February phone pics

Nate got his first haircut by someone other than his mom. He was so excited.

But when he got into the chair, he was all business. Man, I love this boy.

I already mentioned this a few weeks ago, when it happened. But when I downloaded my

phone pics I saw that I had the official  first photo of Cam without braces. It still makes me

happy for him to see this picture. And my happiness for our finances isn't small either.

On the rare days that Annie doesn't do her own hair, she asks me to do something fancy

with it. (Okay, if you know me and hair, you know she doesn't use the word "fancy" when

she requests a hairdo. Because she would be sorely disappointed for sure.) And here is

one of  my attempts. I don't post this to impress you all (because impressive it is not), but to

 remember that I often snap a photo of her hair after I finish so that she can see how it looks.

This month I gave two organization seminars for Relief Society groups. I had forgotten

how much I enjoy giving those. Anyway, a few women at each one asked if my house was

always clean. (Oh you kind people, you obviously don't know me very well. But I'll take the

 flattery for sure.) So the other day, when I took out Nate's car seat to clean underneath,

I decided to take photographic evidence of how we are always clean. I'm pretty crazy when it

comes to making sure our cars are free of anything that doesn't belong in it. Or so I thought.

And speaking of cuteness. (What? We weren't?) This boy decided to put on my glasses

while we were sitting in the car waiting for Annie's horseback riding lesson to begin.

Now this may look like just a regular third car garage to you, but you would be wrong.

(Okay, you would be right. But that is not the point of the photo.) In the several weeks since

we moved it, I had been collecting a pile of garbage that included many things that were no

longer needed at our home. And it sat there for weeks, being added to. Until a few days ago.

Jacob was out of town on a business trip and I decided I couldn't look at it one more second.

The kids joined the party and although it took several loads, we got it out. Oh happy day for sure!

For my birthday, Jacob gave me a trip to St. George to spend some time with my grandma.

I was there for two nights and almost three days. On this particular night my grandma needed

her hair done and her usual family hairdressers were not around. Guess who she settled for?

Um, yeah. But when I finished doing her hair, I had to admit I was pretty proud of how it looked. 

Proud enough to snap this photo while she was talking to a family member on the phone.

You didn't know I was a hairdresser did you? Yeah, no one did. And they would be right.

This girl could give our sky photos (what, no sky photos in February...what was I thinking?)

a run for their money. I can't help it. She makes me so happy and is so stinkin' darling.

Love

The degree to which I love this photo definitely cannot be described in words.

Not a single title seemed worthy of this photo

Good thing he is cute

I'm sure we are the only ones that have children who cry for no reason at all.
Especially small children. (Well, and their mother. But that is a separate post.)

In fact, there are honestly times when each of our little ones have appeared to be
searching out a reason to be in tears. Which is exactly what happened the other day.

Nate was fussing about something and being the fabulous mother that I am,
I was ignoring him until he could talk even remotely like a small child.

I walked into my master bathroom to finish getting ready for the day and he
followed me, hoping I would see his tears and give in to his inaudible requests.

I finally realized he didn't even have a request, just a need to be whiny,
when the following conversation took place. (Please just make sure your read
Nathan's part with a devastated, distraught voice. Thanks in advance.)

N: "I want my blanket. I can't find my blanket."

L: "It's on your bed."

Nate looks terribly frustrated that his issue has been resolved so quickly and appears
to be looking around him in case inspiration strikes for another reason to be upset. Apparently
it came quickly to him, because he stops, points to the toilet and says through his sobs...

N: "I just want to swim in there."

L: ............

Ours

This afternoon we had the carpets in the entire house cleaned. And when I walked into the

house after the carpet cleaners were finished, it finally felt completely and totally like our home.

I'm so grateful for a home that is just perfect for us. And that feels 100% ours. I am so blessed.

Our girls

These sisters melt my heart. Love them both so much.

Sardines and reminders

Tonight we played sardines as a family. In our pajamas. For a very long time. The joy on the kids' faces, to have everyone involved, made me want to make sure "family time" happens much more often.

There is nothing, as a child, that I loved more than time with the whole family, including my parents. Why would my children be any different?

I love my kids and Jacob like crazy. And often cannot believe that they are mine. Forever.

Life is good. I am so very blessed.

