A day of heartache and gratitude

Even with my immense happiness for him, this one feels like a little too much. Especially following
the heart shattering news regarding a dear friend yesterday. Life already felt far too fragile and I’m kind
of not interested in a world President Jeffrey R. Holland isn’t in. At least right this moment. He changed
 me in ways only my God truly knows. I’ll never stop being grateful for him. He did what he was asked
 so well, just so very well. I’m so happy for heaven. And for all of us who knew him on earth.

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound

That saved a wretch like me

I once was lost, but now I’m found

Was blind, but now I see

The BEST humans

27 years

I don't believe it is a coincidence (even without it being a conscious choice we made) that Jacob and I
 were married on the day that officially signals the beginning of more light and life coming into the world.
I don't know what could more adequately sum up my marriage, or the gift of our family, than that.

He, and his overwhelmingly bright light, have stood beside me, every single day of the last twenty-seven years.

Through moments so hard, that they took my breath away with how horrific and earth shattering they felt. 

And moments so full of joy and peace, it felt like heaven was actually here. Or we were there. Or both.  

And everything in between. A whole lot in between. 

Jacob has never given up on me or our children and if anything, has shown up for all of us even
more the last many months, than ever before. And oh my word, that is saying something. 

He has exceeded every expectation of a husband and father, I never even knew to have, 

He truly is the greatest example of light and love in my life, next to the Savior and my Father.
That tangible, sit-by-my side, listen and care, laugh and believe, work through the exhaustion,
hold me when my world is crumbling, stay when it often would be easier to check out, joke and
smile and focus on the positive, show up again and again and again. And then again, kind of light.

That is Jacob Allen. He is everything to me. I'll never stop being grateful for him.

And my God who joined us together. Forever.

A work trip to Nigeria

Jacob recently returned from a trip to Nigeria, to continue to help The Church of Jesus Christ
of Latter-day Saints measure and evaluate their programs for mothers, babies and children
that aim to lessen the prevalence of malnutrition, disease and death. It continues to be such
humbling work for him and we both feel so privileged to be a part of it.

In addition, the opportunity to leave a few days early and visit his parents on the way was
wonderful for Jacob. He’s seen them twice in the last five months, something we never would
 have imagined when they left for Cote d’Ivoire earlier this year. His time with them meant a lot
to him and being in the Abidjan temple with them, even attending a sealing his dad performed
for that darling wife and husband in the second picture, well it was just incredibly sweet.

Jacob and I talk often about how undeservedly blessed we are and how we truly can’t get over
it. I genuinely don’t think it will ever not humble me to the core and just hope God knows
how deeply honored we are to do our small part to try to further His work. And mostly,
to help as many of His children as possible, as often as possible, feel His love for them.

He’s so just mighty and wonderful. I’m so thankful for Him.

The best afternoon

December service opportunity

For the last and final service opportunity of the year, I had the sweet experience, with the donations
from several of you and the money Jacob and I put aside, to buy quite a few breakfast items, shelf-stable
 milk and blankets for the homeless community in Utah County. And even though this photo shows dozens
 of items ready to be delivered, I actually was able to purchase a few more (not pictured), from money
that came after these arrived. So just imagine even more loveliness. In addition, a darling friend of
mine dropped off three blankets to be donated, so I was beyond grateful for her kindness.

A huge thanks to our Annie for letting me have everything sent to her house and then delivering
 it all to the warming center for me...in multiple trips, bless her heart. She's the kindest and the best.

I'm just so thankful for a wonderful year, alongside many of you, of these monthly service projects.
I've come to understand multiple reasons the Lord asked me to do this and it's been such a blessing
and taught me several unexpected lessons. I'm excited to quietly continue these myself next year,
offering the invitation to join just a couple of times next year, for those that may be interested.

Oh the last twelve months of these monthly opportunities has been good for me. I'm so grateful.

Christmas piano recital

Christmas piano recital last night for these three cousins and their cousin of the recently healed broken
 thumb that wasn’t allowed to practice for weeks until a few days ago. And their very favorite piano teacher/
friend/human. My word we are the luckiest to know her. And these kids are the best. What a happy night.

Sixty years

Sixty years this very day. I could feel my mom smiling from heaven when I woke up. And my dad and his 
sweet reply to my text this morning touched my heart. I'm so thankful that for the last six decades, they
have chosen their  marriage. It means everything to me. How I pray heaven feels close for my dad today. 

Grace's musical theater and tap performance

Grace had an in-class musical theater and tap performance today and she was honestly

so amazing, it just blew me away. Her singing, acting, tapping...every bit of it was

just incredible. So grateful for this girl and her talented, beautiful, hard working self.

