Love

 
I've been thinking a lot today about what matters and what doesn't. And this picture Grace
asked me to take a couple of days ago feels like it sums up my conclusion quite nicely.

Homecoming

Homecoming group pictures for our Matt boy and darling Edie. They are just the cutest and I love that this huge group of friends is just so happy and hilarious and has the best time together. (Photos courtesy of one of the other moms and I'm so grateful for them.)

This boy of ours

Homecoming dance for this handsome son of mine tonight. It is a smaller, edited
version of the regular school dance (not hosted by the high school of course), but I'm
so thankful he could go. Because of the pandemic, he missed prom in the spring,

so I was so happy this dance worked out. And can't wait to see the photos of him

with his darling date, who I adore. I just really love Matthew Allen. A lot.

Yesterday (but actually Sunday, when he was home from college)

Turning twenty-one

Happy, Happy Birthday to my incredible Campbell! He is brilliant and hilarious and handsome
and kind and the ultimate optimist. He loves soccer and people and making those around
him laugh and Brasil and serving others and his Savior. It is one of the greatest privileges
of my life to be his mom. Happy Birthday my amazing boy! You are so outrageously loved.

Missing her deeply

It's been an incredibly hard week. Not only because the second anniversary of my Mom's
death was coming up, but mostly, for some other intense and emotional and taxing
reasons, filling up my days and nights, and hurting my heart in ways I wasn't
prepared to handle. Oh life can be rough and the agency of others can sting.

But.

But. These hard seconds and days and weeks (and dang it, sometimes even months
and years) make what the Savior was willing to do for us that much more incredible
and hopeful. It makes my knowledge that He never leaves our side that much more
beautiful. It makes His unimaginable love that much more enveloping and perfect.

Oh I don't deserve Him. But I will thank my Father in Heaven for all of eternity that
the gift of His Son was given to me in spite of that. Actually, likely because of that.

And it is precisely that gift, and my sure knowledge of Jesus Christ as my Savior and Redeemer,
that makes today a little bit easier to bear. It helps me to smile alongside the tears and to pray for
healing that I know He is willing to extend. For this day. For this week. For the second, two years
ago exactly, that my Mom took her last breath and returned home to that God who gave her life.
.
God is good. Jesus Christ is peace. And heaven is real. So very real. And because I know these
three truths to the deepest part of my heart, I will keep trying. Stumbling and falling and running
and skipping, and often clawing, myself forward. To a place that I once knew and lived. And a
Father in Heaven and a Savior who love me beyond imagination. It's where I belong. Always.

Two more years closer to being with you again, Mom. I miss you so much.

Today, this week, this lifetime. Please stay near. Because I'll never stop needing you.

Sacred days

The most sacred three days spent inside these walls. It is such a privilege to be
with those who need it most. Especially those I love like sweet Grandma Dawn.
I believe God put me on this earth to show love, especially to some very specific
people. And then He gives me these amazing opportunities to do that
in some really special ways. I just feel so thankful and humbled.

And my incredible family. They never once, during all three of the twelve-hour
days, acted like it was a problem to step up or help or have me gone during some
important moments. And Jacob, oh I love that man I married. So supportive and
encouraging and protective and kind and good to me. I'm so honored to be his.

Life is hard. Life is wonderful. Life is good. I'm so grateful I get to
experience mortality. Even when it breaks my heart a little. Or a whole lot.
It is still amazing and hopeful and full of opportunities to love.

Never forget

"People across the United States rediscovered the need for God and turned to Him for solace

and understanding. Comfortable times were shattered. We felt the great unsteadiness of life
and reached for the great steadiness of our Father in Heaven. And, as ever, we found it."

~Thomas S. Monson

Yesterday

Turning seven

Happiest Birthday to my sweet Gracie girl! She is happy and brave and hilarious and brilliant and
good. She loves unicorns and mermaids and princesses and dancing and drawing and her family.
I'm just so thankful to be her momma, I could burst. Happy Birthday baby girl! We love you like crazy.

Windy much?

Well now. That seems like a natural tilt to the gigantic trees in our backyard.

 

 

 And the result of such a strong, prolonged wind...

 

Not exactly the way we planned to spend the rest of our Tuesday afternoon.

This was after I wiped most of the flour off

A friendly game of rock paper scissors with an extra incentive not to lose. Which I did. Lose that is.

Our little dancer

We've been hesitant to move dance studios for Grace, because we love the one she's been
at for the past couple of years. But her friends have been asking her to join them for so
long, we decided to give it a try. And when I look at these three darlings, all excited
to dance together, I realize having friends in your dance class is a pretty great thing.