Better

This little girl is completely better. As evidenced by her darling little smile.
And her curlhawk. No one sports a curlhawk who isn't feeling fabulous. It's a rule.

Apples, falling, trees

I've never verbalized my obsession with the sky, but I do point out its constant beauty to the kids. 

I found these two photos on my camera, taken by two different children, at two different times.
Apparently sky-obsession is a gene. Since I recently found out I that I inherited it from my mom,
I should have known. Pretty soon we are going to have to change the name of this blog...

Finding JOY in a ridiculous number of photos taken of the sky

Pig tails and burp cloths

Gracie's hair is getting quite long on top and tonight, Annie decided she needed a pig tail.
(Is it called a pig tail if there is only one and it comes out of the top of her head?)

And when Annie had put in the clip, she decided she needed to take pictures of the cuteness.
So she set Grace up in the chair in her room and started clicking away. Unfortunately, the chair
is a darker color and Grace's hair was hard to see. So Annie solved the problem brilliantly.

Doesn't Grace looked thrilled about her new hairdo?

 Oh well, at least the photo shoot ended well.

Incredible kindness

Remember when we were going to build a house? And then we didn't. But we didn't know we were not supposed to for many months. And so, when we moved to Utah and we had signed papers to build our home, we started attending the ward where our home would be. And it was a wonderful ward and we really enjoyed being a part of it. I was sad to leave, as I had met many fabulous friends in the few months we were there.

One of them being my cute friend, Chelsea.

I wish I could convey in words how amazing Chelsea is. She is darling and happy and positive and creative and just fun. I admire her in a whole lot of ways. And will always be grateful we attended that ward, so that we could become friends. We have stayed in touch even after our family moved and I am so glad.

Yesterday afternoon, Chelsea texted and asked if she could bring by a small birthday gift sometime later in the day. I replied that I would love to see her. A few hours later, she showed up. And this is what she brought me:

I'm not sure what kind of friend spends the time it would take to make something this beautiful; or what kind of a friend remembers a passing comment I made during church about this being my favorite scripture; or what kind of friend recalls the birthday of someone she has not known very long; but I know I want to be more like her. And the second Chelsea left, with my thanks that did not feel adequate, I walked around the house trying to find the perfect place to put this gift. And I found it. Right where I will see it dozens of times a day.

To remind me of an amazing and sweet friend that I will forever be grateful for. And to remind me of God's protection and His promises and His love.

Discovery Fair

Last night, the kids' elementary school hosted a Discovery Fair.

Every grade was assigned some kind of big project and last night was a chance

for parents to walk around and see all of the hard work by the students.

In Kindergarten, they created a 100 day display. They had to find a way to display 100 items

of their choice. (If you have children in public school, you have done this. Multiple times.)

Ben wanted to put 100 Skittles in a cool bottle we had. I love how carefully he placed them.

Matt had a big Utah history project. He worked really hard on it and especially took a lot of time 

creating his board. (I don't know where he got the personality that caused him to make every single 

paper he put on his board perfectly straight.) He and one other student in the class chose someone 

from Utah history that was a bit out of the box. That sure is Matt. As is his colorful board. I love that
about him. Only the kids that entered a special history contest were in the running for their boards

to be chosen to go to district. You had to sign up at the beginning of the year. We were new and

didn't know about it. Matt wasn't especially devastated. He loves just doing things to do them.

And Annie girl was chosen, one of four in her entire grade and the only one in her class, to take
her science project to district. Honestly, how I felt when we walked into the room that night and
saw she was the one with the blue ribbon...I was so proud of her and so grateful. They didn't
know until that evening who had won, because they had just presented their projects to the
judges during school that day. And while I know Annie is amazing and capable of a lot, I also
 knew she had chosen a project that was somewhat common (it had to be done during the end
of last year and that was crazyville time for us, so we kept it simple for everyone's sanity) and
I just didn't know how that would factor into things. But between her board that she spent a
great deal of time on and her presentation which she practiced and did with confidence, it looked
to definitely be enough. It was such a happy moment for all of us. Boy were we excited for Annie!

And one more picture with our girl and her blue ribbon.

The day he thought would never come

 A quick 'before' as he was running in to his appointment.

I honestly didn't think it was possible for this boy to be more handsome.

I was wrong.

