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When your child goes through a traumatic event, and you aren’t with them to comfort and help them, it’s a pretty horrific feeling. So to have one of the most amazing people you have ever known be there when you can’t, means something I don’t know how to put into words.
Jacob and I will forever be thankful for Stone. How he supported and comforted our Annie (while they and all of their friends gave everything possible in their heroic efforts to save Scott) brings me to tears every single time I think about it. We are so grateful for Stone for a lot of reasons, but this one, has meant everything to my mother’s heart the last many days.
In addition, I can’t finish sharing my thoughts about this last week until I mention that I am married to the kindest, most amazing human being I have truly ever known. The way Jacob handled/is still handling everything that happened is absolutely incredible to me. There is no one more calm and grounded, more loving and measured in his approach. It blesses every one of us in our family, every single day.
And yet...watching Jacob not be able to get to Annie, when we both knew she had just been through one of the most horrific experiences imaginable, was pure torture. I was doing everything in my power to handle my own feelings and helplessness well, but then to watch the person I love most in the world not to be able to help his girl, when everything in his father’s heart was breaking...it felt like too much.
Yet I am trying to remind myself, as terrible as this experience has been for Annie and her friends and especially, especially, especially Scott’s family, there is something I do know. To be honest, it isn’t a lot right now. I’m hurting too deeply to be much of anything but wrecked and furious on behalf of Scott’s family. But even with those strong feelings I’m sitting with and letting be for now, I know one thing. Through this entire thing, God was and is near. And has wept alongside each of us throughout it all. I do at least know that.
And I have to let that be enough for right now.
Because I don’t have much of a choice to be honest.
But at some point I will.
And He isn’t going anywhere in the meantime.