Yesterday

Turning nine

Happy, Happy Birthday to my amazing Nate! He is kind and loving and athletic and brilliant and just

plain good. He loves his family and friends and sports and laughing and reading and his Heavenly Father.

It is just an absolute honor to be his mom. Happy Birthday my sweet boy! You are so incredibly loved.

Six days

I completed a marathon this week (plus an additional 8k, give or take).

It just took me six days. I'm clearly lightning fast. Like a cheetah. All joking
aside, I actually have zero desire to run a marathon. At least the kind you
finish in one day. I like my toenails too much. I like my plan much better.

 

November 6, 2020

Today marks the day that I've officially been married to Jacob, longer than
I was single before him. A day to celebrate for sure. I'm so grateful for him.
He is good and kind and loving and everything I could have ever prayed or
hoped for in the man that is my husband and our children's father.
I'm so blessed. Just so, so blessed.

 

(7990 days so far. Here's to 7990 more. Plus eternity. Oh I love Jacob Allen.)

My thoughts on today

"I know that my Redeemer lives,

Triumphant Savior, Son of God,
Victorious over pain and death,
My King, my Leader, and my Lord.

He lives, my one sure rock of faith,
The one bright hope of men on earth,
The beacon to a better way,
The light beyond the veil of death.

Oh, give me thy sweet Spirit still,
The peace that comes alone from thee,
The faith to walk the lonely road
That leads to thine eternity."

~ Gordon B. Hinckley

Five years

Five years today. I can't believe it. Loss and grief warp time and it simultaneously feels
like five decades and five weeks since I last held her hand and sobbed out my final, mortal
goodbye. But God's incredible kindness gifted me with a miracle a few weeks ago and
the light and brilliance and overwhelming love that accompanied this unspeakable and
undeserving offering still linger with me. I'll never forget it, never feel less grateful
for it, never stop praising His name for being so unimaginably good to me.

Oh my sweet Gram, thank you for being who you are and for being such an important
part of my life. I know I will see you again. I can't wait. But I will. Until God has
finished using me here. And then, I'll run so fast and anxiously into your arms,
it will feel like no time has passed. I love you Gram. And miss you so much.

{My darling Dad recently brought me these photos. Little baby Linn with her Gram. I love them so much.}

Happy Halloween!

...from our Tyler Herro and Cowgirl Grace!

Another picture day

Well, it's that time of year again friends. The time when all of you loyal
followers are rewarded for sticking with me on this blog journey.

And so, without further ado, behold I present to you, Matt's junior year photo.

He originally tried to convince me he didn't do anything unusual for his picture. I can't tell you
how disappointed I was when I thought he was serious. But once I saw his photo, I laughed
for a good five minutes and all was right in the world. Even though he told me he didn't have
much to work with (no accessories or additions in this photo), I still think he did a stellar job.

I seriously love this kid. One day I hope to be half as cool as he is at his young age.
Until then, I'll just be so thankful I get to be his mom, I could burst.


(Sophomore school picture here. Freshman school picture here.)

R2R2R

He's sincerely the coolest person I know. And not just because of what I'm about to share, but man, it doesn't hurt.

Jacob and our good friend, Scott, did a little thing yesterday. It's called rim to rim to rim. And it involves traversing the Grand Canyon. Twice. Just over 13 hours of moving time, right close to 50 miles completed and 106,666 steps taken to be exact. Holy squirrels folks, these guys are crazy. And amazing. And I'm so proud of Jacob I could burst.

We prayed a lot yesterday at our house. I knew Jacob could do it. I sincerely didn't question it for a second. But I also knew it would likely be more physically and mentally taxing than anything else he had done previous.

Oh he's amazing. Such an example to me and to our kids. And a lover of life and adventure. He's just so incredible. I really love Jacob Allen.

So much gorgeousness

Next to being really good people and loving their Savior, the two things that bring me
a whole lot of joy when I witness them in my children is their humor and their stellar
photography skills. Oh it is the best. And here is fabulous evidence of the photo talent
that several of them have, taken during their trip last weekend. I love them so much.
The kids and the pictures. First four are Matt's, second four were taken by Annie.