Blessed

A couple of days ago, Grace was laying on the floor and Nate was sitting down next to her, just talking away. Suddenly, Grace turned toward Nate and sneezed. Nate looked down at his arm, which had been right in the line of fire, looked up and me and said,

"Grace blessed me."

Cold

Our ward had a father and sons camp out last night. In a heated lodge about an hour away. Fun times, I heard. Unless you were the Allens at bedtime.

Campbell is getting close to earning his Eagle. He has a bit to go, but he is getting there. One of the things he needs more of is camp outs. And sleeping in a tent in your backyard or even having a camp out with your family doesn't count. It has to be an official camp out with the church.

Do you see where this is going?

Jacob is the ultimate scout dad. I'm so grateful. And decided that he would be glad to camp out in the snow last night in order for Cam to get another camp out on his list. (You'd better believe I was so thankful all night that I get to be the mom.) So that is exactly what they did.

It was cold. Really, really cold apparently. (According to Jacob's phone, it hit 10 degrees in the middle of the night.) They thought seriously of hightailing it to the lodge a time or two, but they stuck it out. I don't know if I should be impressed or worried.I guess as long as I don't have to be a part of it, I'll be impressed.

Just for the record, my bed was warm and lovely that night.

January phone pics

This is Grace at the beginning of the month at her four-month well check. 

We are worried about how little she is getting to eat.

This is where I stand each Wednesday waiting for Annie to put away the horse she has

been riding during her lessons. She is doing amazingly well each week. And true to

form, I love ending her lesson standing just outside the door staring at the sky.

This sweetheart is officially in a bed. No crib (or playpen) for him.

I was scared out of my mind to put him somewhere he could get out of himself.

We have had zero problems. I'm so grateful. And astonished.

Oh man, this sign made my day. I relate. I'm a fan of nice people. I plan to be one someday.

When I pulled into the hospital parking lot in St. George at 4am, this sign made me laugh.

And not just because it was 4am. Any Studio C fans out there? Oh man, our kids definitely

are. And some of the skits have even made me laugh. Like this one. I know. I'm a doof.

The fog several days ago as I came out of Target. Creepola.

This picture makes me teary. My new Relief Society president is already one of my favorite

people ever. I absolutely adore her. We have struck up a friendship and she is so ridiculously

kind to me. The other day when she found out Grace had been so sick and that we had been

at instacare the night before and that Jacob was out of town, she sent this basket to Grace and

our family. It literally arrived approximately one hour, or less, after she was told. And that is

 just one of many things she has already done for us. I wish I had the words to thank her.

I'm just going to say it. Your heart is cold and your personality might need a 

transplant if this photo does not make you laugh out loud. Annie was tending

Grace for me for a little bit the other morning. When I looked at my phone later 

in the day, this picture came up. I will never stop laughing at this photo. Never.

Fun in Atlanta

Jacob travels to Atlanta often these days (as well as Phoenix and Houston). The case he is on requires those three cities on a very regular basis. We are definitely used to it here at the Allen house.

And so, when he had a trip to Atlanta on Monday and Tuesday (hooray for only two days) this week, it was par for the course. He mentioned on Sunday night, when we were looking at our schedule for the week that some bad weather was expected in Atlanta on Tuesday. Usually I would just shrug my shoulders. We lived in Boston long enough for that to be my first reaction. You see, we would often be told that a terrible storm was coming, only to experience seven minutes of snow. Yes, there were some doozies for sure, but the great majority of those that were supposed to be crazyville, were pretty much nothing.

But, as Jacob mentioned the weather in Atlanta, something told me he was not coming home Tuesday night like planned.

And that was indeed the case.

By the time he had landed in Atlanta on Monday afternoon, he had already received a message that his flight the next evening was cancelled. And while I was definitely disappointed, things were about to become quite intense at our house and I didn't even have time to think about it much.

Until the next morning. When Jacob called to say that the training he was conducting was going to end prematurely because it had started to snow and Atlanta was a goin' crazy. (Okay, not a person who reads this blog would ever think that Jacob would say that sentence, but it made me laugh and I'm going to pretend he said it just like that. Join me, would you?)