6th grade dance

This cutest girl had such a fun time at her sixth grade western dance on Friday. It’s so strange to
experience these elementary lasts with our youngest. Oh that time, the sneakiest of thieves.

Grace's science fair project

Science fair project for this little lovely. She's brilliant and darling.

More Wicked, more darling girls

I’m a huge fan of our tradition of going to Wicked with the girls.
 Love spending time with every one of them so much. They really are just the best.

Also, I may or may not have gone a second time with Jacob tonight,
 because I really needed to process it, by watching it again. You have no idea how
NOT like me it is to watch movies twice in general, but especially twice in one day.

Definitely not sorry though. Oh man that storyline speaks to me.

Our Denali girl

Forever the sweetest girl. We’ll never stop missing her.

Harvest dance

Ben's final Harvest dance with his darling date, Kate.

And a big thanks to Annie girl, for making the perfect Prince Phillip vest. She's the best.

A morning walk and my time with God

Another show of gratitude

Another November, another show of gratitude for Grace, at a nearby senior living center. Jacob so
kindly went with her this time, capturing these fabulous photos. Our beautiful dancer participated in |
five different dances and each one was absolutely tremendous (I know because her classes performed
them for parents through this week leading up to the show.) Oh I love this dance company and this girl.
And feel so thankful for moments that are as beautiful and good as last Saturday morning. 

Soccer golf

Last Friday, Jacob took Nate and Ben soccer golfing, for a part of Nate's birthday. They had such a great
time and it makes so happy how much Nate loves spending time with his dad and brothers. They're the best.

Fourteen years of our tremendous Nate

This amazing birthday boy

Happy Birthday to our amazing Nathan Grant! Fourteen years of us being the very luckiest
 because we get this boy in our family. He’s so good and wise, so kind and faithful, hilarious
beyond words and thoughtful far beyond his age. His athleticism has been off the charts
since he was tiny and it’s just the best to watch him play any sport, but especially soccer.
Mostly, Nate brings a peace and calm to our home that I truly believe arrived with him
from heaven—and even after all of these years, it has never dimmed.

Nate is an example to me in many ways, but one thing I’ve long admired about him is that
he makes really amazing choices—and every one of them is guided by his love of the Savior
 and his desire to be kind. His heart is gentle and good and like Jacob’s grandma, who he is
 named after and carries her maiden name, he is the ultimate cheerleader of people. From the
 time he was absolutely tiny, he would constantly tell me I was doing a great job and build me
up daily. And he does that for everyone around him even now. And when Nate prays, earth
and heaven feel like they pause a bit, so they don’t miss something so heartfelt and genuine.
How privileged I am to know this boy and to have his example every day of my life.

Happiest Birthday Nater, love you so much bud!

November service opportunity

So I thought I had a good idea for the November service opportunity this month. But, as in so many other cases, God had an even better plan. And it has been such an unexpected, humbling experience. 

Because of the nature of what came up and an important need that was time sensitive, I ended up doing this project privately and through an email to some very specific and incredibly tremendous people. And it brings me to tears just thinking about it. 

It isn’t quite over, since handling it in parts was necessary, but we are almost there and when I tell you it is easily one of the most profound and touching projects I did this entire year, I don’t say that lightly. 

So just a gentle, quiet thank you to so many of you who have changed lives with your kindness and generosity. I truly believe God has been moved to tears over what His children have been willing to do to serve an incredibly vulnerable family the last many days. 

Friends, thank you for who you are. Thanks for letting me share these service opportunities the last many months. It’s been an unreal blessing for me. And since it is hard for me not to do something specific in the actual month of November, I guess I could just invite you to donate to a local food bank, as they are doing extra right now with SNAP benefits possibly being suspended. Or give to a family or two who are personally affected by the government shutdown. I feel honored God has made it possible for us to do both of these things this week and humbled He continues to answer my prayer and bring people into our path who need their load lightened a bit right now.

Oh God is good. And people are incredible. And service is healing. I'm so privileged to know all of these as deeply as I do.

Behold...

 
What better way to celebrate such an even number of fractures? Behold, Ben's broken bone collage.

Y otra vez

Oh phew. Ben was tied with his siblings on broken bones (he has had three himself

and everyone else has had three combined), but as of last night, that tie has been

broken (pun very intended). Backyard friend football for the fractured thumb win.

This boy has had a crazy few days before last night, as in, absolutely insane.
And has handled  it all so, so well. This is the reality of the months leading up to
a mission—pure nutso I tell you. So proud of this boy and his amazing attitude.

Now to get Ben his broken bone winning trophy. He’s definitely earned it.

Happy Halloween!

A happy Halloween from our darling Medieval Princess Warrior!

