Sweet grandma

She's done. Peacefully, in her sleep, her heart gave her permission to return home to that God who gave her life. Of course I have my selfish, emotional moments, but they are few and far between. Mostly, I just feel so grateful and happy for her.
 

You did it Grandma. You did it.

After thanking the sweet hospice workers and being there as the funeral home took her body away, I just sat in her home for a hour or so alone, feeling such gratitude and love, I couldn't stop the tears.

We've spent so much time together the last few years, I wouldn't know how to count it. And I wouldn't want to. It wasn't about time, it was about serving someone I loved deeply and having her return that love and service right back. I'm so grateful for the time with her. Especially the last week plus, when I was with her every day but one. Those memories, especially the one yesterday as I saw her for the last time here on earth, are sweet and sacred and I will cherish them forever.

Unexpectedly, leaving her home this morning was harder than I imagined. Knowing I wouldn't be back, after spending a huge amount of time there, makes me feel a little lost. I can't wrap my mind around the fact that I'm not headed back up tonight or tomorrow, to sit and talk and laugh and hold her hand.

But as I told her before they took her body away this morning, "I love you so much Grandma. I'll see you soon."

And I will.

Especially according to the new time zone she has entered. I can't wait.

Oh I'm happy for her. And miss her already.

Love you my sweet Grandma. Thank you for always being there for me when I needed you most. Please stay near.

Junior Prom

Matt and his beautiful prom date, Kella.
So grateful for these wonderful pictures and for the fun night these two had.

 

 

 

 Picture credit: ProlineImagery

My Uncle Elwin

 

My darling {Great} Uncle Elwin. What a sweet celebration of his life today.

My aunt once told me that anytime she mentioned my grandma or mom
to Uncle Elwin, he always asked "And how is our Linny doing?"

It sure made me emotional today to honor a good man who was always so kind to me.
Oh heaven is getting some amazing ones. But there are still some tremendous people
here in mortality with me. And I was so grateful to see and hug several of them today.

Prom night

 
My boy. On his way to prom. He's just the best and I adore him so crazy much.
I can't wait to see the group photos of him and his date, but in the meantime,
I'll just keep staring at this picture of our handsome Matt. I'm so honored
my Father in Heaven trusted me to be his mom. He's just tremendous.

Little darling

A walk around the park tonight with this little chicklet. Talking and laughing and smelling
flowers and seeing baby ducks. I just love this little firecracker something ridiculous.

Timp Half

Jacob and his fabulous brother, Jonathan, ran the Timpanogos Half Marathon on Saturday
morning. You know just 13.1 miles, several of those straight up a mountain. As you do.

All joking aside, it was crazy hard. But they did it. It was truly inspiring to me
to watch what they accomplished. And it made me so grateful for their fabulous
relationship. They are both good to the core. And amazing trail runners.

Quite the combo I'd say.

Mourning with those that mourn

I spent several hours today thinking about why the Lord entreats us to "mourn with those that mourn." And it has been such a blessing for me to ponder on this for an extended period of time.

In answer to that and in what feels quite obvious, I think the Father of us all wants us to be with each other exactly where we are at. In the grief, tears, heartache, sorrow and discomfort of those around us. Not trying to fix things or offer platitudes or force the silver lining or bright side on others. That isn't our job. The Lord will offer them His peace and safety and comfort, when it is right and when it is best for them to be able to receive it. Our job is just to be still, let Him be God and allow ourselves to be there for those who need us most.

In addition, I had a strong feeling during my pondering that yes, mourning with others is for them, but it is also so incredibly important for us. It changes our very nature in ways I don't believe we can change through other avenues. It makes us more compassionate, softer, less selfish, more aware, more like our Savior. And I most certainly need all of those attributes more fully in my life and in my heart.

Today was a beautiful day. Not an easy day for several family members I love so deeply, but still gorgeous in it's own way. Because mourning with those that mourn is exactly what our Elder Brother, Jesus Christ does for each one of us. It seems like the least we can help do for the rest of our siblings.

God's commandments are such a privilege to follow. How I want to always remember that.

Note: I don't have words for my feelings about that bottom picture. I so want to be like my Aunt Julie when I grow up.

Today

 Today I spent some alone time celebrating my mom and her life.

I still miss her so much. One day closer.

Our amazing girl

And then this beautiful Annie girl. She also finished her first year of college and I think
it's safe to say that her second semester was the best (not that doing online school while
living in your parents' home isn't fun...but it's not). These roommates had such a tremendous
influence on Annie (and knowing our girl, I'm sure she was also a wonderful influence
on them), never mention that they had might have had fun, fun and more fun together.

Annes is back home until she leaves in three months (I can't even think about it
without crying), but also has a super cool job in Provo she will be doing several
this summer. Ahh, this girl is amazing. It is such an honor to be her mom.

Golden hour

The golden hour, comp soccer and being with the three youngest and their darling dad. It was a good night.

Our incredible boy

This incredible boy of ours just finished his first year of college. He starts a new job next week and
is staying down in Provo to work and rent a home with friends and just be amazing. As always.
I'm so grateful for him. I'm so thankful he had such a happy year. And can't wait to see what
lies ahead. He's tremendous that Campbell Allen. It is such a privilege to be his mom.

A very good day

Just a super random picture of me sitting outside of Walgreens feeling so
happy and grateful because every member of our family who is eligible for the
COVID vaccine has received all of their shots. So much joy and thankfulness.

A weekend in St. George

Thanks to the kindness of one of the owner's of the company Jacob works for, we were
able to spend this last weekend in St. George. In a beautiful condo and mostly, all together
as a family. There is NOTHING I love more than having Jacob and all six of our kids
together for any period of time, never mention an entire weekend. Oh I loveth.

We took a hike. In weather that was so hot, I kind of wanted to die a little. For real. Grace needed to
turn around a bit early for a bathroom break and in an ironic twist that makes me want to cry when
I think about it, she and I ended up hiking the longest. I'm such a baby when it comes to cold
weather...and hot weather...and weather that isn't just the exact perfect temperature. Poor pitiful me.

And then we were able to quickly visit my aunt (my darling Dad's amazing sister) and
my big brother and my niece (oh they are fantastic). We were there for such a short period
of time, I was surprised we could fit seeing anyone in, but I'm so grateful. Love these
family members of mine a lot. And wish I had seen more. Next time I hope.

And nighttime fun at the condo and its amenities. The {only} good part of super

hot weather is that the evenings are lovely and you can play outside until quite late.

I just love this family of mine. So, so much. And am so grateful for kind friends and

family togetherness and laughing until I was sick and just my life. I'm so very blessed.

Hilarious

 
Dinner out with these yahoos tonight. Oh my word, I love them so much.

First semester finished...many more to go

Final exam finished. I loved it so, so much and felt kind of sad when I hit that final
submit button. Going back for another degree in your 40s is kind of glorious. You just
do it for the pure joy. Counting down the seconds until my next class starts for sure.

 

 
(And I was pleasantly surprised to earn the grade I wanted. I'm pretty relieved my old brain
can still hold its own at times. Oh man, I love learning about criminal justice something crazy.)

Joy

You know that feeling when you have a plan of what you'd like to get done that day, but suddenly it all
goes out the window and instead you spend several hours with someone that's much more important

than your to do list? And then you walk in the door and your house is clean (for at least the next 12

minutes until the children get home from school) and you look out at the chilly-bordering-on-rainy

weather and just feel so happy and grateful for your life you wonder if your heart might burst?

Yeah.

I love that feeling.