Lake Powell ~ Tuesday edition

Lake Powell ~ Monday edition

So deeply grateful

This darling girl

Shopping for missionary clothes with this beauty yesterday. She's the best. I startled more than one
person with one of my loud laugh bursts, but I couldn't help it, she's hilarious. Love this girl and her
good heart and all the wonderfulness ahead for her. But oh man, I'm going to miss her something crazy.

This is my sacred duty

I started to cry as we walked in the front doors last night. I know it
was a bit much, but I couldn't help it. I've missed it desperately.

Lunch with my boy

Love this oldest child of mine. He called yesterday to see if I had plans for the day, as he had the day off
work and wanted to drive all the way here and take me to lunch. It was so sweet to just have time to talk to
him about life and what makes him happy and what is on his mind. He's truly one of the most tremendous
people I know, with the best heart and the purest desires, and I love being his mom and his friend.

Another round of wisdom teeth

There are four less wisdom teeth in this boy's mouth today. It was super quick
and went well. Grateful he is feeling quite good tonight. Less grateful he
didn't act even slightly loopy from the anesthesia. Zero for three. Bummer.

Sacred and hard

I watched my greatest fear play out in the lives of our sweet friends this morning. Yet even with shattered hearts, their grace, goodness, vulnerability, honesty, light and mostly, their love, shined through. It was absolutely incredible to watch. And I couldn't quit weeping.

Do I know that their boy is safe and happy and protected and with his Father in Heaven and his Savior? Without question. Do I know that eventually every tear will be dried and all of this will be made okay in the end? Without a doubt.

And yet.

Even alongside that knowledge, this feels too hard. Like too much to ask of anyone and too much for a mother and a father and siblings and friends to have to lose. It feels heart-obliterating and life-altering and makes mortality seem cruel and cold and not worth living.

I believe those two truths can coexist. That this terrible tragedy doesn't need to be fixed or the perfect words shared or our friends told to focus only on the eventual good. We can trust God and still feel pain and hurt, the likes of which we didn't know was possible.

And that is why I sat in a room full of people today, all of us weeping together. Because God is good AND this incredible young man is no longer on earth. Because the Savior overcoming death means everything will eventually made right AND life feels so very long for Isaac's family right now. Because heaven is real AND losing a child feels like a version of hell here on earth.

Today was beautifully sacred and heartbreakingly hard. I'm so grateful for a God who knows we feel both and loves us through it all. And allows us to mourn with others when it matters the most. I was changed during the celebration of Isaac today. And I pray I let that change always remain with me.

Our trip to Powell

Seven days in Lake Powell. Twenty-one kids, eight parents, 183 sandwiches and 96 dangerous

jumps, flips and flops attempted. It was the best. We are home now and doing laundry like
professionals. Pictures coming soon. But let's not pretend like you didn't know that.

My sweet Mom

The sweetest picture of my darling mom. Today was such an odd day. I thought of her dozens
of times and wished deeply for one more moment to hug her, tell her I love her and to have her
near, even for only a second. Our third birthday without her here with us and it's still just as surreal.  

Happy Birthday my sweet Mom. One year closer.

My sweet girl doing what she loves most

Pure magic

I know I keep saying it, but this Narnia performance really was incredible. I knew it would be

amazing, but it blew any expectations I had out of the water. And the fact that I got to photograph
it was truly just an honor. The setting, the lightning, the dancers...it was just pure magic.

I wish I could share all of my favorite photos, but that would take a whole lot of posts.
So I'll settle for these ten. And be happy that I sent on the others to @illumedancecompany's
owners, teachers, dancers, students and parents. I hope they find as much joy in them as I did.
Because they represent a whole lot of talent, hard work, beauty, goodness and joy. And magic.

Have I mentioned the magic?