The next many hours would show just how wild it got. Those poor, poor people in Georgia. You have all heard the stories, so I won't share them again. Except one. Someone who was at the training and who left for the airport several hours early hoping to make his flight, spent 17 hours in his barely-moving-on-occasion car. Seven. Teen. Hours. Folks. You would have had to cart me straight to the mental hospital. I cannot imagine.

Anyway (seriously, who is this lady who has started writing such long blog posts? I am not acquainted with her), the short of the story is that Jacob left the next morning, Wednesday, to attempt to get to the airport and make his newly assigned flight home. And while it did take a couple of hours, rather than the regular 40 minutes, it was so much better than either of us thought it would be. And his flight was not cancelled and actually left on time. He made it home a few hours ago.

Let there be no doubt how grateful we are.

Okay then, I'll sign off with a photo. Good gravy, have you ever seen such a sight? I may have, but it has been a long time. 

 And this was one of the calmer/less crowded roads. Yikes a roosey.

My baby girl

Just a couple of days ago, I was holding Grace and needed to get something done.
She has really been into her playmat, so I set her down on it so she could
play for a couple of minutes. When I returned, this is what I found:

It should have been my first clue that something was up (she does not just fall asleep laying on the ground), but instead, I just thought it was sweet and let her sleep. She stayed there for quite some time.

Fast forward a day and a half or so. It was Monday and gratefully, I insist on our Mondays being calm. We don't do practices or lessons or activities (if at all possible). But Jacob was out of town for his weekly trip and with Grace extra fussy, five trips to the kids' schools (just a normal occurence until the end of the school year), picking up family members from the train so they could get their car that was at our house and just everyday life (making dinner, homework, etc.), there was plenty to do. Like I said, Grace had been fussy and pretty congested, but I had been doing everything you are supposed to do for a little one that is congested and unhappy, so I was hoping she would be getting better soon.

When I arrived back at the house after picking up family, I walked in to Campbell holding Grace (I didn't want to take her out in the cold with me) and saying she had been crying here and there. I took her in my arms and she immediately put her head down on my shoulder and just laid there. Now she is a sweet baby, no question about it, but she was not acting like herself at all. I started to get that pit in my stomach I get when I know something kind of serious is up.

After our family (who even commented on how sick Grace looked) left to go home, I started to get everyone dinner while trying to hold Grace. Then we joined Jacob through Skype for our family home evening. He usually isn't gone on Monday and he had wanted to be a part of it. It was a rapido version though, as Jacob had a meeting with a client that evening.

After we signed off with Jacob and I asked the kids to get in their pajamas, I sat holding Grace. And I knew, without a single doubt, I needed to get her to instacare. She had not gotten any worse, nor was she overly fussy at that time, but I just knew. And for some reason, I knew it had to be quick.

I called the kids up and told them I was going to have a doctor take a look at Grace. And asked them to please take good care of each other and I would call as often as possible to let them know when each of them needed to go to sleep. I told them I would be back as soon as I could, but something in me, knew it wouldn't be super quick. I also asked them to pray for Grace and for the doctor, that we could help her to get better as soon as possible. They agreed and I left.

I arrived at the instacare about 20 minutes later and gratefully, there was not a wait. They took Grace in almost immediately. The nurse started to take her information, but when she got to her temperature, she paused. It was 102.2. Neither one of us even felt like she was that warm. In addition, her respiration was 20 or 30 counts higher than it should be. The nurse left to find a doctor quickly and to get some fever medication to get her fever down. She warned me that things looked a little scary and they would see if they could treat her here or if we needed to go elsewhere (read the hospital).

Very few minutes and very many prayers later, the nurse returned and gave Gracie acetaminophen. She also said the doctor was coming and we needed to suction her nose, as she was breathing too heavily. They did that, the doctor came in to see us (giving us the same information as the nurse) and found Grace had a massive ear infection in one ear. And that she had all of the symptoms of RSV. They said they would return in about 20-30 minutes and see how far her fever had gone down and how she was breathing, so they could make a decision.

They returned about 30 minutes later and took Grace's temperature. It was 103.2. She was still breathing too heavily and the instacare would be closing in about 20 minutes. The nurse said she wanted to try a deep suction and hoped that would make a difference. In the meantime, after letting the doctor know about the latest info, the doctor said we needed to give her ibuprofen. Babies under six months are not supposed to receive ibuprofen, but because Grace is quite chubby (like all of our other babies), she was okay to receive it. I don't have words for how grateful I was for her chubbiness that night. They administered ibuprofen and the nurse started the deep suctioning.

