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It's been an incredibly hard week. Not only because the
second anniversary of my Mom's
death was coming up, but mostly, for some other intense and emotional and taxing
reasons, filling up my days and nights, and hurting my heart in ways I wasn't
prepared to handle. Oh life can be rough and the agency of others can sting.
But.
But. These hard seconds and days and weeks (and dang it, sometimes even months
and years) make what the Savior was willing to do for us that much more incredible
and hopeful. It makes my knowledge that He never leaves our side that much more
beautiful. It makes His unimaginable love that much more enveloping and perfect.
Oh I don't deserve Him. But I will thank my Father in Heaven for all of eternity that
the gift of His Son was given to me in spite of that. Actually, likely because of that.
And it is precisely that gift, and my sure knowledge of Jesus Christ as my Savior and Redeemer,
that makes today a little bit easier to bear. It helps me to smile alongside the tears and to pray for
healing that I know He is willing to extend. For this day. For this week. For the second, two years
ago exactly, that my Mom took her last breath and returned home to that God who gave her life.
.
God is good. Jesus Christ is peace. And heaven is real. So very real. And because I know these
three truths to the deepest part of my heart, I will keep trying. Stumbling and falling and running
and skipping, and often clawing, myself forward. To a place that I once knew and lived. And a
Father in Heaven and a Savior who love me beyond imagination. It's where I belong. Always.
death was coming up, but mostly, for some other intense and emotional and taxing
reasons, filling up my days and nights, and hurting my heart in ways I wasn't
prepared to handle. Oh life can be rough and the agency of others can sting.
But.
But. These hard seconds and days and weeks (and dang it, sometimes even months
and years) make what the Savior was willing to do for us that much more incredible
and hopeful. It makes my knowledge that He never leaves our side that much more
beautiful. It makes His unimaginable love that much more enveloping and perfect.
Oh I don't deserve Him. But I will thank my Father in Heaven for all of eternity that
the gift of His Son was given to me in spite of that. Actually, likely because of that.
And it is precisely that gift, and my sure knowledge of Jesus Christ as my Savior and Redeemer,
that makes today a little bit easier to bear. It helps me to smile alongside the tears and to pray for
healing that I know He is willing to extend. For this day. For this week. For the second, two years
ago exactly, that my Mom took her last breath and returned home to that God who gave her life.
.
God is good. Jesus Christ is peace. And heaven is real. So very real. And because I know these
three truths to the deepest part of my heart, I will keep trying. Stumbling and falling and running
and skipping, and often clawing, myself forward. To a place that I once knew and lived. And a
Father in Heaven and a Savior who love me beyond imagination. It's where I belong. Always.
Today, this week, this lifetime.
Please stay near. Because I'll never stop needing you.