God loves us

This I know.

Ben's final fall soccer game

Remember

After my grandma passed away, I was gifted this small angel from a shelf
in her home. For six years, it has stayed on my nightstand, next to my bed.
I’ve always loved that the bottom of the angel reads “Remember.”

It would be impossible for me to forget her, so instead, I use this small
figurine to remind me constantly of other important things my grandma
loved in mortality—her family, the gospel, the temple, her Savior.

Six years closer to being with you again Gram. Missing you today and always.

Nate's final cross country meet

Happy Halloween!

Happiest Halloween from our beautiful Belle and mighty Messi!

Finally

Jacob and Matt are away on Matt’s 16th birthday trip. You know, the one we gave
him almost two years ago (thanks pandemic). I love what an incredible time they
are having and can’t wait to share their photos once they get back. But for now,
this beach sunset makes me so happy. Oh I miss living by the water. A lot.

Nate's fall soccer season

This stud finished his soccer season last Saturday, in a very wet game.
But that didn’t stop him from getting a hat trick or his team from going undefeated
this fall season. Love this boy and his ridiculously athletic self so crazy much.

Oh fall, you are kind of the best

Mondays and miracles

Holy frijoles I love this girl of ours! Her letter this week was gold and I couldn’t

quit laughing. She’s just so hilarious and that alone brings me all kinds of joy.

And then there were the miracles. Experiences or opportunities that may seem
simple or ordinary to many missionaries are truly miraculous to this girl right
now. And she and we are so thankful. God is so kind. It just overwhelms me.

Oh I love Mondays. And our Hermana Allen. A whole lot.

This I know

One of my greatest possessions.

Inside this small holder is my temple recommend, which I had the opportunity
to renew today. I’ve never answered the sacred questions, asked by a wonderful
leader in my area, about my worthiness and desire to be able to serve in the holy
temple, without tears. Because the answers to those questions are ones that I know
independently of any other human and for which I’ve fought and wrestled hard to
absolutely know. They mean everything to me and they change everything about me.

I’m far from perfect. Really, really far. But even in my imperfection,
there are things I know to the deepest part of my heart and soul.

I know of God’s reality and His eternal love, of my Savior’s Atonement and constant
presence in our lives, of the fact that we have a living prophet on this earth to lead and
guide and love us, that purity and honesty and loyalty matter. How I love the gospel of
my Redeemer and His church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints with my
whole heart. And how humbled and honored I feel to have the privilege of being able
to enter into the House of the Lord, in order to learn more, to be more, to love more.

I’m so grateful. I’m so blessed. I’m so undeserving.

Darling boys and gorgeous views

The view after Nate’s cross country meet yesterday afternoon. Ahh, I loveth.
Our boy took 8th this time and he still thinks @daviscountyracecats is the best .
He’s not the only one. Love our Nathan boy something ridiculous.

Messy and awe-inspiring and loved

My sweet missionary girl shared the most beautiful thought on FB this morning.
It brought me to tears. She is something else. And is such a huge contributor to my life
footprints. As much as I miss her, and boy do I, I would be selfish not to want her to exactly
where she is at. The Savior needs her. The world needs her. God's children need her. Because her
footprints are all over the sand of our Father's children. And all of us are better because of it.  

                        I'm sure you've heard the story of the man after he gets to heaven.

                        When he meets Christ and there's two sets of footprints representing his life.

                        And at the hardest parts, there's only one set.

                        "Why did you leave me then?"

                        And Christ tells him,

                        "Don't you see? That's when I was carrying you".

                        I love that story.

                        I have been carried by Him many many times.

                         I think I'd be surprised at how often there was only one set of footprints in my sand.

                        But what if...

                        What if there was more than two sets?

                        What if Christ didn't send us to the earth by ourselves?

                        What if our mom's footprints were right there with us, and our dad's, and our
                        siblings, and our friends, and our cousins and uncles and aunts and grandparents 
                        and our ministering angels and the random person who said "hey you're really
                         pretty" or the chick fil a worker who gave you 9 chicken nuggets instead of 8?

                        What if our elementary school friends had footprints in our sand, and our teachers
                        that believed in us, and our coaches and that random person on Instagram you look up to?

                        What would our beach look like?

                         It would be messy.

                        And awe-inspiring.

                        And you wouldn't even be able to see individual footprints.

                        You'd have no idea when you were being carried.

                        And what if you were being carried the entire time?

                        Almost like a supportive, loving crowd surf.

                        What if some footprints wandered off?

                         And what if some wandered in and stayed right beside yours and didn't leave?

                        What if Christ didn’t send you here alone?

                        What if you have thousands of footprints on your beach?

                        And what if at the hard parts, when it didn't feel like anyone was with you, there
                        were double the amount of footprints, where the sand was whiter underneath,
                        almost like whoever stepped there came straight from heaven?

                        And what would happen if you ran to someone else's beach for a quick second, just
                        to squeeze their hand and to stomp your personal footprint in their sand and let
                        them know you love them?

                        And joined their supporting crowd surf for a minute?

                        What if you did that every day to someone different?

                        You'd make so many footprints, and wouldn't your beach gain footprints?

                        And Christ, the one set next to you the whole time smiled and looked back at your
                        life and your messed up stomped-all-over beach and He said,

                        "Don't you see? I never left. And you were always loved. Always."