I cannot even type that without wanting to cry. If you haven't been through that with your child, be grateful beyond words. If you have, there is no need for me to say anything else. When emergencies arrive, I become eerily calm and ready to handle whatever I need to. (I lose it after, when everything is over and I am alone.) But that deep suctioning was one of the worst things I have experienced with one of my children and seeing Grace go through it took every ounce of will power to not only hold her hands down like I had to do, but to keep from bursting into tears. I have tears in my eyes just thinking about it.

After it was over (hallelujah), they told me they would return and with instacare closing, they would make a decision. I continued to pray hard. I would do whatever I needed to do for our little girl. Whatever she needed to get well is what would happen. But I had five kids at home. And a husband in Atlanta (whose flight had already been cancelled for the next night with the big storm coming). And I did not know who to call or what to do. I just kept praying that if it was possible to take Grace home, and have it be safe for her, that somehow I could. Jacob and I were texting regularly about her condition and he was obviously worried, but his hands were tied. Atlanta was about to become one big mess and he was stuck.

Well, long story long, these incredible people decided that staying an extra hour at work (when they already had to work until the late hour of 9pm) was okay with them, if they could help Grace. I don't have words for how thankful I am for them. And for the Lord who knew that I needed to leave quickly from home to even make this a possibility. Right around 9:30 or so, Grace's temperature started to drop. Not a lot, but at least it was dropping. Her respiration was still higher than they would like, but the doctor felt sure it was because her body was working too hard with the fever. They had already given her the first dose of antibiotics and after coming in worried and concerned more than once, the doctor came in completely sure that all would be well and that the antibiotic and fever medication would help her tremendously in the next 24 hours. Just to be safe, she gave me an additional prescription that would get me into a clinic (she gave me a list of several in the area) that could suction her out if need be (oh please don't need it to be). And sent us home. With my thanks over and over again to everyone involved. (I think they thought I was crazy cakes. They were right.)

I called the kids on my way home (I had talked to them once during my time away, as Jacob communicated with them many times so that I didn't need to call) and Campbell, who was the only one awake at that late hour, was so relieved.

We all were.

I got Gracie home and in bed. Then went to check on each of the kids.

(Can I just say right now that I honestly have the best kids this mother could have? I am so deeply grateful for them. Not only do our kids tend each other possibly better than I tend them [which is sad on several levels], but what mother expects to leave for almost three hours and come home to what I did? A clean house, everyone asleep [except Campbell who was in bed, but with a phone so we could call him], scriptures read, family prayer said and each of the kids having said multiple personal prayers for their little sister. I am so blessed. No, they are not perfect, but they are the greatest thing I could ask for.)

As usual, when everyone was asleep and the house was quiet, I went into my room and shed a few tears. Tears of exhaustion, tears of a whole lot of worry and mostly, tears of gratitude. We would have been okay if Grace had to be taken to the hospital. But from the deepest part of my heart, I'm grateful it was not necessary.

I'm not sure why Heavenly Father is so kind to me. But He is. I hope I never take it for granted. And always show Him my eternal gratitude.

(Okay then, apparently sickness brings out long blog posts from me. That will do long-winded, that will do.

How about we skip on the sickness and then I won't have to be long-winded? Yeah. Let's pretend that is the problem.)

A memorable Saturday morning

Yesterday, I had the privilege of listening to Sister Elaine Dalton speak to the women in our stake. Good grief, I thought I adored her before. My adoration is off the charts now.

She is happy and funny and real and her testimony is incredibly powerful. She knows the scriptures and she loves the women of the church, especially the young women whom she served for many years.

I have thought about several of the things she shared almost constantly the past 24 hours. I am so thankful for good people who are down to earth and love the Lord. And take the time to share that with those of us who are so grateful to hear it.

This boy received his Bear...

...and a whole lot of kindness from our new ward.

Waiting for the Court of Honor to begin.

Officially introducing Matt to the den.

How this ward welcomes someone new.

(Oh my mother's heart.)

Receiving his Bear badge.

This leader is beyond outstanding.

I've said it before. Be kind to me and I will be so grateful.

Be kind to my husband and kids and I will love you forever.