Bryce Canyon

Last weekend, my incredible husband took our kids to Bryce Canyon
for fall break. I had to miss the trip, as the person we had hired to take
care of our Denali girl, cancelled at the last minute. I really missed being
with everyone. But it might have been a small blessing, since the medicine
I take to keep my brain from its overproduction of spinal fluid was not
working  for some reason. And I think the extra rest helped.

Either way, I'm just so thankful for Jacob and for his being willing
and happy to make last weekend fun and memorable for the kids.
He's the best. They're the best. I'm so grateful they're mine.

Stand still

 "Let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still,
with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed."

~ Doctrine and Covenants 123:17

"Look Mom, I made IKEA pants!"

I'm seriously dying. You should HEAR her walk in them.

This child and her Sunday sewing adventures. She's the best.

A special day and a darling grandma

 
This sweet lady turned 92 today. I feel so thankful for her life, especially given all that
she's been through of late. And I'm just so honored to be her granddaughter and her friend.

This sweet, sweet boy

Oh, I love him.

Yesterday (but actually Sunday, when she didn't have her classes)

Turning nineteen

Happiest Birthday to my amazing Annie! She is kind and artistic and hilarious and brilliant and
gorgeous, both inside and out. She loves lettering and creating and lemonade and sunsets
and music and making life happy for everyone around her. It is an absolute honor to be
her mom and her friend. Happy Birthday my darlin' girl! You are so ridiculously loved.

Sweet Grandma Cammy

I could feel some sadness coming on a few days ago that I really couldn't pinpoint or find a reason for. Things have been really intense for me lately, so I let it go for a day or two, before I did the work to figure it out. The craziness of this year has made it so that I often have no idea what day it is, sometimes it takes me longer than it should to even figure out the week or month. But when I realized it was the beginning of October, my heart immediately knew what was going on.

The anniversary of Grandma Cammy's graduation from mortality is today. And the degree to which I miss her and the deep and profound impact she had on my life, made it so that my heart knew what was coming, even if my mind hadn't yet figured it out.

Being a part of Grandma's life for nearly 21 years was one of the greatest blessings the Lord has ever given me. Especially the last two years, as we became so close. She sincerely made me a better person and treated me, how I believe that God treats each one of us, more than any other person in my life ever has. I miss feeling the way she made me feel because she is the ultimate cheerleader and listener and laugher and lover of people.

So last night, as I was falling asleep around 12:30, knowing exactly what today was, I just cried. I cried out of selfishness and sadness and the strongest desire to once more sit in her presence and have her words and kindness and love make me feel the way she always made me feel.

Heaven is so blessed to have her. And gratefully, knowing that is my ultimate goal, I know that once we are together again, we don't need to be separated. That brings me an incredible amount of peace. But today, I'm just going to be sad. Because as I told Jacob's uncle (one of my favorite people in the whole world), when he called me exactly one year ago, to let me know she had passed on, "I don't want to live in a world that Grandma isn't a part of." Yes, today I'm just going to be sad. But tomorrow I'll work on peace. And know the Lord will send it to me.The same way he gave me the gift of Grandma Cammy. How I love and miss her.

{I love this picture of sweet Grandma and our darling Nate. He is named after her (Kathleen Grant and Nathan Grant) and has her incredibly sweet and good and happy personality. So much goodness in one simple picture. I just love them both so much.}

What I believe

Dear Friends,

I believe this is the most important election of our lifetime. Oh my word, does it ever matter. More than I think some of us realize ​or​ will admit. I believe I don't get to stay in my comfort zone and vote for what may be easy for me or less concerning for those who know me. I believe that the hours and hours and hours I've spent studying and reading and truly trying to understand, do make a difference.

