want to share.
Photos and experiences that have changed me as a person. I need to have them with the rest of
our family history. And included in my life story. It may take some time, but they are coming.

Ten days ago, I left for Africa with a lot of excitement, humility and gratitude in my heart.
Today I arrived home. And all I can clearly articulate is our Father in Heaven loves us so deeply
and so perfectly, if we could glimpse that love in its entirety, even for a second, it would
take our breath away. And being among some of His children in a far off land--where life
isn't easy, but is so very joyful--brought that truth to my heart in a way I will never forget.

Sunday, November 10, 2019

Africa ~ A story in five parts


An amazing man I know was raised in a tiny, dusty corner of Nevada. As he grew, one of the great desires of his heart was to visit Africa. So, when he was about 18 years old, he did just that. He took the incredibly long journey from America to the beautiful continent of Africa. He spent time learning about the world outside of where he'd grown up, climbed Mount Kilimanjaro solo, accidentally walked into several dangerous wild animal situations and captured incredible photos that would touch his posterity in the years to come.

Previously, at the age of eight years old, this man had the opportunity to be baptized as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. But afterwards he had very little exposure to the Savior's gospel. But one day, while in a mountain village in Africa, he opened up the small Bible he had brought with him. He turned to the book of Matthew and started to read the Savior’s Sermon on the Mount. While he read, an overwhelming witness came to him by the power of the Holy Ghost that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God. The feeling was so strong and so intense that it changed his life. He returned home and prepared to serve a mission for the church he belonged to. And in the more than sixty years since that powerful moment, he has served his Heavenly Father tirelessly and constantly—on several additional missions, in his long career in the church's translation department, in his responsibilities and callings in the Lord's kingdom, in the sacred temple and mostly in his everyday life as a quiet, humble, powerful, and valiant disciple of his Savior, Jesus Christ.

That man is my father, one of the greatest men I have ever known. He is thoughtful and loving, has the most wonderful sense of humor, is incredibly kind to everyone he meets and serves endlessly. His example and goodness bless my life constantly and an enormous part of who I am is because of what he experienced in a mountain village, on the continent of Africa, more than six decades ago.

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Almost twenty years ago and through a series of incredible experiences and miracles, another tremendous man I know made the decision to devote his life to God by serving His children in a very specific and beautiful way. When this mission began, this believing and faithful man quit his job and literally began working from a shed to provide relief to the hungry. Though there was much goodness and effort and sacrifice before this time, it was when this fine Catholic gentleman visited Malawi and heard the words of a young boy that the mission of his life became clear. The sweet boy, who was literally watching his mother die before his eyes, responded to a question about what he hoped for in his life, saying simply, "I want to have enough food to eat and to go to school one day."

Today, just twelve years since those words were uttered, more than 1.5 million children living in the world's poorest communities are fed a meal in their school every single day. This man’s effort has transformed the lives of millions of children, as well as the lives of those who love them. And there is no end in sight. 

That man is the founder of Mary's Meals and close friend of my wonderful husband (and myself by association). His name is Magnus McFarlane-Barrow and I sincerely don't know of a more humble, more devoted disciple of Jesus Christ. All he desires in life is to feed the poor and the needy children of this earth. Because that is what Christ has asked him to do.

To this day, and even with the unfathomable growth of Mary's Meals, Magnus continues to work from the shed where it all started. He says that being in that shed, long after he could have moved elsewhere, reminds him of how and why he began this work. And with an additional 57 million children still going hungry every single day, he never wants to forget.

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Just over seven years ago, an incredible man I know, was hired by an organization to help them to have more impact in their charity work toward others, to make a bigger, more meaningful difference in the world. He had worked with numerous clients in the social sector, but none of them touched his heart more than this particular organization and their mission and their goodness. He worked hard to help them further their work and to relieve a greater amount of suffering in the world. Yes, it was his job. But mostly it was a privilege.

A few months after beginning work for this organization, this good man had an opportunity to travel to Malawi and see what he was trying to help grow, up close and in action. That trip changed something in him. And as he shared about his experience, it impacted his family—especially his wife—in profound and beautiful ways. 

Sometime later, after an unexpected prompting to move across the country and begin his own social impact practice within another company, his time of consulting with the aforementioned non-profit was over. That was a hard connection to lose. But it wasn't lost for long, as very few months later this person was again contacted by the same organization and asked to serve on their international board of directors. Continuing to work closely with this group and the wonderful people involved in its mission has been one of the greatest blessings in the life of this man and his family. And that faithful and loving man has often prayed with gratitude that God's kindness would let him be associated with such a tremendous organization for so many years.