 ~ Hermana Annie Allen

Changing who I am

I spent several hours in the temple this morning—a nearby temple I’ve never had the chance

to be in until today. I loved it so much. Every second I spend in the House of the Lord changes

who I am. In important ways I could never accomplish on my own. I’m just so thankful.

Like a cheetah

This darling speedster participated in his very first cross country meet today. He was so excited,
we were so excited, it was kind of the best. And running 1.86 miles in 13:23 isn’t too shabby.
Especially when it means you come in 9th out of more than fifty boys your age. Love this boy and
his willingness to work ridiculously hard at something pretty dang cool. And super much adore
@daviscountyracecats for their amazing program and fantastic coaches. We are big fans at our house.

My little buddy

The other day, I was looking for something on our family blog and came across something I had written about one of the sweetest boys that God has ever blessed me to know.

I’ve never forgotten my little friend, but I realized after reading what I wrote, I had let some of the details of our friendship slip away. I’m so grateful for the reminder of this incredible boy and his beautiful life.

It seems that God has long been teaching me the absolute reality of heaven. And while it has been fourteen years this past weekend since this amazing boy graduated from mortality, I have never stopped being grateful for this guy who stole my heart and let me be his friend. He’s one of the many I can’t wait to see again someday. He’s exactly what his sweet mom was inspired to name him at birth.

Actually, I believe he was that long before he officially finished his life here on earth.

Still remembered, still missed, still my little buddy.
 

Pink slippers, heavenly birthdays and one darling grandma

Several weeks before Grandma Dawn passed away, she gifted me with these slippers.
She had bought them for herself, but had only worn them once or twice because she felt unsteady
with the sole and was afraid she would fall. So she wanted me and my “young feet” to have them.

If you know Grandma at all, you know these slippers are so her. I smile every time I put them on.

But today especially, I’m smiling a little extra. Because today is Grandma’s birthday.
The first since her graduation from mortality. And I’m just so thankful for her and
the incredible impact she had on me. She’s so happy where she is at and for that I am
grateful. But it feels so odd not to be visiting and laughing with her on her special day.

Instead, I’m wearing her slippers and remembering our wonderful times together.
And wishing her the happiest birthday in heaven.

A pretty good venue for a birthday party if you ask me.

Finished

This morning I received an email letting me know that one of my dearest friends from our time in Boston had passed away. I was so very happy for her, I just cried.

If you are interested, at this link you'll find something I wrote about this sweet woman many years ago. Which will explain my joy at her entrance into heaven last night.

Both of the women in the story I shared, who were my counselors during a church responsibility of mine that was both overwhelmingly beautiful and so very intense, have gone on to their heavenly home. I will love them forever for how they served and loved and cared. They both became close friends of mine for this life and the next.

So picturing their reunion in heaven last night has me a bit jealous. I long to be with them again someday and just feel so joyful for both of them, for how well they lived mortality and that heaven is their home again.

Heaven is real. I know that as deeply as I know anything. And one more person I love is waiting there to welcome me back one day. I'm so grateful.

The happiest news

Just two days shy of eleven weeks, this little sweetheart is finally free of left arm
accessories. She is going to wear her brace during certain activities during the next
couple of weeks, just to be extra careful, but her final x-ray showed that not only has
the bone gone back into place, but the bone regrowth in the last four weeks is pretty
tremendous. We are so very grateful—for the news, for the incredible healing and mostly
for this girl. The way she has handled every second of this experience has been nothing
short of amazing. Just happy and obedient and the cutest little love in all the land.

Our missionary birthday girl

Oh sweet girl, we are missing you like crazy today! But are so glad you are happy and healthy
and thriving and as always, hilarious. The thought of you turning twenty is pretty much nutso,
but who you’ve chosen to become is pretty much incredible. We are so grateful you are ours. 
Happy, Happy Birthday our amazing Annie, you are SO very loved!

Two long years

Two years without the world’s greatest cheerleader, praiser, laugher and lover of people.
I miss everything about her. I remember when I received the phone call from Jacob’s sweet uncle
with the news, all I could sob out was, “I don’t want to live in a world that Grandma Cammy
isn’t a part of.” And I still don’t. Heaven could never be heaven without her and I long for it
with an intensity I can hardly describe. Especially on days like today. She’s all that is good
and right and loving and perfect. I’m so grateful she’ll never stop being my grandma.

Matt does his mother proud...again

Just when I didn’t believe it was possible to make his last school photo better than the three
previous, this boy goes and proves me wrong. Please feel free to zoom in to see his very real
looking, very fake scar (thanks to Annie before she left). Someday I should tell the story behind
how he got the poor photographer to use this as his senior picture, because it makes it 1000 times
better. But for now, I will just leave it here for your viewing enjoyment. With the previous three
years to the right so you can appreciate the entire collection. You are welcome. And yes, I could
not be more proud. And if you think I’m kidding, you clearly don’t know me very well.

          

Mondays are the BEST days

She's so happy. I'm so grateful.

These six darlings

The other night after taking pictures of the kids all together before Annie left (yes, I will
soon be posting them because I love them muchly), these chicklets of mine stopped to
play at the park together. Oh my word, I adore them. I’m so honored to be their mom.

Birthdays and soccer

 This handsome boy, and his darling dad, went to the Real Salt Lake game last night, as a part of
Campbell’s birthday earlier this month. Love them both so crazy much and feel so thankful for any time
either one of us gets with this grown son of ours. He is something else and being his mom is truly the best.

These I love

The very last picture of all of my chicklets together for the next year and a half.