A work trip to Sierra Leone

Jacob spent nine days in Sierra Leone this month and saw some amazing miracles that God brought to
pass, so he could accomplish some pretty intense and time-sensitive work for the church. It was a more
difficult trip than the last few, but I never once heard Jacob complain. He just laughed that he had to
shower with a bucket, that he had to ask for soap and toilet paper at one of the hotels, that the heat and
humidity was intense beyond words and that there was one area where securing food was pretty much
impossible, so he was glad he had a few granola bars during those days. It was hard for me to think
about him going through that, but it wasn't hard for Jacob. He just did what needed to be done and
thanked God for how he made many things possible that looked very impossible when the trip began. 

We are still so honored to have been chosen to do this work that matters a whole lot. It is beautiful and
 good, difficult and exhausting, right and chaotic. Kind of like life. But that is exactly the combination
 that God sets His hand on and helps to thrive. It's incredible to watch. And humbling to be a part of.
Oh our God is mighty and good. And loves His children beyond imagination. It's beautiful to witness.

Sacred and hard

The most beautiful and difficult reminder today of the fragility of life, the tremendous blessing
of sitting in a room with some of the most awe-inspiring people I have ever known and just
overwhelming gratitude for God and His plan, beyond what I could ever convey. So many tears
and the strongest desire to be more like Matt. And to never stop being thankful for my Savior
who gave everything so that this isn't the end for Malerie and Matt and their sweet family.
Today was so sacred to me. I'll forever be grateful for the privilege of being there.

Eighteen years of our amazing Ben

This incredible birthday boy

 
Happy Birthday to our incredible Benjamin! The fastest of eighteen years with the most amazing of
young men. Watching this boy grow and mature into who he has become is such a privilege. He’s hilarious
 and good, kind and quick-witted, inclusive and brilliant, talented and driven. He craves authenticity and depth
in his conversations and friendships and in life in general. He cares about people, the world around him
and being more like his Savior. He just quietly goes about doing a whole lot of good.

I’ll never forget when Ben was born, too early to breathe well on his own. And I sat by his bedside
in the NICU, with tears streaming down my face. Not because of my worry for his health gratefully,
 God had already assured me he would be fine, but because I was absolutely overwhelmed with who
he was in his soul and I could feel that goodness and power, in that tiny five pound six ounce body,
to the point that it took my breath away. I knew then, and I still know now, what a honor it is to
be entrusted with this boy and to be his mom. I’ll never stop thanking God for the privilege.

Happiest Birthday Benjamin Jay, we love you so much son!

The days between Christmas and New Year's

Annie took the two youngest skiing. She's the best big sister.

Jacob and Nate had a chance to join Nate's friend and his dad on a quick skiing trip
to Jackson Hole. It was fantastic. And was made that much better by Nate and Jack
meeting Kai Jones (the lovely, waving fellow to the right) on their last morning there.

Grace and I saw Frozen at Hale Centre Theatre one evening and it was absolutely amazing.
Yet even with that, I still enjoyed watching Grace's reactions more than the actual play.

Jacob took some of the kids to the driving range on New Year's Eve and all of them bowling later that
night. The wait for their turn took so long, they decided to do a few arcades. Oh he's the best dad.

Grace found out I had never actually seen the movie Frozen and one night, we watched
 most of it in my bed (still need to finish the last little bit before she heads back to school).
Pretty good movie for sure. I really should have watched it a year or twelve ago.

Nate and a few of his teammates competed in an 3v3 indoor tournament that his club put on during the
break. And went undefeated in four games to win the championship. Oh this boy loves soccer.

And while I'm truly so happy for him and of course it is right, our sad news of the break
is that Matt moved out. He's living with some wonderful friends, not too far away
(but closer to his work and school). They found a fabulous place and it is going to
be great. But we already miss him. A lot. Gratefully, we still get to see him often.
Oh kids growing up and moving away. It's the best and the worst, all mixed up together tight.

A day of heartache and gratitude

Even with my immense happiness for him, this one feels like a little too much. Especially following
the heart shattering news regarding a dear friend yesterday. Life already felt far too fragile and I’m kind
of not interested in a world President Jeffrey R. Holland isn’t in. At least right this moment. He changed
 me in ways only my God truly knows. I’ll never stop being grateful for him. He did what he was asked
 so well, just so very well. I’m so happy for heaven. And for all of us who knew him on earth.

