AP tests and reminders

Just a few hours ago, I drove our Campbell to school early to make sure he would be on time to begin his AP Human Geography test. I didn't feel nervous for him (I know that boy almost better than he knows himself and know what he is capable of), but he was nervous and I understood. I remember quite clearly the worry over taking my AP tests a year or twenty ago.

But since I couldn't take that nervousness away, instead I just made him a nice breakfast, drove him to school and told him that whenever he felt anxious or unsure, he needed to remember two things. First, he had prepared so very well and he had the right to pray for the peace and help I knew would come to him. And second, he needed to know that his mom would be praying for him constantly and he was loved like crazy.

As I pulled up to the school though, and he got out of the car, an unexpected wave of emotion spread over me. I was glad I had my sunglasses on, because I just smiled an encouraging smile, told him I loved him and wished him luck. And off he walked.

As I drove away, the emotion didn't go away. In fact it stayed there for the whole drive home. And for some reason, it came accompanied by the feeling of something that will be very similar (and yet so much more important) in about three years.

During the drive home, my mind and my heart pictured dropping that same boy off at the Missionary Training Center on the day he would be leaving us for two years to serve a mission for his Heavenly Father. I thought about the "test" he would be taking at that time and how well he would be prepared. It completely filled me with gratitude for the privilege of being a mother, and specifically at that moment, being Cam's mom. I felt honored with what the Lord asks us to do.

I can't think about any of my kids leaving home, especially for two years, without getting really emotional at the thought (never mention when it actually happens). But I also know what a blessing it will be for them and how important it will be for their spiritual growth, as well as the rest of their life. But oh man, having that very small experience, reminding my heart of a much bigger experience to come, was something I wasn't prepared for this morning.

And yet, I'm grateful.

It reminded me once again, that God loves His children. So very much. And that there is so much ahead that is good and wonderful and amazing. And a bit hard.

But mostly, so very good and wonderful and amazing.