And my intenti​​on is not to rock the boat or upset people or cause hurt feelings or put anything in anyone's face. Instead it is the stand up strongly for what I believe, because of how much our country and this moment matters. When my children and my grandchildren ask what I did at this pivotal time, for a country I love with every part of my heart, I want to tell them that I stood​ for what I knew was right. That I stood​ with my black brothers and sisters. That they mattered enough to me to go against the party whose conservative values I do relate to in many instances, but not at the expense of unkindness and racism and dishonesty and injustice. Never at that. Never, ever at that. I stand with women who have been brutalized and then cast aside, like it matters so little and should just be considered a part of life. With all people of color who are being abused and hurt and taken advantage of and who feel angry and scared and alone. With those with disabilities, who are being made fun of​ and then left to suffer​. Not on my watch. Not ever on my watch. I stand with science and unselfishness and wearing my mask to protect others. Because I care about them and want to show that​ in this small, powerful, unselfish way​. I stand with those with mental illness and substance abuse addictions and​ cheer loudly for their struggles when they are overcome, as well as when they are fighting through them, tired and weary and feeling broken and overwhelmed. And oh my word, do I stand with the military. You will never know the depth of my feelings of gratitude for those that have served and continue to serve our country (many of them close family members of mine). But I know my heart and I know that God knows my heart and anyone who criticizes or belittles or turns their back on that kind of sacrifice, will never be for me.

So while I have never put a political sign in my yard in my lifetime, there is one currently there at this moment. And the part of the sign that matters equally as much to me, as the names it advertises, is the bottom portion which reads, "Make America kind again."

I am a follower of Jesus Christ, first and foremost. And that means that I need to make the proper choices in word and in action. I fall short of that constantly. But I keep trying, because it matters so deeply to me. Because He matters so deeply to me. And in my moments of prayer and fasting and introspection and wanting to do what is right, I know without question that I've been told that no matter what a person professes their policies are, if their actions constantly convey unkindness and hypocrisy and racism and abuse and selfishness and dishonesty, those matter as much, ​​and even more so in ​most cases, than their professed policies. Character matters. A lot. If I wouldn't feel comfortable letting a person into my home, to be around my family, to talk to my children and to spend time with those I love, my vote will never be for them. Ever.

My prayers for this country are constant. As I said in a recent post, I know God loves America (as well as every other country)​.​ I know He does. And He has blessed it immensely. And will continue to do so. But He also asks us to stand up and make a choice and ​​to put in the work to make the best choice possible. I know that my choice is the right one for me​ and for what God has put on my heart​. It doesn't mean that I won't love any one of you who choose differently than me. Difference doesn't equal unlikability. But you'd better believe that ignorance and unkindness, instead of proper conversations and an intent to understand, both from others and especially from myself, are required. At least to be in this space and in my life. I have a duty to my family and to myself and especially to my God, to do all in my power to fill the world with as much light and goodness and kindness and acceptance and love as possible. I'll keep trying to do that, for my family, for my country, for my God. He does that, and much, much more for me, on a daily basis. It seems like the ​​least I can do for Him.

God has indeed blessed America. And my decision to stand up, as kindly and respectfully, yet ​​firmly and strongly, as I can at this time, shows Him I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful for Him. For His children, no matter their color or gender or struggles or failings or differences or similarities. I stand with God. And firmly believe He loves every single one of His children. And anyone who consistently says or acts as though this isn’t the case, isn't for me.

​But someone who I truly believe loves his country and people in general and who wants to do what is best for those that call this nation home, even if I am not in agreement with every policy that could be made, will go far further in my book than someone who openly and derisively does the opposite. Life-changing, country-altering damage can just as easily be a result of the corrupt and dishonest actions and character of another person, especially in a position of leadership, than by the policies a particular leader may or may not put into action.

Thank you friends. For taking the time to read what I feel strongly about. Whether you agree or not, I do appreciate the time spent. I choose not to go into this election without standing up for something I believe so, so strongly in. Especially at such a crucial time in history.

Take care wonderful people. I'm grateful for you. I'm thankful for every kind encouragement and every respectful disagreement. And mostly I'm grateful for each one of you. Thanks for letting me share my heart. It matters so much to me at this time.​

xOxO, Linn

Hear Him

It's general conference weekend, it's general conference weekend.

Did you hear me people, it's general conference weekend?!

Ahhh, my favorite weekend of the year.

September 30th

Twenty-two years yesterday, Jacob Allen asked me to be his wife. Lucky, lucky me.

And as an added bonus for all of you, a picture that Jacob keeps in his wallet,
of one of two high school dances that we attended together. You are mighty welcome.