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound

That saved a wretch like me

I once was lost, but now I’m found

Was blind, but now I see

The BEST humans

27 years

I don't believe it is a coincidence (even without it being a conscious choice we made) that Jacob and I
 were married on the day that officially signals the beginning of more light and life coming into the world.
I don't know what could more adequately sum up my marriage, or the gift of our family, than that.

He, and his overwhelmingly bright light, have stood beside me, every single day of the last twenty-seven years.

Through moments so hard, that they took my breath away with how horrific and earth shattering they felt. 

And moments so full of joy and peace, it felt like heaven was actually here. Or we were there. Or both.  

And everything in between. A whole lot in between. 

Jacob has never given up on me or our children and if anything, has shown up for all of us even
more the last many months, than ever before. And oh my word, that is saying something. 

He has exceeded every expectation of a husband and father, I never even knew to have, 

He truly is the greatest example of light and love in my life, next to the Savior and my Father.
That tangible, sit-by-my side, listen and care, laugh and believe, work through the exhaustion,
hold me when my world is crumbling, stay when it often would be easier to check out, joke and
smile and focus on the positive, show up again and again and again. And then again, kind of light.

That is Jacob Allen. He is everything to me. I'll never stop being grateful for him.

And my God who joined us together. Forever.

A work trip to Nigeria

Jacob recently returned from a trip to Nigeria, to continue to help The Church of Jesus Christ
of Latter-day Saints measure and evaluate their programs for mothers, babies and children
that aim to lessen the prevalence of malnutrition, disease and death. It continues to be such
humbling work for him and we both feel so privileged to be a part of it.

In addition, the opportunity to leave a few days early and visit his parents on the way was
wonderful for Jacob. He’s seen them twice in the last five months, something we never would
 have imagined when they left for Cote d’Ivoire earlier this year. His time with them meant a lot
to him and being in the Abidjan temple with them, even attending a sealing his dad performed
for that darling wife and husband in the second picture, well it was just incredibly sweet.

Jacob and I talk often about how undeservedly blessed we are and how we truly can’t get over
it. I genuinely don’t think it will ever not humble me to the core and just hope God knows
how deeply honored we are to do our small part to try to further His work. And mostly,
to help as many of His children as possible, as often as possible, feel His love for them.

He’s so just mighty and wonderful. I’m so thankful for Him.

The best afternoon

December service opportunity

For the last and final service opportunity of the year, I had the sweet experience, with the donations
from several of you and the money Jacob and I put aside, to buy quite a few breakfast items, shelf-stable
 milk and blankets for the homeless community in Utah County. And even though this photo shows dozens
 of items ready to be delivered, I actually was able to purchase a few more (not pictured), from money
that came after these arrived. So just imagine even more loveliness. In addition, a darling friend of
mine dropped off three blankets to be donated, so I was beyond grateful for her kindness.

A huge thanks to our Annie for letting me have everything sent to her house and then delivering
 it all to the warming center for me...in multiple trips, bless her heart. She's the kindest and the best.

I'm just so thankful for a wonderful year, alongside many of you, of these monthly service projects.
I've come to understand multiple reasons the Lord asked me to do this and it's been such a blessing
and taught me several unexpected lessons. I'm excited to quietly continue these myself next year,
offering the invitation to join just a couple of times next year, for those that may be interested.

Oh the last twelve months of these monthly opportunities has been good for me. I'm so grateful.

Christmas piano recital

Christmas piano recital last night for these three cousins and their cousin of the recently healed broken
 thumb that wasn’t allowed to practice for weeks until a few days ago. And their very favorite piano teacher/
friend/human. My word we are the luckiest to know her. And these kids are the best. What a happy night.

Sixty years

Sixty years this very day. I could feel my mom smiling from heaven when I woke up. And my dad and his 
sweet reply to my text this morning touched my heart. I'm so thankful that for the last six decades, they
have chosen their  marriage. It means everything to me. How I pray heaven feels close for my dad today. 

Grace's musical theater and tap performance

Grace had an in-class musical theater and tap performance today and she was honestly

so amazing, it just blew me away. Her singing, acting, tapping...every bit of it was

just incredible. So grateful for this girl and her talented, beautiful, hard working self.

6th grade dance

This cutest girl had such a fun time at her sixth grade western dance on Friday. It’s so strange to
experience these elementary lasts with our youngest. Oh that time, the sneakiest of thieves.

