Jacob's Guatemala trip

Very similar to the work he did in Africa last month, Jacob was in Guatemala for almost two weeks this month,
to once again help the LDS church evaluate and measure their malnourishment initiative in the country.
It was another beautiful and sacred trip for him and I just feel so grateful for this experience he had and for
the incredible people in Guatemala. We've loved Guatemala for a long time and Jacob's trip there certainly
didn't lessen that love he and Annie (and even I by proxy) have for its beauty, its people and its culture.
I'm so thankful for the opportunities Jacob continues to have and the good he continues to do.

An ace for this incredible boy

This stud got an ace (hole in one) today during a disc golf league. The older guys he was playing with
 went nuts—because aces hardly ever happen in disc golf. I loved hearing about it when Ben got home and
 imagining that moment for him. And I love that per tradition, everyone he was playing with signed his ace disc.

This boy loves disc golf so crazy much. He plays every chance he gets and while he will hate that
 I’m saying this, he has become incredibly good in a short period of time. It makes me so happy to see
 how much joy it brings him and how hard he is willing to work at it. He’s just the coolest.

A moment I never want to forget

Late last night, Ben had finished what he needed to do and was the last one upstairs with me.
He told me good night and I went into my room to finish getting ready for bed. More than
ten minutes later, I went out to check on Denali before I went to sleep and this is what I saw.

I went back into my room and could not quit crying. So sweet and heartbreaking, all at the same time.

Our sweet girl's birthday

Every year on her birthday, I text her previous owner and thank her for letting Denali be a part of our family for the last
many years. And today was no different. Except I had to share the heartbreaking news we received back in August.

I’ve had to focus hard today to not think about this being our last birthday with our Denali girl. Instead, we’ve
just spoiled her—a small cheeseburger of her own, everyone in the family petting her every time they walk by,
some time outside running around. She’s such a simple little love—she’s not really into treats, she doesn’t care
for toys, she just wants to run free and be with her people. So that is what we’ve done on her 13th birthday.

It’s been a good day for our Denali Blue. And for us to have her here. As her wonderful owner that raised
her and trained her so well said today, “she’s such a special soul.” And she is. I’m so thankful she’s ours.

Life lately

Annie, Grace and I went to a performance of Beauty and the Beast that our darling niece and nephew,
Adele and Isaac, were in a few days back. Oh I loved it. They were truly incredible. And watching Adele
as the lead brought me to tears multiple times. I thought I only cried when I saw my own kids on stage.
I was wrong. Oh this family and these people are some of my favorite humans ever. And I don't say that lightly.

Campbell invited us to a Jazz basketball game with him earlier this week and Jacob, Ben and Nate decided to join.

They all bought tickets on the very top row and just went to enjoy a fun game and cool atmosphere. But when

the boys joined up at Jacob's work to walk over, a coworker saw them going and mentioned he had been gifted

some tickets he couldn't use tonight and did they want them? Oh my kindness. They ended up on the ninth row 

and had some additional food perks included. Um yeah. So that wasn't the saddest night for these four for sure.

There aren't enough words to describe how much I love our niece, Allie. Honestly, she and Annie are
truly twins and if you want to be around light and goodness and sunshine, all while laughing constantly,
hang out with the two of them. So going through the temple with Allie for her first time, before she 
leaves on her mission in a few weeks, was a favorite memory for sure. Oh I love that girl something
fierce. And having President Oaks and his beautiful wife in our session was just a really sweet bonus.

This is a hard season with our Denali. She still has good times, but the hard moments are more often and
more difficult. She's still the sweetest and I cry over what is to come on a regular basis. She had a rough

couple of days this week and I just felt strongly we couldn't leave her for so many hours on Thursday.
So she and I had a quiet Thanksgiving here at home. And I don't regret it at all. Even if I did miss being
 with Jacob's family, as they are the best and Thanksgiving at his sister's house is always a favorite.

Kelsey had the fabulous idea to go to Wicked together, just the girls, over the Thanksgiving break.
And that is exactly what we did. And loved it so very much. In full disclosure, I actually saw it twice before
we all went together (once alone and then once with Jacob) because I needed to see it all by myself to see
how I would react. I have a really deep love of and connection to the story of Wicked. Really deep. And so
I was worried about seeing it for the first time with the girls and being an absolute mess. I’m glad I prepared
myself. And loved it so crazy much, I had to take Jacob—who also loved it. But going altogether,
with our three daughters, was truly the best and I never want to forget that perfect memory.

Speaking of movies, after all of our kids arrived home for Thanksgiving, Annie decided that since Kelsey had
never seen a Hallmark movie, we should watch one together, just the girls. So we did. And it was absolutely
hysterical. Because we ended up being more like commentators, rather than observers—and hilarious
doesn’t even begin to describe how entertaining these girlies are when they get going.

Then, three nights later, Annie’s darling friend, Celeste, came over and we all watched another Hallmark movie.
This one because Annie and Celeste had been extras in it, earlier in the year, and it just came out. In that last photo,
you can see Annie and Celeste walking on the right of the screen. They actually appeared a whole lot at the end
 of the film and we had the best time spotting them—then rewinding and pausing and laughing and cheering
about it all. Especially the cheesiness of the movie. Because oh boy what a plot.

So I guess you could say it’s been a really sweet many days. I’m thankful for all of it.

Our beautiful dancer

This darling dancer performed in two separate recitals, five dances and five different costumes total,
for two different nursing homes in the area last night and tonight. I love that the company Grace dances
with does a show of gratitude (actually multiple shows of gratitude) every November and that so many
sweet grandparents are the recipients. What a beautiful thing to be a part of every Thanksgiving season.

Jacob's Africa trip ~ DRC

The last half of Jacob's trip was spent in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. Whenever I think of these days Jacob experienced, I get emotional. It's just so much suffering to even remotely wrap my mind around. I've spent hours thinking through the experiences Jacob shared with me and while most of what I have felt and worked through needs to stay in my heart, I want to share what very few things I know, with every part of my struggling soul.

First, there is so much about mortality that just doesn't make sense. Second, I am beyond undeserving of absolutely everything I have. And third and mostly, my God is so very, very good. I can trust Him with the things I don't understand and that feel so hard and difficult, no matter what they might be. And He will hold them safe, alongside my heart, until the day I do understand. And praise Him for what He was willing to ask of each of us. What I won't do is allow what my mortal mind can't comprehend to change my love for Him. Instead, I will  use it to make it change who I am, in order to become who I promised Him I would become. And to do more, to give more and to be wildly uncomfortable, on behalf of others, more. It matters. It matters a lot. And I want to do better—today and always.

I'm so thankful for what Jacob was willing to do to help our sisters and brothers in Africa. And I'm thankful for what he was willing to do in order to help me change who I choose to be. Both have filled me with a gratitude that it is hard to put into words. But I will keep trying. It's the least I owe my Father.

He's just so magnificently good.

Note: I'm so deeply grateful for several of the photos in the middle of this post that Jacob's coworker, Mike, took.
They will be some of my favorite pictures of Jacob forever and I'm so thankful he took the time to get them.