And college begins

First day of college for my two favorite university students yesterday. They found
out they have a shared class together on Monday. Which they didn't know until
the class was about to begin. Hilarious and awesome. I just really love them.

Bootless

This handsome boy of the gigantic shirt, who is so obediently putting away his clean
clothes, went to a doctor appointment today where he was told his medical boot was no longer
required. One tendon surgery, one week in a splint, four weeks in a cast and on crutches
and five weeks in a boot and he is finally down to an ankle brace for just a bit longer.

I'm truly beyond impressed and proud of Matt for his attitude this summer. It was just kind of
the worst, but he was truly amazing, even when it just really stunk. Love this boy so, so much.
Even if when I asked him if he wanted to smile for this picture he said, "Nah, I'm good."

Fall soccer and fabulous coaches

Fall soccer has begun for the white tigers, the green unicorns and the golden boys. Bring it on.

And the kids coach...this handsome man. And yes, I mean all three teams.
With his constant travel for years, coaching more than one soccer team has never
been an option. But since he can't travel right now, he decided to be an even more
amazing dad than he already is and coach three different teams. He's the best.
At coaching. At fathering. At husbanding. I'm so grateful him.
And that goatee of his...me gusta. Mucho.

College life

And then these lovely cheese wads went down to BYU yesterday.
One to stay and one to take care of a few things that needed to be done
before returning home tonight to start her remote BYU learning next week.

Can I just say having a child leave to live on their own, but within the same state and
available through phone or text, is kind of the best? The last time we did this going
away thing was a teeny tiny bit traumatic for a certain mother I know. But this one?
I highly recommend. I love that my kids want to live away and handle their own life,
but my getting to see and hear from them regularly isn't the saddest part of that equation.

Another first day of school

First day of {covid-style} school for these darlings. It's going to be a good year. 

Eleventh, seventh, third, first.

Elementary meet and greet

I took these darlings to the elementary meet and greet today. Life is so weird right now.
And I'm so beyond grateful for so many who are doing their best with a really hard
situation. These little loves are really excited to start school in a couple of days.
And I know how fortunate we are that they are able to. No matter how long it lasts
or what it looks like, we are just thankful. Especially for the teachers, administrators
and staff who are doing so much for so many of us. Particularly our little family.

Swim lessons

These chicklets took swim lessons throughout the whole summer. And I was blown
away by how much they learned and how skillfully they are swimming.
Their teacher sare the best. And clearly, the kids' tricks are pretty fantastic too. 

College life

We moved this handsome guy's belongings down to his dorm at BYU. He's out of
here, in just under a week, and while we will miss having him around to make us laugh
and to make life exciting, this is going to be a good thing. A really good thing.

He's ready to start college and live on his own (again) and be around a whole lot of
students his own age. I'm really excited for him. He's such a tremendous person. And some
really amazing things are coming his way. I absolutely cannot wait to watch him soar.

2020...in a single photo

Every single time this picture that Annie took of this little darling from Guatemala
comes up on our computer slideshow, I snort with laughter. I love it so much.

But in the recent days and weeks, I've decided that for me, this picture completely epitomizes
2020. I've NEVER felt so much like my entire mood and the deepest feelings of my heart were
better conveyed in any photo. So I'll just leave it right here for all of your viewing enjoyment
and to remind myself how much I'm loving 2020 and all that it has brought my way.

And wow, August already. This year is a flying by. And by flying, I mean,
like if a sloth flew. That kind of flying. You know, muy rapido.

He has not left one thing undone

"We once knew well our Elder Brother and His and our Father in Heaven. We rejoiced at the
prospects of earth life that could make it possible for us to have a fulness of joy. We could
hardly wait to demonstrate to our Father and our Brother, the Lord, how much we loved them
and how we would be obedient to them in spite of the earthly opposition of the evil one.

Now we are here. Our memories are veiled. We are showing God and ourselves what we
can do. Nothing is going to startle us more when we pass through the veil to the other
side than to realize how well we know our Father and how familiar His face is to us.

God loves us. He is watching us. He wants us to succeed. We will know some day that He has
not left one thing undone for the eternal welfare of each of us. If we only knew it, heavenly
hosts are pulling for us—friends in heaven that we cannot now remember who yearn for
our victory. This is our day to show what we can do—what life and sacrifice we can daily,
hourly, instantly make for God. If we give our all, we will get His all, from the greatest of all."

~ Ezra Taft Benson