Campbell Jacob ~ This is twenty-two

Happy, Happy Birthday my amazing boy! You are so incredibly loved.

Three years

"We, buried dreams
Laid them deep into the earth behind us
Said, our goodbyes
At the grave but everything reminds us
God knows, we ache
When He asks us to go on
How do we go on?

So we will sing, to our souls
We won't bury our hope
Where He leads us to go
There's a red sea road
When we can't, see the way
He will part the waves
And we'll never walk alone
Down a red sea road.

Oh help us believe
You are faithful, You're faithful
When our hearts are breaking
You are faithful, You're faithful
Oh grant us eyes to see
You are faithful, You're faithful
Teach us to sing
You are faithful, You're faithful, You're faithful.

And we will sing, to our souls
We won't bury our hope
Where He leads us to go
There's a red sea road
When we can't, see the way
He will part the waves
And we'll never walk alone
Down a red sea road.

No, we'll never, walk alone
Down a red sea road
No, we'll never, walk alone
Down a red sea road."

It's still a day filled with questions and grief and difficult memories. But it's also a day of absolute
knowledge of where she is at and how close she remains to those of us who love her most.

Missing you deeply today Mom. Three years closer.


Song can be found here for those interested.

Pictures from Grace's baptism

Grace's special day

This sweetest little love was baptized a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on Saturday
by her darling dad. It was, along with five other similar experiences, one of my favorite memories of mortality.

We are so grateful for so many who came, or those who participated through zoom, to support our girl. It meant a lot.

Just love our Gracie girl so much and are so proud of her wonderful decision to follow her Savior, Jesus Christ.

Yesterday

Grace Susanna ~ This is eight

Happiest Birthday baby girl! We love you something ridiculous.

Cutest little tree climber

This man

He's everything I didn't even know I could pray or hope for in this life. The fact that God has given
me him for eternity is just beyond comprehension. I've been his wife for more than two decades
and in that time, he's given me the six greatest gifts I could never deserve. Oh I love Jacob Allen.

Our Hermana Allen

This is getting more and more real. I can't believe she is halfway done with home MTC.
But at least if she has to leave us, she for sure has darling luggage tags to use on her suitcases.
Ones she designed herself and let me order for her. It really is down to the super small things
I can do to show her how loved she is and how incredibly proud of her we feel.

College life, take two

This guy. He's so good. Especially to his mom. I asked for a
first day of school picture and he obliged. What a stud.

He began his second year at BYU on Monday and is really enjoying it, even though
he's as busy as can be. Working 30 hours a week, taking five courses, never mention
homework and as much of a social life as he can fit in--its a lot. He's amazing.

 

I just really adore him.

Our unstoppable God

For those who don't follow me on Instagram, you will likely not know what I am talking about here.
A dear friend, and dance teacher of Grace's, is in critical condition, after severe complications
during the birth of her fourth baby. We haven't quit praying. Cami is an absolute light to the world
and we can't quite wrap our minds around the fact that this is happening to her. But we do know
our God to be a God of mercy, miracles and goodness. We are so grateful for that knowledge.

 

 The last few times I have donated blood, it has given me a terrible rash at the needle
site, that spreads quite far and is extremely agitating for a couple of weeks. I actually
enjoy giving blood, as it feels like something small that truly makes a difference.
But of late, the result makes it hard to work up the will to actually make it happen.

But this morning, I got on the FB page for our sweet friend and Grace's dance teacher,
Cami, and saw that they were requesting blood donations. Not only that, but an anonymous
donor would give $20 to Cami's family for each of the first 100 people who donated.

And immediately, I knew that a couple of weeks of an annoying rash was nothing
compared to what Cami and her family are going through, not to mention the privilege
of helping anyone in a situation desperate enough for a blood transfusion.

Gratefully and miraculously, when I got on to make an appointment, they had one in an hour.

On the way to my appointment, I had my music playing and
from my speakers came these words to a favorite song...

Nothing can stop an unstoppable God.
He's not afraid of impossible odds.
This is the promise that I'm standing on.
Nothing can stop an unstoppable God.

That is indeed the promise I am standing on.
For Cami, for me, for so many I love, for all of us.

I testify that nothing can stop an unstoppable God. The outcome is one
He knows and that can forever be turned to our good. If we only turn to Him.

God is good. Always.

This boy

He does everything with his whole heart. And considering how outstanding his heart is, what he
does is beyond incredible. Especially soccer. How I love having a front row seat to his games and
his life. He's good and hilarious and kind and amazing. Love this boy of mine something fierce.

Scriptures, truths and the names of so many I love

Oh, life feels heavy of late. For so many reasons. I've started a post over and over again in the last many days (writing is almost always how I process things) and have deleted it every time. It just hasn't been right. So I'm not going to force it until it is.

In the meantime, a missionary email I received today (from our friends' son) really touched my heart. Especially when he shared how much he has loved underlining verses in his mission scriptures with the favorite passages of his friends and family, writing their names nearby.

I love this idea so much, I can hardly stand it. Because there are few things in life that matter to me as much as you wonderful people that I feel so thankful to know and to love.

So friends, in general, but especially during this time in our nation and world and community that feels like a lot, would you mind sharing your favorite scripture with me? Or just one that you love and means a lot to your heart? Please feel free to email me, text me or let me know in person. I'll take it however I can get it. And be so very thankful.