That man is my amazing husband. Jacob Allen has a servant's heart, a brilliant mind, a humility I've rarely seen in another human, a desire to do every bit of good he can in the world and a deep love for his Savior, Jesus Christ. And being allowed the privilege of associating with and helping this charity, that goes by the name of Mary Meal's, to grow in their mission to feed as many of the world's hungry children as they can, is something he doesn't take lightly. My good husband desires so much to continue to make a difference for so many of God's children around the world. And he is doing just that. It is a beautiful thing to watch. Our Father in Heaven must be so grateful for those that love His children so well.

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Just over three weeks ago, Jacob approached me with the crazy idea of traveling to Africa to be a part of a humanitarian trip that Mary's Meals would be coordinating for their staff, directors, and spouses. It felt ridiculous to even consider it and yet with zero hesitation, I heard myself respond that yes, I did want to go. 

Once the initial shock of my answer wore off (actually, I'm not sure it has yet), we realized the likelihood of everything working out in time was next to nothing. And yet, less than seven days later everything was set. Mary's Meals had space for me, my shots were administered, the visa was figured out, the (multiple) airline tickets were purchased and on and on. I've never seen anything fall into place like this did. And my incredible husband insists on being the one to stay home to take care of our children and make everything about our life happen while I am away. And whenever I start to second guess what we have decided and tell him it is too much, he replies, "I could never do too much for you. You deserve much more than this after all you have done for all of us for almost 21 years. Linny, just go and enjoy." It brings tears to my eyes just to type that. Oh, I love Jacob Allen.

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Once there was a little girl that dreamed of going to Africa. It may have been because her dad traveled there when he was young and she wanted to be like him. It may have been because she wanted to be adventurous and exciting (even though she wasn't really that type). It may have been because she wanted to be surrounded by more of her brothers and sisters around the world. It may have been all three reasons, plus several more. 

But that yearning never left her heart. And as she grew older, whenever someone asked her where she would go if he could go anywhere, she replied she wanted to visit Africa. Especially to see the children and to make sure they knew God loved them. Not necessarily in words, but more importantly, in action. She wanted this so very badly. But also knew it was likely just a dream.  

That little girl is me. And I may be several decades older, but that childhood dream has never left my heart. Today, I am on my way to Zambia. I've seldom felt so much peace about a huge decision, coupled with incredible emotion and gratitude that this could actually be happening. In all honesty, I can't wrap my mind around it no matter how close it comes for me to leave. I’m just so overwhelmed with thankfulness—for my blessings, for this trip, for the three men I told you about and their gentle and profound influence in my life. But mostly for my Savior. Who created something as beautiful as Africa and as pure and wonderful as Zambian children. And then allowed me the privilege of visiting them both.

Saturday, November 9, 2019

Friday, November 8, 2019

Nathan Grant

Happy Birthday my sweet boy! You are so, so loved.

{EIGHT}

Tuesday, November 5, 2019

Sacred days

When I look at the birth date of this wonderful ancestor of mine, it makes me emotional.
 Last week, I was able to complete three of the temple ordinances for this relative and this
morning, I had the opportunity to finish the last one. It has been almost five hundred years
since Elizabeth Holland was born. I don't know exactly when she passed away, but even
without that exact year, there is no question she has been waiting hundreds of years for her
temple work to be done. It was such an honor to be a proxy for her last week and today.

And without sharing things that were only meant for my heart, I will just say that my
gratitude for my earthly father and my Father in Heaven feels overwhelming to me
tonight. They both allowed me the privilege of experiencing what I did on these sacred
days and I am so thankful. The gospel of Jesus Christ holds so much joy. And God loves
His children (on both sides of the veil) beyond what I could ever comprehend. But on
days like today, I catch a small glimpse of that love and it leaves me a bit breathless.

Sunday, November 3, 2019

Today

It was one of those Sundays when life feels right and good. Like the things that really matter stand
out and become more clear and more beautiful. And the things that don't, fall away. Because God
loves His children and we can know that just by asking Him. Those that have passed on live still,
of that I am absolutely sure. And it is such an honor to be a disciple of our Savior and Redeemer,
Jesus Christ. These two brothers are tremendous examples of that. I'm so grateful I know them.