Grace's science fair project

Science fair project for this little lovely. She's brilliant and darling.

More Wicked, more darling girls

I’m a huge fan of our tradition of going to Wicked with the girls.
 Love spending time with every one of them so much. They really are just the best.

Also, I may or may not have gone a second time with Jacob tonight,
 because I really needed to process it, by watching it again. You have no idea how
NOT like me it is to watch movies twice in general, but especially twice in one day.

Definitely not sorry though. Oh man that storyline speaks to me.

Our Denali girl

Forever the sweetest girl. We’ll never stop missing her.

Harvest dance

Ben's final Harvest dance with his darling date, Kate.

And a big thanks to Annie girl, for making the perfect Prince Phillip vest. She's the best.

A morning walk and my time with God

Another show of gratitude

Another November, another show of gratitude for Grace, at a nearby senior living center. Jacob so
kindly went with her this time, capturing these fabulous photos. Our beautiful dancer participated in |
five different dances and each one was absolutely tremendous (I know because her classes performed
them for parents through this week leading up to the show.) Oh I love this dance company and this girl.
And feel so thankful for moments that are as beautiful and good as last Saturday morning. 

Soccer golf

Last Friday, Jacob took Nate and Ben soccer golfing, for a part of Nate's birthday. They had such a great
time and it makes so happy how much Nate loves spending time with his dad and brothers. They're the best.

Fourteen years of our tremendous Nate

This amazing birthday boy

Happy Birthday to our amazing Nathan Grant! Fourteen years of us being the very luckiest
 because we get this boy in our family. He’s so good and wise, so kind and faithful, hilarious
beyond words and thoughtful far beyond his age. His athleticism has been off the charts
since he was tiny and it’s just the best to watch him play any sport, but especially soccer.
Mostly, Nate brings a peace and calm to our home that I truly believe arrived with him
from heaven—and even after all of these years, it has never dimmed.

Nate is an example to me in many ways, but one thing I’ve long admired about him is that
he makes really amazing choices—and every one of them is guided by his love of the Savior
 and his desire to be kind. His heart is gentle and good and like Jacob’s grandma, who he is
 named after and carries her maiden name, he is the ultimate cheerleader of people. From the
 time he was absolutely tiny, he would constantly tell me I was doing a great job and build me
up daily. And he does that for everyone around him even now. And when Nate prays, earth
and heaven feel like they pause a bit, so they don’t miss something so heartfelt and genuine.
How privileged I am to know this boy and to have his example every day of my life.

Happiest Birthday Nater, love you so much bud!

November service opportunity

So I thought I had a good idea for the November service opportunity this month. But, as in so many other cases, God had an even better plan. And it has been such an unexpected, humbling experience. 

Because of the nature of what came up and an important need that was time sensitive, I ended up doing this project privately and through an email to some very specific and incredibly tremendous people. And it brings me to tears just thinking about it. 

It isn’t quite over, since handling it in parts was necessary, but we are almost there and when I tell you it is easily one of the most profound and touching projects I did this entire year, I don’t say that lightly. 

So just a gentle, quiet thank you to so many of you who have changed lives with your kindness and generosity. I truly believe God has been moved to tears over what His children have been willing to do to serve an incredibly vulnerable family the last many days. 

Friends, thank you for who you are. Thanks for letting me share these service opportunities the last many months. It’s been an unreal blessing for me. And since it is hard for me not to do something specific in the actual month of November, I guess I could just invite you to donate to a local food bank, as they are doing extra right now with SNAP benefits possibly being suspended. Or give to a family or two who are personally affected by the government shutdown. I feel honored God has made it possible for us to do both of these things this week and humbled He continues to answer my prayer and bring people into our path who need their load lightened a bit right now.

Oh God is good. And people are incredible. And service is healing. I'm so privileged to know all of these as deeply as I do.

Behold...

 
What better way to celebrate such an even number of fractures? Behold, Ben's broken bone collage.

Y otra vez

Oh phew. Ben was tied with his siblings on broken bones (he has had three himself

and everyone else has had three combined), but as of last night, that tie has been

broken (pun very intended). Backyard friend football for the fractured thumb win.

This boy has had a crazy few days before last night, as in, absolutely insane.
And has handled  it all so, so well. This is the reality of the months leading up to
a mission—pure nutso I tell you. So proud of this boy and his amazing attitude.

Now to get Ben his broken bone winning trophy. He’s definitely earned it.