(And that’s a wrap folks. As in, we are done with Halloween costumes. If our kids want to dress up after
elementary school, great, I love that for them. They can absolutely figure out/finance their costume and I love
watching their creativity for sure. But this lady who doesn’t love Halloween—but does love the trick-or-treaters—
just finished her twenty-sixth and final kids’ Halloween. Yee to the haw. Mission accomplished. Over and out.)

October service opportunity

For the October service project, I had the fun opportunity of being asked to help with one of several large service projects that were being carried out by the youth of multiple church congregations in my area. And it was decided that the best way we could help, was to provide what was needed for some birthday bags, to be given to the success mentor of a local elementary school, who works with the homeless and low income students in her school. 

To prep for that day, I was able to buy everything you see in the picture and donate it all to the youth and their leaders, so that it could be ready on their day of service, to be assembled into individual bags and delivered to the school.

I’m so thankful for those who are planning to put the bags together next week. As well as my amazing friend who is the success mentor at that local elementary and will be distributing these bags to those darlings kids on their special day. And also for a good friend of Jacob and mine, and this fantastic idea he proposed, just when I had been praying for who would be best to serve in the month of October.

Another month, another successful service project.

God is far too kind to me. I’m so grateful for Him.

First place

This darling Nate and his amazing team played their last season game on Friday. They were up against
the first place team, who was undefeated, with Nate's team only having lost one game this fall. The team
they played had given up only two goals the entire season, so Nate's team knew it would be a hard fight.

But in the end, these incredible boys and their coach, beat the other team 4-1,
winning the game and coming in first in their division. It really was the best and seeing
our boy play his heart out every second he was on the field was just the greatest.

There is something tremendous about this particular compilation of boys. Nate's played on a lot of teams,
 but this one feels like magic somehow (and not just because they are really good). As a group, they are
so incredible and fun and being a part of this team has been such a blessing for Nate. I'm just so proud
of each one of them and especially that number nineteen. He's most definitely my favorite.

They really are just the best...every last one of them

The reason Jacob and I were able to get away to Kauai for a week was, without question, because of Campbell and Kelsey. When we even considered the idea of trying to make it happen, they immediately volunteered to have the two youngest at their home the entire time. No hesitation, all in.

(It's not their fault that I somehow missed that the week we would be gone would be the last few days of the first term of school. Ugh. That didn't work out so well. But Campbell and Kelsey were completely willing and they are why our Hawaiian plans were booked in the first place.)

When I realized the youngests would have to stick around for a few days of school, we did a little pivot and Matt and Ben jumped in and assured us they would make it happen. And boy did they. So happily and well.

But when Nate and Grace had two days off for fall break, who also had time off of work and school and entered the party? Annie Allen of course. Who not only decided to take care of the two youngest, but decided she was going to make it fun and exciting beyond words. So she, Ben, Nate and Grace went camping to Moab over fall break. And had the very best time. That girl of ours is too amazing.

I'm so grateful for our kids. They aren't perfect and they don't need to be. But they show up. Every dang time it matters. And are the greatest friends and the most hilarious pesterers of each other in all the land. And they do it because they love each other, but also, because they want to make important moments happen for their parents. And it means everything to us.

I'm just so thankful for each one of them and so glad they have the happy memories of time with each other when we were away. I not only have a few photos of their exciting week together, but also, I hold close to my heart the fact that every one of them, starting with Kelsey and Campbell, made sure we knew they would do anything so we could go. Plus, we came home to a perfectly clean home, because Matt knew it would be so happy for me, so who's the triple winner here?

My word, love every last one of our seven kids, and their incredible hearts, more than I could ever convey.

An amazing week in Kauai

Jacob and I just returned from a week in Kauai. And as you can see,
it was gorgeous. Times a lot. Paradise indeed. 

But even more than the beauty, the time with Jacob was so needed. He’s just my favorite
human ever and we had some of the best talks of our entire marriage. I honestly will never
get over  how I could be so blessed as to be his, for this life and the next. 

Yet even with all the beauty and so many wonderful days, my favorite moment
 took me by surprise. But oh man is it imprinted on my heart. 

Late on our last night, just before we headed to the airport. There we were, sitting in a little
dive restaurant, with the sun going down, sharing delicious sushi and pad thai, cracking up at our
kids’ texts about a big football game, mixed in with hilarious nonsense. We couldn’t quit laughing
and talking about our incredible life. And the last several days. And mostly, the last twenty-seven
years. And everything felt melty and warm and wonderful. And like I never wanted it to end.  

But it did. And it should. And boy are we better for it. 

Oh I love Jacob Allen. Add Kauai to the mix and you get one tremendous week. 

I truly have just have the best life. And the greatest God. 

I’ll never stop being thankful for both.