This ward does kindness like I have hardly ever seen.

Did I mention my mother's heart was in danger of bursting one too many times that night?

My Gram

Two nights ago I received a call from my aunt. She wanted to let me know that my grandma had been experiencing some abdominal pain and had passed out. Although she lives alone, she just happened (there was absolutely no coincidence) to have several women from her ward there for family home evening. They quickly called an ambulance and she was taken to the hospital where she was in the ICU and they were trying to find out what was happening.

It has been a long time since I felt so sick to my stomach and so worried about someone. And considering how close my grandma and I are, I'm not sure I've ever felt that sick to my stomach. I asked my aunt if I needed to come and she said that things would likely be fine until morning and then they would know more. That made sense logically and I thanked her for calling and asked her to please call me if anything happened, no matter the time.

I got off the phone and just cried. This was the first time in 11 years that I was actually in a place where I could be with my grandma and I didn't know if I should go now or wait a day or two to be of more help. Mostly though, things didn't look very good and I was terrified something could happen. I could not wrap my mind around that and didn't even want to.

Jacob and I talked about all of the options and I just didn't know what to do. Finally, Jacob said that it definitely made the most sense to wait until morning (as it was already around 10pm by then), but that maybe I should go pray and see if I felt anything specifically. I did just that and had a strong feeling to leave that night. Which was not what I was expecting at all. I didn't necessarily feel like something was going to happen to my grandma, I just felt like I needed to get on the road.

I didn't mention my answer to Jacob yet, just talked to a couple more family members about how my grandma was doing, including my sweet mom who I had emailed and who was so sad to be so far away and not be able to have the choice of when to go to St. George to be with her mom. By the time all of that was over, it was nearly 11pm. Without mentioning my answer, I asked Jacob if he would pray about it. When I get emotional about something, I always second-guess my answers and wonder if having my emotions be so involved influences things too much. Jacob was still leaning toward going in the morning. He knows that I cannot stay awake at night and that especially, I am not a person that can drive long distances without having someone else help out.

Jacob went into the other room to pray and I spent that time praying for my grandma and trying not to worry about how things looked. Jacob came back into the room and said kind of quietly, "I feel like you should go tonight." I could tell he didn't like the idea, but the answer was clear.

I quickly packed my bag and drove out of our driveway at 11:30pm. Jacob made me promise to stop the second I felt even a bit tired and get a hotel. I promised I would because it just isn't worth the risk of driving while you could even remotely chance falling asleep.

Well, one of the greatest miracles of my life happened. And I don't say that lightly. I drove through the night, arriving at the hospital at right around 4am. I had stopped one time and had not felt drowsy at all. I quietly went into my grandma's room and let her know I was there. My uncle was sleeping in her room with her and so after letting them both know I would be back, I went out into the parking lot of the hospital and slept in my car for about two hours.

I woke up just before 7am and after trying to make myself look like I hadn't been driving through the night and sleeping in my car (it didn't work), I went up to see my grandma. I was then able to spend many hours of that day with her and was there when she turned a corner and they were able to put her in a regular room and get her out of the ICU.

That evening, after talking with some family members, I was planning to sleep in my grandma's room to be with her. And then head home sometime the next day, as things had improved enough for me to feel comfortable leaving and returning within a few days or a few weeks. I left the hospital around 7pm to go get some things I needed from my suitcase (that was at my grandma's house) and as I drove to her home, I began feeling more and more uncomfortable and sick to my stomach. Within a very few minutes, I felt strongly that I needed to go home and that I shouldn't go back to my grandma's hospital room in case I caused a problem with her or anyone else.

I called my brother to tell him I was sorry I couldn't be of help that night and to please tell grandma that I loved her and that I would be back as soon as I could.

And then I started driving home. And wondering how in the world I was even going to make it five minutes, never name five hours. I had literally had two hours of sleep in the last 36 hours and had already driven through the night just hours ago. I called Jacob and told him I was coming home and that I would absolutely stop the second I got even a little tired.

And then the second miracle, in less than 24 hours, happened. I drove through the night, stopping only once, and arrived home not too long after midnight. Jacob talked me through the last 15 miles or so and I knew about a mile from home things were not looking good when I was actually talking to Jacob and started wondering where I was and why nothing around me looked familiar. Which made perfect sense as I had only driven that road hundreds of times in my life. It was so good to be home.