I truly can't wait to fill up the pages of my scriptures with the truths that touch your heart, alongside your name, that most definitely touches mine.

Thank you dear friends. So grateful for you. And hope you can feel that. Not only during the hard times...but always.

I've already bought the new flag

The happiest news for our darling missionary today! Her reassignment arrived and she has
been called to the Washington DC North mission. I can't think of a more wonderful place for
her to serve, as she waits to see when and if she is able to travel to South America. We are
just so very thrilled. Uruguay and DC. DC and Uruguay. God is so very good. Always.

Another school year begins

Monday was the first day of school for this 12th grader, 8th grader, 4th grader and 2nd grader.

Week one down

She finished her first week of the CCM (Centro de Capacitación Misional).

And she did it with the best attitude, the most obedient heart and the cutest companion.

Ack, only five weeks left before I have to let my girl go. I'm so not ready.

Two first days of school

My darling boy. Pictured here about twenty-two days apart. Give or take. How in a field of tulips
do we have another senior at our house? The ridiculousness of it is a little much for my heart.
But oh I love this boy and his incredible goodness and the way he makes us laugh every single day.
I could do without the senior thing already. But not without our Matt. I'm so honored to be his mom.

The best news

No surgery! Oh friends, we are so thankful for your thoughts and prayers.
We only wanted what was best for our girl, even if it meant having surgery,
but we will take the non-operative route with a whole lot of gratitude.

Grace is the proud owner of a much smaller cast, with more mobility in her
elbow and hand. I'm just so thrilled for her. She has never complained one
time, throughout this all, and just laughed as they cut off her old cast and
put on the new one, asking a million questions about how it all works.

Love this baby girl something fierce.

And also super much love that she realized, after looking at pictures,
that she had accidentally worn the same shirt to both of her first
two x-rays. So she made sure to put that one on again today.

Follow us for future fashion advice. You won't be sorry.

Our darling girl

Sweetest baby girl at her baptism interview with our bishop,
before her decision to be baptized a member of The Church of Jesus Christ

of Latter-day Saints next month. Love her and her incredible heart.

Sister Allen

My girl has a new title.

Last night she was set apart as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ
of Latter-day Saints. She is officially a full-time representative of her Savior
and has left behind so very much, in order to serve Him and to share His love,
light, knowledge and gospel with her brothers and sisters that live on earth.

I'm so overwhelmed with her goodness, her faith, her purity and her
choices. It isn't that it isn't hard or scary or unknown or a lot to ask of a
nineteen-year-old young woman. But rather, her decision to have the
faith and trust in her God, in order to do it anyway, is enough.

We are so deeply proud of her. She has officially begun the HMTC
and it makes our home and life feel different. More beautiful,
more sacred, more worth the small sacrifices--resulting in more
of a closeness to God we are always desiring as His children.

Oh I'm so grateful for this incredible oldest daughter of ours.

My girl. My Annie. My Sister Allen.

Oh I love this man

Alongside him, I've been through the most glorious highs and the darkest lows. And so very much in between. But he's never given up on me or us or himself.

He loves, he praises, he encourages and like every human, he can even get frustrated. But he always chooses to move past it and make our marriage matter above all.

He calms me, he prays with and for me and he fights for every one of our kids in every aspect of their lives. He gently pushes our little family to greater places, to more exciting adventure and to keep going, no matter what comes our way.

He is safety and goodness and humility and brilliance and perspective and provision and faith and testimony and just so much love wrapped up into one tremendous human being.

I'm so thankful to have lived life by his side, these past twenty-two and a half years...with eternity ahead of us. Oh I love this man. With all that I am and all that I so want to be someday.

I'm so overwhelmingly honored that God allowed me to be Jacob Allen's wife.

Cast decor

These sisters do something to my heart. Especially after watching them earlier today. That second
picture is Grace's cast after Annie finished her amazing decorating. You really have to see it in
person, it's beyond, beyond. Annie is just amazing. We are going to miss her something ridiculous.

Oh the cuteness

Can we talk about this polaroid my Dad gave to me a while back? I mean seriously, my little brother is
so stinkin' cute I can hardly stand it. Although, not sure my incredible bangs and the ultra flattering cut
of my dress couldn't give him a run for his money. Add in the horse background and this picture is gold.

An update on Grace's arm

 
And the plot thickens...

Grace had another x-ray this morning at the orthopedic surgeon's office. Unfortunately, the bone has shifted a bit more. But it doesn't appear to be enough for surgery at this point. Which makes us feel very grateful.

But in order to increase the likelihood that it doesn't shift again and make surgery necessary, they made the decision to put a harder shell on the outside of Grace's splint (which they didn't want to remove because it could destabilize the bone) with the hopes it would keep things more secure than the wrap she has been wearing for almost two weeks.

(Is it even possible to follow this story of the ridiculous details?)

So little G is the proud owner of an old splint and a new cast. And a momma who sure is praying we can avoid surgery if at all possible (but can absolutely handle if surgery is best).

Our girl just smiled through it all, understanding what was happening and the plan and excited for the crazy pink brightness that is hers to keep until the final x-ray in about ten days.

Okay, there is our update. Thank you so much for caring and for your prayers darling friends. I feel happy and calm and know it will all work out wonderfully, no matter what comes our way. I mean if nothing else, it makes for a fun {if not totally confusing} story to tell.