Here is what I know.

Our God is a God of miracles

I already mentioned the two trips through the night, but in addition, the only reason I could go to St. George at the time when I needed to be with my grandma was because Jacob's business trip had been cancelled that week. And that may seem like a small thing, but Jacob has been traveling every single week, save a couple of holiday weeks, since the end of September. He had never had a trip cancel.

In addition, our kids were off school the day I was in St. George. Again, that may seem small to many, but to me it was what made it possible to go. Jacob had a very important meeting the morning I was in St. George that he had to be to. And because the kids were home for a teacher prep day, they could tend each other while Jacob left for just a few hours. It wasn't a coincidence to me.

Family is more important than anything else

It has been many years since I was able to even have the choice to go to family who needed me. We have lived away (far away) for so long, I really haven't had that choice. But I could this time and no matter how much sleep I lost, how crazy the day I spent in St. George was, how awake or with it my grandma was, I needed her to know that I would do whatever I needed to in order to be with her. I love my Gram and she has been there for me over and over and over again. Our daily talks mean a whole lot to me.

In addition, coming home to my family was one of the greatest feelings I have felt in a long time. I love my husband and kids fiercely. I make no bones about it and it is the privilege of my life to be a mother and a wife. I feel that often. But coming home to them, after the stress of the last 24 hours did something to my heart that I have not felt in some time. I honestly don't know how I could be as blessed as I am to have my husband and my children, but I am. And oh how I hope they always know that.

Our prayers are always answered

My grandma is okay right now. And the seriousness of the initial problems, along with a huge scare when her already struggling heart went out of rhythm, make that a miraculous statement.

After several hours of her heart being out of rhythm and strong medication not helping it get back to where it needed to be, the doctors decided they would have to shock it into rhythm. And no one, including the doctors, wanted to try that because of how fragile my grandma's heart has been since last year. It was not a good situation and to be completely honest, I was terrified we would lose her. I asked our kids to pray as hard as they could until they brought in the equipment to shock Gram's heart. Then I went back into my room and started to do the same. Within two minutes, I had a text from my brother. They had come into the room with the equipment to start the procedure and before they could do it, my grandma's heart started to beat normally. I am crying again as I type that. I immediately left my room to go and tell my kids and as I walked toward our kitchen where they were all gathered, I heard them praying for their Gram, asking that her heart could be fixed. I am crying even more as I type that.

Also, I don't know why I was supposed to leave that night instead of waiting until the morning. I imagine it was to have a little bit of time with my grandma before so many others showed up. But the reason doesn't really matter to me. When my Heavenly Father answers my prayers, I hope He knows I will do everything I can to always follow that answer. I cannot get over the fact that He helps us with everything that we need help with and then blesses us when we follow His direction. His kindness and goodness are overwhelming to me.

This is a long blog post. One of the longest I have written in some time. But it was important for me to do so. This is where I keep a detailed story of our life as a family. This is where I keep photos that make me laugh, stories that make me cry and millions of blessings that the Lord blesses us with. And this story of my Gram is one of those. It had to be included.

In addition, I want the world (or all five of you who read this blog), to know how strong my testimony is of my Heavenly Father, my Savior, Jesus Christ and of the restored gospel found in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The life I have because of these and the blessings that come with the privilege it is to know what I know, with zero question and zero doubt, are beyond my wildest imagination. I couldn't have dreamed up such an amazing, beautiful, difficult, fabulous, crazy, incredible life if I tried.

I'm so very grateful.

A car conversation with Matt

M: Mom, did you know that most people's dreams last about 20 minutes?

L: I didn't. How do you know that?

M: I learned it in school.

L: How in the world did someone figure that out?

M: I don't know.

L: Maybe they hooked them up to those electrode things while they were sleeping and depending on how deep they were in REM, they knew they were dreaming?

M: Oh REM, like when someone's eyes move all over when they are really asleep?

L: {Slightly impressed} I didn't know you knew about REM? Did you learn that at school too?

M: No, I learned about it opening Ben's eyelids after he fell asleep.

L: ...............

Gracie baby

Not so sure about the camera.

 And still a little uneasy about it.

Oh wait, my mom is behind that big black thing.